Shit Hits The Fan Dept.

Ken Livingstone's mysterious missing millions

Train-based alcohol ban aside, Boris Johnson has been keeping a remarkably low profile since his installation as Mayor of London a few weeks back. Theories have run rampant around the Westmonster office as to what he's been up to, and we managed to come up with two relatively convincing… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 7 Jun 2008 10:20 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Memories

All hail the mighty Bojo: election results in

Well Boys and Girls, it's official: London town is not the town it was just yesterday. News just in from Union Futures has shown that the virtues of Capitalism have once again vanquished the evils of Communism as Boris Johnson has officially managed to snatch the role of London Mayor… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 2 May 2008 11:41 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Bets Being Off

All signs point to Bojo..

Both Politicalbetting.com and the one of the FT blogs have reported that Paddypower, the Irish Book Makers, has already started paying out on Boris Johnson winning the Mayoral Election - despite the fact that votes haven't been officially counted yet. [This would be a good place to stick one of… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 2 May 2008 2:34 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Change

David Cameron is pleased with himself...

This time last week Westmonster claimed that the times were a-changin' and it appears that we're not the only ones who think so: After the mauling that his party inflicted on Labour yesterday David Cameron has stated in his usual buttery tones that the results stand as a 'big moment'… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 2 May 2008 12:53 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Labour hammered in local elections..

Research suggests that Labour were 'hammered' in the local elections, slipping to third place beneath both the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats. BBC. The Telegraph. The results for the London Mayoral Election will be revealed today. BBC. The Guardian. Tony Blair has made his first appearance on Time Magazine's list of… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 2 May 2008 7:29 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Complimentary Beverages

Gordon Brown votes in elections..

All reports show that Gordon Brown rose bright and early this morning in order to cast his votes for the both the local and mayoral elections. We're assuming that he ticked the boxes marked 'Labour', but there's always a chance that he confused himself again and scribbled his X next… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 1 May 2008 12:53 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Vote early and vote often...

Millions will vote today in the UK local elections. BBC. ePolitix. Londoners will also be voting in the Mayoral Election. ePolitix. It was revealed that a quarter of UK pupils will not get into their first choice primary school. The Times. The House of Lords has ruled that doctors trained… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 1 May 2008 7:49 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Cheapshots

Paddick's new campaign videos rattle some cages...

Days before the Mayoral Election and Brian Paddick has being causing a bit of a stir with a series of American style 'attack ads' aimed at his opponents. These two videos, which were originally posted over at the Lib Dem Voice blog, show Paddick's campaign taking a slightly smutty turn… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 30 Apr 2008 2:57 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Dunking

Tea and biscuits with Bojo...

As the build-up to tomorrow's London Mayoral Election campaigning reaches its coda candidates are doing everything that they can in the last minute dash to the finish line. Of course, in his usual pollyannaish manner, it is Boris Johnson that has found the most novel way of motivating his team… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 30 Apr 2008 9:49 AM. Permalink

All change please

Kate Hoey: media roundup

Controversy-a-go-go as we get closer to the London Mayoral Election: former sports minister Kate Hoey has accepted a post as 'part of Boris Johnson's team' should the bumbling Tory pip Ken to the post. Bizarrely she is claiming the move doesn't compromise her status as a Labour MP, and… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 29 Apr 2008 11:16 PM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac: Thames Edition

London Elections: empty register?

Hey. Do you live in London? Are you aged between 25-34? Are you registered to vote? Chances are that - among that particular target bracket - 27% percent of you will have either shaken your head miserably or yelled 'voting? I don't need to do that! What have those… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 29 Apr 2008 10:42 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Bleak Outlooks

Numbers: the times they are a-changin'

It's been a busy day for political numbers: Over at The Guardian they have a report on the latest opinion poll statistics concerning the London Mayoral Election. Surprisingly for some, perhaps most of all Ken Livingstone, they show that London's favourite anarchist has managed to overtake Boris Johnson and creep… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 25 Apr 2008 6:25 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Munchies

Boris Johnson is down with the kids...

Boris Johnson professed his love of da herb (marijuana) yesterday when asked whether he thinks it should be made legal for medicinal use. Perhaps that explains his famously whimsical sense of humour. As part of a question and answer session held by the Telegraph, Mr. Johnson got groovy when replying… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 25 Apr 2008 1:12 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Old Friends

New Livingstone, New Danger?

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, The Guardian today reveals that Ken Livingstone has been receiving campaign advice from none other than ex-pm Tony Blair and his spin doctor friend Alastair Campbell. The move comes at a time when we were secretly hoping… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 24 Apr 2008 1:41 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Dance Moves

Boris proposes to save London through music and drama

In a poignant speech made yesterday Boris Johnson showcased his vision for a better London and told of a secret dream that he harbours regarding the transformative powers of art. It was a dream for the future. A dream to inspire. Something so culturally mind-blowing that, generations from now, our… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 22 Apr 2008 10:51 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Incubation

Ken pledges to expand culture..

Perhaps riding on the confidence boost provided by the weekend's revelation that he was finally beating contender Boris Johson in the polls (45% against 44%), Ken Livingstone today launched into his manifesto for the upcoming election with a joie de vivre that has been seldom seen over the past few… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 21 Apr 2008 2:48 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Fair Play

Personality goes a long way..

It has to be said that a lot of people are getting worried about Boris Johnson. Ken Livingstone seems to be in a constant state of disappointment and anxiety these days, the left-wing media keeps flapping its wings in panic, and even that bug up Brian Paddick's boring ass… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 21 Apr 2008 11:33 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Last Chance Saloons

Red Ken wants another chance..

Ken Livingstone has taken an opportunity to inform readers of The Guardian why they should vote for him in the upcoming London Mayoral Election. As the first of the main candidates invited to use the paper as a forum, he writes a brief outline of his policies in comparison to… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 18 Apr 2008 10:16 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Mass Appeal

Bojo is the lighter at the end of the tunnel...

Smokers who are still finding life difficult after last year's smoking ban came to effect may have finally been offered a lighter at the end of the tunnel. But only if they live in London. Yesterday, Boris "The Deliverer" Johnson, Conservative hopeful for the May 1st mayoral election, came trotting… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 17 Apr 2008 11:18 AM. Permalink

Ministry of Divine Intervention

David Cameron denies taming Bojo..

Conservative Leader David Cameron has had to deny claims that he has been forced to 'tame' Boris Johnson, his party's candiadate in the race to become the next Major of London. On a BBC Radio 5 broadcast this morning he stated that attempting to tame a specimen such as Johnson… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 15 Apr 2008 4:07 PM. Permalink

Ministry of Cultural Hyperbole

Brown joins cast of Livingstone's List

Lucky Ken Livingstone has upped the stakes and added no less than hip and happening Gordon Brown to his VIP celebrity guest list. As reported on Ian Dale's Diary yesterday, Mr Livingstone has released an honour roll of celebrity supporters that reads like a who's who of C-list dregs and… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 15 Apr 2008 12:00 PM. Permalink

MINISTRY FOR DULL INVESTIGATION

Ken catches up but Bojo has more friends...

After looking at the latest batch of opinion polls, supporters of Ken Livingstone to win the London Mayoral Election are shaking in their sandals a little less than they were a few weeks ago. According to figures, discovered in a YouGov survey for the Evening Standard, Livingstone is gaining on… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 14 Apr 2008 4:52 PM. Permalink

Ministry for cheap shots

Conservatives provide new opportunities in broadcasting

Any would-be broadcasters out there may wish to know of an exciting job opportunity that is being offered over at the Conservative home website. In perhaps the most exciting development within the broadcasting industry since the invention of the radio, it appears that the call-to-arms on the page is seeking… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 11 Apr 2008 7:02 PM. Permalink

Ministry for low production values

Mayoral campaign videos online..

Boris Johnson, Ken Livingstone and Brian Paddick have all released their campaign videos on Youtube. Westmonster had a quick gander and discovered some interesting contrasts: Boris Johnson comes across as more Boris Karloff in his video. Shot in a rather sober black and white to show us the 'serious' side… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 9 Apr 2008 11:30 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Wednesday morning headlines

Gordon Brown denies accusations that he is avoiding a human rights row with China for economic reasons. BBC. Row breaks out between the BBC and the Internet ISP Tiscali over the bandwidth cost of the iPlayer online TV service. BBC. Tech.co.uk. House prices look set to become even more disparate… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 9 Apr 2008 7:34 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Media folly: Tuesday Morning roundup

Congratulations on making it through the whole of yesterday. Today's top stories seem to be shaping-up as follows: Everybody thinks Princess Diana was unlawfully killed, including William and Harry. Read The Telegraph's spin here. Paula Radcliffe claims that the heat and humidity of China will makes things hard for Olympic… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 8 Apr 2008 7:26 AM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac: Thames Edition

Boris Johnson's emails hacked, says Boris Johnson

No-one was expecting a good clean fight, but the London mayoral election race between Livingstone and BoJo appears to be stepping up the filth stakes. The Boris Johnson camp is claiming that their leader has been subject to computer hacking, and that some unscrupulous soul has been having a… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 6 Apr 2008 8:43 PM. There are 3 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Spoonfed politics: morning round-up

Mick Fealty wants the London dog to see the BoJo rabbit: Brassneck London Mayoral "on a knife-edge" - unfortunate turn of phrase from the Guardian Ken's knife-edge plan: raid the schools! This Is London Cammers likes his women to look a certain way: Telegraph El Gordo's latest mainstream election wheeze:… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Apr 2008 8:23 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Who needs bloggers?

Westmonster's morning media round-up Subs succumb to "wounded Harman" headlines: Guardian Is Crosby keeping BoJo away from the great unwashed? Guardian PLP mutterings over abolition of 10% tax rate: Guardian NUTters are back, and this time they're talking strikes: Guardian, Times 'Er indoors causing problems for Martin: Guardian, Telegraph, Times… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 2 Apr 2008 8:34 AM. Permalink

All change please

Ken's outbreak of truthiness

Gordon Brown and Ken Livingstone have more in common than we might have thought.....… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Apr 2008 10:08 AM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac: Thames Edition

David Cameron Supports Boris Johnson; No-one Surprised

Tory leader David Cameron has put his full backing behind prospective London mayor Boris Johnson, referring to the bumbling Biggles fan as ''exactly the kind of leader the capital needs''. Elaborating on things, D-Cam turned up to Boris's Edmonton campaign launch and reeled off more of his tribute: "I don't… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 31 Mar 2008 11:22 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

BoJo attends Street-Porter fiasco

Janet Street-Porter, aka Britain's Most Useless Human Being, has interviewed BoJo this week, and the only good thing about it is the photo: You said in interviews that you've snorted coke. Well, that was when I was 19. It all goes to show that, sometimes, it's better not to say… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 31 Mar 2008 9:53 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Times hearts Boris

We suspected the Times had fallen for BoJo, but we didn't know how far and how hard: Mr Brown revealed yesterday that he plans a trip to the US as the fight for London reaches a climax next month. David Cameron has chosen to appear alongside Boris Johnson when the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 27 Mar 2008 7:59 AM. Permalink

All change please

ConservativeHome: Boris now 12% ahead

ConservativeHome have a new YouGov survey from the Stannah showing Boris Johnson is now 12% ahead. We think they mean "12 percentage points" but you get the idea. BoJo ahead in second-preference voting, too. The suburbs are making themselves heard once more, it appears. We should also point out that… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Mar 2008 11:30 AM. Permalink

All change please

Too techy for voters?

The Oystercard - one of the transport innovations that Ken is using to bash BoJo around with - has been hacked. Well, kinda sorta. A bunch of boffins in a lab have figured out a way it could be hacked, and these days that's normally enough. So will BoJo make… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Mar 2008 5:21 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

BBC gets coy

Some rather coy coverage from the Beeb about an arrest in the City Hall fraud inquiry: One man has been arrested and three homes have been raided by police investigating the fraud allegations surrounding a former aide to the mayor. The Metropolitan Police (Met) said it had searched homes in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Mar 2008 3:00 PM. Permalink

All change please

I'll get you, Butler

Boris Johnson has gone postal on Transport for London this morning, accusing them of all sorts of chicanery and political bias. Their heinous crime? Supplying guardian.co.uk with some statistics which make something of a mockery of Johnson's estimates for the costs of putting conductors on a fleet of Routemasters which… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Mar 2008 8:55 AM. Permalink

All change please

Why quit?

So, the Boris Standard has done for Jasper. Jasper has resigned, but he and his correspondent have said this: Today both Mr Jasper, 49, a married father of nine, and Mrs Chouhan denied any impropriety. She said the emails were "banter" and that they had not been sexually involved. So… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Mar 2008 8:39 PM. Permalink

All change please

Could he? Could he really?

Westmonster has always believed that some people will never be elected leader of anything, while some people have it apparent in their DNA. Neil Kinnock was never going to be Prime Minister. Tony Blair always was. John Kerry was never going to be President. And Ken Livingstone was always going… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 27 Feb 2008 7:54 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Out on the Stump

Guppy and cock-ups

Boris Johnson's crime proposals have some serious stuff in them, of course, but you don't want to hear about that, do you? You want to hear about Boris mucking up the running order at his launch (and referring to David Davis as The Home Secretary). You also want to hear… read more…

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Westmonster: “London Mayoral Election 08”