Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Bad teeth on the rise...

Due to a government shake-up of the system, fewer people are visiting NHS dentists than they were a few years ago. The Times. A senior adviser of Barack Obama has stated that Britain must lead the world on prevention of bioterrorism. The Guardian. Shadow leader of the House, Theresa May,… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 6 Jun 2008 7:51 AM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Heffer: Tories 'stupid party'

Simon Heffer's sure in a huff. In today's Telegraph, Heffer points the finger squarely at David Cameron and George Osborne for failing to bury Labour in light of Northern Rock, and months of "sleaze, failure, and prevarication" from the government: "Being an opposition is not just about pointing the finger.… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 20 Feb 2008 9:47 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Pissing In The Wind

Tories cynical on Rock

Memo to Dave, George, and friends: when you've made considerable hay out of tarring the government with the brush of transparent political cynicism, it's a good idea to steer clear yourselves of transparently cynical political grandstanding. Oops! Too late. Tempted though Alistair Darling may have been to rise to the… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 18 Feb 2008 1:05 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Life on Mars

Sailors fighting in the dance hall

My name is Westmonster. I had an accident, and I woke up in 1973. Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home. In this week's… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 18 Feb 2008 9:29 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Anatole hearts Gordon. Not.

What the hell has Gordon Brown ever done to Anatole Kaletsky? The esteemed economic commentator went nuclear on El Gordo this morning, arguing that the Northern Rock plan - convert the debt into government bonds, then sell the thing off - represents a government cock-up on the scale of the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Jan 2008 12:37 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

A Hain in Gord's arse

The story that won't go away continues to embarrass the government, as Cameron warns Peter Hain he has some 'splaining to do. El Gordo offers his full support to Hain, except, well, not. But wait! Boy George has some 'splaining to do too. Westmonster is flummoxed — who knew… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 14 Jan 2008 9:20 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

More cash for Tony

Apparently peace in the Middle East is not enough of a challenge for Tony Blair. In his spare time, the Tonemeister is taking an over-£500,000 consulting job with U.S. investment bank JP Morgan. What effect the new job will have on his videotaping schedule for White House videos, Westmonster… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 10 Jan 2008 7:35 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

'O' has the mo'

Westmonster turns its head toward America today, as the big political story has Illinois U.S. Senator Barack Obama and former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee taking the Iowa Presidential Selection Caucuses on the Democratic and Republican sides, respectively. Democratic Senators Joe Biden (Delaware) and Christopher Dodd (Connecticut) dropped out of the… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 4 Jan 2008 7:54 AM. Permalink

I'll have some Northern Rock please

A slice of Northern Rock

So there's this secret plan (not so secret anymore, Guardian!) to give a bit of Northern Rock to each of the high street banks. Some interesting points arise from this article: Fish-eye lenses make for weird photosSurely the Gord can break his own fiscal rules? It's only a small matter… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 18 Dec 2007 8:43 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Mail: Lady voters heart Davy

"Women voters have ended their ten-year love affair with Labour and are switching to the Tories." The Daily Mail, as ever, has the inside track on what's going through the ladies' minds. Apparently, it's this: "What does approval rating mean?" Because the article explains it. Also, children think Cammers is… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 17 Dec 2007 8:35 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

56 is the new 42?

La, la, la, 42, 42, 42. Oh, wait. Look at this number tucked away down there at the bottom of the article! So the home affairs committee is still considering 56 eh? Very sneaky. Otherwise, Gordon's had a bit of a bashing from the press this morning. Again. The Telegraph… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 14 Dec 2007 8:13 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

You've been trumped!

When your name's Donald Trump, Scotland bows down to you. Still, political furore may well ensue. Ooh, the grilling of Broon commences. Click here for the Guardian's live updates! Lord Falconer: No on 42! Is no one on Jacqui Smith's side? Labour vs Conservative: How can we make the lives… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 13 Dec 2007 8:52 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Not Holding One's Breath

Save Northern Rock!

It's being bullied! By The Eyebrows! Says Chris Huhne. His fellow LibDemmer, Vince Cable, says that the bank is "bleeding to death," suggesting that he's taking this anthropomorphism thing a bit far, or else has been listening to far too much Leona Lewis. Even Cammers has got involved; unsurprisingly, he's… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 11 Dec 2007 9:54 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

The Broon mirage?

The vultures continue to circle over the Gord, and this time they're carrying economic statistics!. Gulp. Northern Rock hasn't gone away: a second bidder has pulled out of the process. David Abrahams plays the "is it 'cos I is black?" card and threatens dark happenings if he keeps getting kneed… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Dec 2007 8:32 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 28/11/07

Iain Dale reckons that Cameron slam-dunked it, but here at Westmonster we're not so sure. Yeah, okay so Davy managed a few jibes about Brown's trustworthiness but really, any child with an above room temperature IQ could have managed that today. Maybe he's worried about some hitherto undiscovered logs in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 11:41 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Rocking (ahem) the boat

BONG! Hopi Sen analyses the balanced media coverage of the Northern Rock saga. BONG! All together now: Labour's in the money! It's in the money! It's got a lot of what it takes to get in trouble with the Electoral Commission!… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 26 Nov 2007 5:47 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

"I go away for a couple of days ..."

Imagine the scene. You're a Prime Minister who has to leave the country to partake of tea, cucumber sandwiches, and pointless diplomacy with Brenda in Africa for a week. You leave a "to do" list pinned to the fridge, a list of emergency numbers by the phone, and stress to Alan Johnson… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 26 Nov 2007 9:31 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Things We'd Like To Know

Martin Bright: "we all dooooomed!"

Martin Bright's got a post on his blog about the lamentations of the Gord, and it ain't pretty reading: The trouble for Brown is that when the poison starts to eat at the government's reputation it has a retrospective effect, seeping back to corrode even past triumphs. People are beginning… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Nov 2007 12:27 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 21/11/07

Well, it wasn't the unmitigated disaster for the Gord that it could have been: Brown highlighted a review that Would Solve Everyone's Problems, Cameron (who was a little off-form) hammered his questions out all in one go and raised the viability of ID cards in the wake of the fiasco,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Nov 2007 11:04 AM. Permalink

Department for Expanding the British Museum

Miliband: master of the double entendre?

Heh. An otherwise unremarkable Foreign Office Questions was livened up briefly by Miliband the Younger's response to a question as to whether the FCO anticipated Musharraf would still be in power in a few weeks hence.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Nov 2007 2:24 PM. There are 4 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Media circus ahoy: bloke resigns

An indication of how 24-hour news has enriched all our lives comes with the coverage of Alistair Darling's surprise statement in the House (scheduled for 3.30pm today) and the announcement that the chairman of Revenue and Custons - Paul Gray - has resigned over a rumoured loss of child benefit… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Nov 2007 1:02 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Getting one's Rocks off

The one good thing about the Northern Rock crisis is the fact that it allows hacks and bloggers to pun muchly and shamelessly, in the manner of an early Christmas panto or a particularly groan-worthy episode of "Round the Horne". Ann Treneman in the Times leads today's charge with a… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Nov 2007 7:25 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Icebergs and revolutions

BONG! Are the Eyebrows heading for a Northern Rock-shaped iceberg? Alistair Darling defended his role in the bank's ongoing ishoos, as "suitors" (as they are rather quaintly called) line up to shaft vigorously make their arguments for the fair lady's hand. BONG! Still, as Guido reported yesterday, it's not bad… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Nov 2007 5:38 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

On the (Northern) Rocks

Nick Robinson on Alistair Darling's Northern Rock-related predicament: "His job is on the line". So said the Tory shadow chancellor, George Osborne, with menace today. Whilst struggling to imagine quite how Boy George does "menace," the stakes (poll-wise) for the comrades are high, according to Mike Smithson.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Nov 2007 3:12 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 14/11/07

The first PMQs of the 2007/08 session saw the Gord do what he does best: dig in his heels and refuse to budge. Oh, Davy danced around, aiming punches over when he knew about the Jacqui Smith Immigrant Shame, but he resolutely refused to answer. We were also treated to the sight… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Nov 2007 11:41 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Resignations and turmoil

In response to the Enoch-stylings of one time PPC Nigel Hastilow, Olly's Onions suggests that the Tories take advantage of the publicity and launch a poster campaign ... Fair Deal Phil has a look at what all this says about the real impact of Dave's shiny, shiny hair on… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Nov 2007 8:49 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

Signing sanity away

BONG! In the wake of the Gord signing up to the EU Treaty, opinion on the blogosphere is divided. Grimmer up North is irritated that the promise of a referendum was a manifesto promise as opposed to an actual commitment, whilst Mike Ion reckons not. BONG! The Norfolk Blogger on the ITV phone-in scandal. We… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Oct 2007 6:20 PM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Letwin: I see dead people

Oliver Letwin is Doris Stokes, and Westmonster claims her £5. In an interview conducted with the Independent yesterday Letwin was asked, inter alia, whether the Tory Party had underestimated Gordon Brown. His response: No. As a matter of fact, we had a presentation before he took over, which predicted… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 2 Oct 2007 10:25 AM. Permalink

Westmonster: “Northern Rock”