Ministry for Paper Waving

Little Nicky whiffs at PMQs

All eyes were on today's PMQs to see how Cleggers would perform in his first session as LibDem leader, and by Westmonster's reckoning, Nicky accomplished the admirable feat of making Ming Campbell seem exciting by comparison. Perhaps we were distracted because he followed the PM and Cameron having spittle-laced exchanges… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 9 Jan 2008 2:50 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Cleggers Prays Not

Is it us, or does Christmas come earlier every year? News has fallen off a cliff in the last 48 hours since the terrific excitement of Cleggers' election. And yes, we are including the announcement of the Cleggers "front bench team" (actually front-bench-and-a-bit-off-to-the-side team). BONG! He might not believe in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Dec 2007 5:20 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

All change please

Missing Vince Cable

The Telegraph is nostalgic for the Cable and his acting-leadership-ways already. Here's what they - speaking for us all - love about him, in order: Making coup jokes as he hands over the Mr LibDem crown Ballroom dancing with Alesha, once of Mis-Teeq Making Gord quake (but not in a… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 19 Dec 2007 8:57 AM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Fleet-of-foot Vince

Vince Cable is really enjoying his hour in the sun, apparently skipping a LibDem federal executive meeting to attend the filming of the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special. Apparently he told Simon Hughes, the chair of the Executive, that the LibDem cause would be better served by his face appearing… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 11:16 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 5/12/07

So, what did we think? Again, Westmonster feels that Cameron was competent enough, but banging on about the chairmanship of a Committee stopped short of winning the They Talk About Nothing Else On The Streets of Rotherham Award. Possibly he was wary of dragging the Donorgate thing out any longer… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 11:40 AM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

A message from Vince Cable

What me? Oh no, no, no. I'm just a backroom boy: I put a bit of stick about, I make 'em jump. There's plenty of young chaps - ambitious chaps, too - around who aspire to the leadership of our party. Best leave the serious campaigning to them. Of course, you might think… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 11:23 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

It's Bean a Long Week

Another Saturday, another roundup, but we're getting a bit fed up of beginning these with "another grim week for the Gord," so until otherwise stated, just take that one as read, folks. Monday dawned with another attempt on the part of the comrades to "relaunch," this time though a speech… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Dec 2007 12:55 PM. There are 6 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

The pitfalls of a democratic system

BONG! The Spectator CoffeeHouse and the new Telegraph blog, Three Line Whip, agree that the Gord can't sack Harman even if he wanted to as she was democratically elected by the membership, and it would be up to them to decide whether to remove her. As deputy leader, the Labour… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 5:27 PM. There are 4 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 28/11/07

Iain Dale reckons that Cameron slam-dunked it, but here at Westmonster we're not so sure. Yeah, okay so Davy managed a few jibes about Brown's trustworthiness but really, any child with an above room temperature IQ could have managed that today. Maybe he's worried about some hitherto undiscovered logs in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 11:41 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 21/11/07

Well, it wasn't the unmitigated disaster for the Gord that it could have been: Brown highlighted a review that Would Solve Everyone's Problems, Cameron (who was a little off-form) hammered his questions out all in one go and raised the viability of ID cards in the wake of the fiasco,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Nov 2007 11:04 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Oh, Darling!

BONG! As part of its mission to establish a record for the largest number of emergency statements in the shortest amount of time (three in the past week, by our reckoning), the Government reveals that Her Maj's Revenue and Customs lost the records of 25 million individuals in the, er,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Nov 2007 5:48 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 14/11/07

The first PMQs of the 2007/08 session saw the Gord do what he does best: dig in his heels and refuse to budge. Oh, Davy danced around, aiming punches over when he knew about the Jacqui Smith Immigrant Shame, but he resolutely refused to answer. We were also treated to the sight… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Nov 2007 11:41 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Vince gets his sex on

Why oh why can't the Liberals keep Vince Cable as leader? Such is the lament from Liberal Democrat blogger Paul Walter, but the charms of the Vincemeister are not limited to the narrow sphere of the blogosphere alone. Oh no. We'd like to draw readers' attention to this Facebook group… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 12 Nov 2007 2:42 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Bring me the head of Gordon Brown!

The Times is getting its journalistic knickers in a twist over what appears to be some intern buggering up the personalised-to-your-area press release jobbie. What do we want? An Independent Inquiry(TM)! When do we want it? NOW! Keith Vaz MP, chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee, condemns the Government's "British… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Nov 2007 8:45 AM. Permalink

Department for Expanding the British Museum

Saudi Arabia: our shared values?

Westmonster cannot help but admire the grit of Saudi leader, King Abdullah. In spite of the news that whatshisname from the Liberal Democrats had refused to swap pleasantries with him over canapes, somehow His Highness has managed to summon up the inner-steel to carry on with his British visit in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 29 Oct 2007 4:57 PM. There are 3 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

A dubious ally?

Vince Cable sets his stall out on why he's going to be boycotting the visit of the Saudi king. This article's headline ("Vince Cable: a dubious ally who devalues our government") promised much, but it turns out the piece is by Vince rather than about him so was ultimately… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 29 Oct 2007 8:49 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Administrative Affairs

Packing up for prorogation

Westmonster reckons that this week is the last full week before the House is prorogued in advance of the Queen's speech, so there's lots of excitement involving carry-over motions and stuff. Contain yourselves. Anyway, full itinerary here, and the edited highlights appear below: Oral PQs Monday: Defence Tuesday: Trasport; Chancellor… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Oct 2007 11:30 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

Le roi est mort. Vive le roi! As soon as we've found him.

It was a boring Monday in Parliament. MPs dozed happily on the green benches during Home Office questions, whilst hacks and bloggers lazily looked around for something to write about. A dull day like any other until... ...at 6pm the Sports and Social ran out of Spitfire! Oh, and whatshisname who… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Oct 2007 11:03 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE! PMQs for 17/10/07

Westmonster provides live coverage of Prime Minister's Questions every Wednesday at Midday, when the House is in session. Below is the coverage of Prime Minister's Questions for 17 November 2007. 11:57 AM: Here we go again folks, and the Ministers responsible for the Department for Handing Out Lots of Money… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Oct 2007 11:57 AM. Permalink

Department of Advance Early Warning

PMQs Live @ Midday

Will Gordon be able to grin and "bear it"? Is Dave on form? How will Vince hold up on his first go-round? All this and more as Westmonster brings you its weekly live coverage of Prime Minister's Questions today at Midday.… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 17 Oct 2007 10:32 AM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Run Vince! Run!

Spotted in Portcullis House: acting leader of the Liberal Democrats, former knife wielder, and potential leadership candidate Vince Cable running at surprising speed past the lunchtime phalanx of posing bag-carriers. Is Vince attempting to bolster his claim to the leadership by demonstrating he can move faster than Sir Ming, or… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 16 Oct 2007 2:46 PM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Night of the Long Knives (part the second)

Well folks, it only seems a moment ago that Chucky K. was lying bleeding on the floor of the Senate (or "Cowley Street" as it is sometimes known) muttering the words et tu Ming? as his political lifeblood drained away. The tables having turned less than two years later, it… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 16 Oct 2007 11:13 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

And now for something (nearly) completely different

BONG! Iain Dale calls the position of Chief Knife Wielder for Vince Cable, says Simon Hughes picked the knife up, and nominates Chucky to replace him. Westmonster assumes Mr. Dale's motives for putting Kennedy forward are 99 44/100 per cent pure. BONG! Are you an ambitious young berk? Do you… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 15 Oct 2007 8:40 PM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Did you wield the dagger?

And we're over to Cowley Street where Simon Hughes is speaking in sepia tones for some reason. Campbell's resigned and Deputy Leader Vince Cable (the only person in the Liberal Democrats who is older than Ming) is taking over until a successor can be found. The assembled hacks spent the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 15 Oct 2007 6:38 PM. Permalink

Department for the Tyburn Jig

Commons Chamber: it nearly got exciting

The Parliamentary week begins with Home Office questions. According to a highly representative poll carried out by Westmonster (sample size: one), Home Secretary Jacqui Smith is a laydee of many charms, not least of which is the ability to stand up in the Chamber and administer a strong performance without… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 15 Oct 2007 2:46 PM. Permalink

Westmonster: “Vince Cable”