Westmonster: “Tesco”

Ministry for Devolution

Cherie Blair to open literary festival...

Sexy literary genius Cherie Blair is set to take the book publishing world by storm as she prepares to make a special guest appearance at West Yorkshire's Ilkley Literature Festival. The wife of former PM Tony Blair will officially open the event before giving lucky punters an exclusive insight into… read more…
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Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Tesco goes political...

Tesco has stated that it is to stop sourcing products from Zimbabwe, due to the political crisis. BBC. Gordon Brown's 'once-in-a-generation' reform plans will make the NHS one of the best health systems in the world. ePolitix. Four Iraqi men are planning to sue U.S. military contractors after being tortured… read more…
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Ministry for Social Intrusion

Government asks supermarkets to spy on migrants..

In a move that sounds like the plot of a bad movie, The Telegraph has reported that the government wants councils to start spying on migrants in supermarkets. It all seems like some lo-fi Orwellian nightmare but is ostensibly based in fact. It all revolves around supermarkets such as Tesco,… read more…
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Ministry for Stopping The Presses

Does the gentleman have a Nectar card?

Not to put too fine a point on it, but how many among us can claim we never earned Air Miles on business travel that we later used for a personal flight? That said, Westmonster plans to fully take advantage of the new lower threshold for government scandals, using our… read more…
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Department for Diffrunt People

Pile it high, sell it cheap

See that Terry Leahy, boss of Tesco, over there? He's a drug-pushing, youth-destroying, society-debauching Mafia boss, he is: The Selby MP John Grogan, a longstanding advocate of the pub trade, said: "It is with regret I say this, but I do really want to charge Terence Leahy, the boss of… read more…
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Ministry for Things We'd Like To Know

Tesco's: the best case for the nanny state?

Westmonster has just got back from the weekly shopping run and has reached the conclusion that whilst the nanny state is not a good thing, it may well be a necessary evil. Just look at what goes on in a state of nature (or "Tesco's" as it's sometimes known) for… read more…
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