Ministry for Scripted One Liners

Punch and Judy round 2

Gordon Brown and David Cameron impugned each other's integrity during a heated debated at Prime Minister's Question time this afternoon. Mr Cameron accused Mr Brown of being more concerned with his celebrity buddies than his political responsibilities, stating that the Prime Minister did nothing all day but sit around 10… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 7 May 2008 4:26 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Witty Rejoinders

Zinger of the week: Hoggart

Much ado about Clegg's choice of seat at yesterday's PMQs, away from the traditional spot by the gangway. Simon Hoggart recounts this comment from a colleague: "When the prime minister wakes up in the morning, he worries about what to do. When the leader of the opposition gets up, he… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 10 Jan 2008 9:17 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

Little Nicky whiffs at PMQs

All eyes were on today's PMQs to see how Cleggers would perform in his first session as LibDem leader, and by Westmonster's reckoning, Nicky accomplished the admirable feat of making Ming Campbell seem exciting by comparison. Perhaps we were distracted because he followed the PM and Cameron having spittle-laced exchanges… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 9 Jan 2008 2:50 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Jailhouse Rock

BONG! Three new "super-size" gaols to be built. Either because we're all getting fatter or the Government plans on banging more people up. One of the two. BONG! The consensus appears to be that the Gord just about pulled ahead of the Boy Cameron in PMQs. Really? Westmonster thought Davy… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 5:42 PM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

It's Bean a Long Week

Another Saturday, another roundup, but we're getting a bit fed up of beginning these with "another grim week for the Gord," so until otherwise stated, just take that one as read, folks. Monday dawned with another attempt on the part of the comrades to "relaunch," this time though a speech… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Dec 2007 12:55 PM. There are 6 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

The pitfalls of a democratic system

BONG! The Spectator CoffeeHouse and the new Telegraph blog, Three Line Whip, agree that the Gord can't sack Harman even if he wanted to as she was democratically elected by the membership, and it would be up to them to decide whether to remove her. As deputy leader, the Labour… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 5:27 PM. There are 4 comments so far. Permalink

News From The Big Tent

Osborne squeaks out the Moody Blues

Osborne has told Labour Party fundraiser that he better go now, go now, go now, over the latter's alleged knowledge of Abrahams funding practices. From Nick Robinson: Well well well. A second senior Labour Party official knew about the secret donations by David Abrahams. Jon Mendelson - who was appointed… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 10:44 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Administrative Affairs

Are we nearly there yet?

Is it nearly the Christmas recess yet? No? Oh. Okay, well here we go again, then: Oral PQs Monday - Work and Pensions Tuesday - Foreign and Commonwealth Wednesday - Wales; Prime Minister Thursday - Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform; Business statement.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Nov 2007 12:11 PM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

In which bollocks were - comprehensively - dropped

Is being leader of the Opposition easy, we were asking last night in the pub? Yeah, we all know that being an MP is bloody hard work if you do it properly, and the higher you get, the more demands there are on you. So how has Davy Cameron made… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Nov 2007 10:02 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry of Love

The Gord calls time on chaos

The Gord is set to deflect attention from the woes of Jacqui and assorted immigration traumas by getting all tough on terror. Yup, straight after PMQs he's going to announce the conclusions of two major security reviews which - one presumes - will have the rather welcome side-effect of putting the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Nov 2007 10:25 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

Things can only get better (they can't get much worse)

The Gord's woes were many at the beginning of the week, and by the end they were legion. A particularly irritating leit motif for Brown was the fact that Anthony Seldon's new book on Blair hit the shelves over the weekend, so the PM's parade was further rained upon by various reminiscences of… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 27 Oct 2007 12:47 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Our Friends North of the Border

A bad day for Dougie

Oh dear. It looks like wee Dougie Alexander is in trouble again. Less than a month after he (along with Balls and Miliband the Even Younger) was fingered for Chickengate, the Gould report highlights a "notable level of party self-interest in Ministerial decision making" which contributed to the disenfranchising of thousands of Scottish… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 24 Oct 2007 2:26 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 24/10/07

This week at PMQs we were treated to the sight of the Gord under fire over the report into the Scottish election fiasco, Cameron changed his strategy and split up his questions leading to an outbreak of stuttering from the PM around twenty minutes in, Michael Martin fought an ultimately pointless battle to… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 24 Oct 2007 11:43 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Administrative Affairs

Packing up for prorogation

Westmonster reckons that this week is the last full week before the House is prorogued in advance of the Queen's speech, so there's lots of excitement involving carry-over motions and stuff. Contain yourselves. Anyway, full itinerary here, and the edited highlights appear below: Oral PQs Monday: Defence Tuesday: Trasport; Chancellor… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Oct 2007 11:30 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

Le roi est mort. Vive le roi! As soon as we've found him.

It was a boring Monday in Parliament. MPs dozed happily on the green benches during Home Office questions, whilst hacks and bloggers lazily looked around for something to write about. A dull day like any other until... ...at 6pm the Sports and Social ran out of Spitfire! Oh, and whatshisname who… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Oct 2007 11:03 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE! PMQs for 17/10/07

Westmonster provides live coverage of Prime Minister's Questions every Wednesday at Midday, when the House is in session. Below is the coverage of Prime Minister's Questions for 17 November 2007. 11:57 AM: Here we go again folks, and the Ministers responsible for the Department for Handing Out Lots of Money… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Oct 2007 11:57 AM. Permalink

Department of Advance Early Warning

PMQs Live @ Midday

Will Gordon be able to grin and "bear it"? Is Dave on form? How will Vince hold up on his first go-round? All this and more as Westmonster brings you its weekly live coverage of Prime Minister's Questions today at Midday.… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 17 Oct 2007 10:32 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Administrative Affairs

Slaughter of the Innocents

Week two of the autumn term, and already it feels like we've been back forever. All the excitement of a full sitting week is detailed below. Oral PQs Monday - Home Office Tuesday - Scotland; Communities and Local Government Wednesday - International Development; Prime Minister Thursday - Treasury Important stuff… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Oct 2007 10:06 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

...and the Tories are back in town!

The story so far: A good week in the polls for Labour after their Conference ratcheted up speculation on a snap election, to the point that everyone just assumed it was going to happen. Gorgeous, brooding Gordon Brown - ably assisted by his brilliant coterie of young advisors - was… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Oct 2007 10:14 AM. Permalink

Department for Expanding the British Museum

Unexpected consequences

According to the Beeb, the Number Ten petition asking for a referendum on the EU Treaty now has 8,586 signatures, up from 26 when Brown mentioned it in PMQs on Wednesday. The inevitable Facebook groups have shown a late surge as well. Any betting Cameron won't mention this at next… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 12 Oct 2007 9:44 AM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

LibDems: the phoney war begins

After yesterday's excitement with Gord going all "grrrrr! Smash!" on Cameron's ass and the consequent Bear Metaphor Massacre in the broadsheets, it looks like the ladies and gentlemen of the fourth estate have feasted well and are now looking for dessert elsewhere. Whilst Ming Campbell might not look like a… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Oct 2007 3:05 PM. Permalink

Don't Look Ethel!

Good interventions, bad interventions

Quiet, isn't it? Now that PMQs is done with, Gord's week from hell is all over bar the shouting and the hacks have repaired to the boozer bustled off to write their analyses. Even the Tories seem to have jibbed it. It's Opposition Day and they've chosen motions on not… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Oct 2007 3:33 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE! PMQs for 10/10/07

11:59 A couple of minutes to go until Welsh Questions winds up, and Westmonster would like it noted that it appears to be House of Commons Loud Tie Day, with both Peter Hain and Jack Straw wearing eye-watering confections. Looking good, gents. 12:00 Here we go. Harriet wrestles aside the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Oct 2007 11:38 AM. Permalink

Department of Advance Early Warning

PMQs Live @ Midday

The House is back in session, and as a regular feature, Westmonster will be live blogging Prime Minister's Questions as and when they occur.Coverage begins today at midday for the first PMQs of this session.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Oct 2007 8:57 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Administrative Affairs

Back 2 Skool

Whilst the kids have been back at their various educational institutions for a month, our Members of Parliament will return from their summer holidays tomorrow. Yes. The middle of October. This week's business can be seen in full here. Oral PQs Monday - Work and Pensions; Leader of the House… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Oct 2007 10:25 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Dave's speech: the fallout

BONG! Cameron's choice of campaign song is questioned by Tom Watson: apparently it's about gangstas, taking drugs, smacking hos, shooting up the pigs, and all of the jolly unpleasant things that the Tories are dreadfully unhappy about. Poor show, chaps! BONG! Five minutes before Dave is due to address Conference, Nadine… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Oct 2007 6:48 PM. Permalink

Westmonster: “Prime Minister's questions”