Meedja on the Insanity Pills

10 reasons to start a riot...

The death rate after major surgery within NHS hospitals is three times as high as it should be. The Telegraph. David Davis won his by-election with a huge majority of 15,355 - maybe it would have been easier if he'd just moved office or something. BBC. Nick Clegg has been… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 11 Jul 2008 8:41 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Interspecific Relations

Cameron gets with the Shine Week spirit...

David Cameron has found himself overcome by the festive spirit of Shine Week by hanging out with Simon Cowell at a children's party in celebration of 60 years of the NHS. The two were spotted having a jolly old time at Evelina Children’s Hospital in London whilst inspiring youngsters to… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 2 Jul 2008 6:37 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Break Ups

Painful break-up may stall Lib Dems...

Sexy Nick Clegg has been loved and left by his chief of spin after an emotional 15 month tryst. Jonny Oates, who had been spinning the words of the Lib Dem team since early last year, decided that he was still young enough to be playing the field and that… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 11 Jun 2008 1:00 PM. Permalink

Ministry For Transport Trauma

Lib Dem transport plan: 8p a kilometre, please

If you pay attention to the doomsayers - and in this miserable world of ours, doomsayers are often the ones you should be paying attention to - you'll know that the transport system in Britain is destined to collapse, and that those childhood dreams of cruising around on hoverboards… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 3 Jun 2008 11:35 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Panic on the streets of London...

Police had to stick their riot gear on again last night after Chelsea supporters in West London got angry about something. The Times. If you hadn't heard about it, the Crewe and Nantwich by-election takes place today. BBC. ePolitix. The suits at the UN have warned that the Beijing Olympics… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 22 May 2008 7:45 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Shaken not Stirred

Intrepid Nick Clegg avoids Taliban rockets...

Famous philanderer and Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has found a sure-fire way to get more hot sex: almost being shot by the Taliban. In an incident that will surely provide the Handsome One with enough ammunition to charm even the most chaste of ladies into his liberal bed,… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 19 May 2008 10:11 AM. Permalink

Department for Ctrl-Alt-Delete

Nick Clegg: ex-Tory?

Following his 'look-at-me, I'm-a-geezer-innit' admission that he has slept with up to 30 women, Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg could be facing another, more politically relevant set of demons from his past. And we're not talking about that time he was observed switching off Question Time so he could… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 15 Apr 2008 10:52 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

A Long Time in Politics

Nick Clegg: the fake Lib Dem leader?

It's been a bad week for Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg. He provoked sniggers, nicknames like 'Commons Casanova' and predictable outrage from the Daily Mail when he claimed in a GQ interview to have slept with around 30 women before meeting his wife (which, to be fair, sounds like… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 6 Apr 2008 7:22 PM. Permalink

Cammers showing a split

Those clever chaps at Revolts.co.uk have pointed out something interesting from last night's EuroDisco. Nick Clegg wasn't the only young man with some stroppy kids to deal with: As everyone examined the damage done to Nick Clegg's leadership by the largest Lib Dem rebellion in six years, the Commons also… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Mar 2008 10:56 AM. Permalink

LibDem rebels

Andrew George, Annette Brooke, Alistair Carmichael, David Heath, Greg Mulholland, John Hemming, John Leech, John Pugh, Mark Williams, Martin Horwood, Mike Hancock, Paul Holmes, Richard Younger-Ross, Sandra Gidley, Tim Farron. See me afterwards. Interestingly, five of these sites were unavailable this morning. And not one of the LibDem 15 had… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Mar 2008 8:24 AM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

LibDem resignation

Martin Crick has "hear" that the LibDem meltdown has begun: I hear that Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has already accepted one resignation from a front bench member over the issue of holding a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Mar 2008 2:59 PM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Cleggy risking a lot

James Kirkup has written up Nick Clegg's Lisbon Treaty lobby briefing from earlier today, and the LibDem leader ain't budging: Yes, he's put his MPs on a three line whip not to vote at all when the Commons decides on a Tory bid for a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty. … read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Mar 2008 2:30 PM. Permalink

The Funding Scrolls

Cameron and Clegg: naughty boys

Time for the two opposition leaders to get slapped wrists from the Electoral Commission. Nick Clegg didn't declare 14 grand in cash donations in time (including some from, intriguingly, Ian Wright. Not that Ian Wright, surely?). And David Cameron, aka Caesar's wife, was late to declare a non-cash gift from… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 29 Feb 2008 4:43 PM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Is Clegg turning into Foggy?

The LibDem attitude to the Euro-referendum gets weirder and weirder: Next week, after months of legal argument and political squabbling, Parliament will vote on whether the Lisbon treaty should be put to a referendum. However, Lib Dems have been told to stay away from both the Aye and No lobbies,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Feb 2008 9:07 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Now, that's entertainment

Anne McElvoy in the Speccie today argues that we are about to be governed by, wait for it, The Jam Generation: What do David Cameron, David Miliband, Nick Clegg, Yvette Cooper, Michael Gove and (just about) George Osborne have in common? They are part of the Jam Generation: a powerful… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 15 Feb 2008 8:30 AM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Should Nicky take on Dave?

You've got to love the Lib Dem faithful — only they could dub Dave Cameron's Europe policy "bore for Britain" and fail to see the irony. That said, James Graham makes an interesting point about the opportunity facing Nick Clegg as he heads into the latter half of his first… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 11 Feb 2008 2:30 PM. Permalink

All change please

Cameron nearing 1992 levels?

Polls are la-la and mood music in the papers is pointless. When we want to know which way political sentiment is running, we turn to Mike Smithson's Political Betting, and today he's got a doozy. He reckons the predicted number of Tory seats in an election, according to Sporting Index,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 23 Jan 2008 10:36 AM. Permalink

Department for Kite Flying

El Gordo's Get Out of Jail card?

Does El Gordo have a constitutional get out of jail card, and is it called PR? They may just be kite-flying, but the Indy this morning has a speculative piece saying that Jack Straw's Ministry of Justice will this week set out options for replacing Westminster's first-past-the-post system. No other… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Jan 2008 9:36 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

A Hain in Gord's arse

The story that won't go away continues to embarrass the government, as Cameron warns Peter Hain he has some 'splaining to do. El Gordo offers his full support to Hain, except, well, not. But wait! Boy George has some 'splaining to do too. Westmonster is flummoxed — who knew… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 14 Jan 2008 9:20 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Witty Rejoinders

Zinger of the week: Hoggart

Much ado about Clegg's choice of seat at yesterday's PMQs, away from the traditional spot by the gangway. Simon Hoggart recounts this comment from a colleague: "When the prime minister wakes up in the morning, he worries about what to do. When the leader of the opposition gets up, he… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 10 Jan 2008 9:17 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

Little Nicky whiffs at PMQs

All eyes were on today's PMQs to see how Cleggers would perform in his first session as LibDem leader, and by Westmonster's reckoning, Nicky accomplished the admirable feat of making Ming Campbell seem exciting by comparison. Perhaps we were distracted because he followed the PM and Cameron having spittle-laced exchanges… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 9 Jan 2008 2:50 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Doom, gloom, shake the room

Uh-oh, tighten those belts. The Bank of England says it's going to be choppy in 2008 thanks to global mortgage-lending buffoons. Presumably the Tories are now well ensconced in the "any bad news is good news for us" zone, so Happy New Year, Davey! Cleggers is investing in social mobility,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Jan 2008 4:56 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Cleggers Prays Not

Is it us, or does Christmas come earlier every year? News has fallen off a cliff in the last 48 hours since the terrific excitement of Cleggers' election. And yes, we are including the announcement of the Cleggers "front bench team" (actually front-bench-and-a-bit-off-to-the-side team). BONG! He might not believe in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Dec 2007 5:20 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

A BNP divided

The BNP appears to be riven asunder and they think that'll be the reason no one votes for them. Um no. It's the racism thing, kids. What does the wise party spokesman, Simon Derby, have to say? He denies the BNP is irrevocably split - claiming it is simply going… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 20 Dec 2007 8:24 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

A sad day

Westmonster is sad to report, officially, the Death of Political Journalism on the BBC. This follows last night's edition of the BBC's flagship political news programme, Newsnight, which chose to cover the LibDem leadership election with a useless analogy to the X Factor and which was then followed by a… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Dec 2007 9:46 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Welching on Clegg

Intriguing stuff over at politicalbetting.com, where Mike Smithson is calling out one of his commenters over welching on a bet. The commenter, called The Observer (maybe he's a Silver Surfer fan but The Watcher was already taken), claims to be a "senior member" of the LibDems and offered a bet… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Dec 2007 9:27 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

"All parties do make mistakes"

Cammers' local party was naughty and took £7,400 in illegal gifts. When they realised their naughtiness, they returned the money. Of course, Cammers is all innocent and that, but he said that "Labour's mistakes are of a different order." The funds were forfeited because the benefactors were not on the… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 19 Dec 2007 9:00 AM. Permalink

All change please

Missing Vince Cable

The Telegraph is nostalgic for the Cable and his acting-leadership-ways already. Here's what they - speaking for us all - love about him, in order: Making coup jokes as he hands over the Mr LibDem crown Ballroom dancing with Alesha, once of Mis-Teeq Making Gord quake (but not in a… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 19 Dec 2007 8:57 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

The decorators have been in

BONG! The LibDems have a shiny new leader: all hail CleggHuhneMan! And more importantly these days, they have a shiny new homepage, featuring new leader without a tie. Gasp! Casual inclusiveness! BONG! Government proposes to cut tourist visas to three months from six for non-EU visitors, to prevent people "overstaying… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Dec 2007 5:56 PM. Permalink

Westmonster Deathmatches

Nick Clegg vs. iPhone

Westmonster now presents the first in what we hope will be a regular series we're calling "Westmonster Deathmatches." Today's deathmatch pits just-crowned LibDem leader Nick Clegg against Apple's iPhone. The results may shock and amaze you. Nick CleggiPhone… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 18 Dec 2007 2:54 PM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

CleggHuhneMan beats HuhneCleggMan

It wasn't just us who were confused by the apparent similarities between the two LibDem leadership candidates: the LibDems themselves could barely make up their mind. The Cultural Stereotyping Dept. has been warned but, really: LibDems who can't make up their minds? What next? Labour and dodgy property deals? Racist… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Dec 2007 2:40 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Vince Cable, it's over so soon

Today's the day the LibDems announce their leader! Acting leader Vince Cable (of "I'm off to watch Strictly Come Dancing" fame) will be making the announcement this afternoon. "Cameron-lite" (shudder) Clegg is slightly ahead, according to polls and bookies, and he's already got some reshuffling plans. This article in particular… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 18 Dec 2007 7:59 AM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

All bets are off

The YouGov poll in today's Sunday Times is one of those "all your bases are belong to us" moments for the Tories, indicating as it does that Dave has reached his target of 45% share (which would translate into a whopping 90+ seat majority), 13 points ahead of Labour. As… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 16 Dec 2007 11:10 AM. There are 3 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Basra, BoJo and Bilderberg (possibly)

Basra's been returned to the Iraqis, although British didn't keep the receipt so all it got was a credit note. Nick Clegg's already planning his team, while Chris Huhne is busy stamping out web fires by picking on bloggers. Tories try the "Brown is Scrooge" tack again, this time claiming… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 16 Dec 2007 11:00 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

World saved!

They've agreed a climate deal in Bali, but apparently only because America wants us to like them. Not really a solid basis for world salvation, is it? Chris Paul's been sent some rather nasty stuff about Chris Huhne, and he's printed it in full. This on the day when some… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 15 Dec 2007 11:16 AM. Permalink

Go on the Lib Dems!

Cleggers faffs, identifies "politics of fear"

The Telegraph interviews Nick Clegg over an almond croissant. Melissa Kite notes his love of the word "faff," calls him "a small but determined whirlwind" - unlike his predecessors! - and describes his possible effect on Davy Cammers:Mr Cameron may not be shaking in his boots quite yet - but… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 10 Dec 2007 9:22 AM. Permalink

Department for Kite Flying

Mail tries Teddygate for size

Simon Walters in the Mail is claiming that Blair Stalking Horse (TM) David Miliband tried to stop Muslim peers rescuing the teddy bear teacher from a Sudanese jail. Gist of the story is that the Foreign Office didn't want to rock the boat and argued she was getting out in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Dec 2007 11:45 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Airing dirty laundry in public

Perhaps one of the less bright ideas of the Conservatives was the debate yesterday on party funding as it gave the hitherto ignored questions ("they're just trying to smear us, you know," CCHQ had previously claimed, flouncily, when the words "Lord" and "Ashcroft" were put to them in any sort… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 8:51 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Edifying scenes and the smearing smear

BONG! The party funding debate is rumbling on in the House of Commons as we speak, and what follows is the summary thus far. Conservatives: Labour's corrupt and funded by smelly working class people ... uh ... unions, we meant the unions. Labour: at least we're not funded by Darth Ashcroft and… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 7:15 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Hypocrisy and Hyperbole

Chris Huhne's posturing over Donorgate looks even more hollow (after we pointed out yesterday that Chrissy's honour-bound to bankrupt the LibDems if he ever becomes leader of them) as it is revealed - again - that the Durham business park had nothing to do with getting the approval of the comrades… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 9:20 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

A message from Vince Cable

What me? Oh no, no, no. I'm just a backroom boy: I put a bit of stick about, I make 'em jump. There's plenty of young chaps - ambitious chaps, too - around who aspire to the leadership of our party. Best leave the serious campaigning to them. Of course, you might think… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 11:23 AM. Permalink

Westmonster: “Nick Clegg”