Ministry for Fair Play

New army hospital plans unveiled...

Defence Under Secretary Dereck Twigg is getting ready to unveil plans for a new military hospital ward for injured soldiers. If the plans are to go ahead, the Birmingham New Hospital, part of the University Hospital Birmingham NHS Foundation Trust, which manages the city's Selly Oak Hospital where the Royal… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 4 Jul 2008 2:06 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

10 reasons to start worrying...

Boris Johnson has been forced to launch an investigation into the inappropriate dealings of his deputy mayor, Ray Lewis. The Guardian. A report by Ernst & Young suggests that the average UK household is 15% worse of than five years ago. BBC. The British economy could be falling into an… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 4 Jul 2008 8:13 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Tesco goes political...

Tesco has stated that it is to stop sourcing products from Zimbabwe, due to the political crisis. BBC. Gordon Brown's 'once-in-a-generation' reform plans will make the NHS one of the best health systems in the world. ePolitix. Four Iraqi men are planning to sue U.S. military contractors after being tortured… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 1 Jul 2008 8:35 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

UK tourists most popular in Europe...

A German newspaper has printed a guide on how to avoid British tourists when travelling abroad. BBC. Private firms could be called in to help a failing NHS if new plans unveiled today prove fruitful. BBC. MPs have warned that something called 'crash-for-cash' insurance fraud is on the rise. ePolitix.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 4 Jun 2008 7:57 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Labour Party worried about lack of Scots...

Labour are starting to panic about the dearth of Scottish ministers in their party. ePolitix. Gordon Brown is still convinced that 42 is the magic number when it comes to all things terrorist detention. BBC. One of David Cameron's key campaign advisers has decided to emigrate to California. ePolitix. Australian… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 2 Jun 2008 7:51 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Deliverance

Holy Blair comes out the closet...

Tony Blair came out of the holy closet today by revealing that his new purpose in life is to breed understanding between the world's religions. With a manic gleam in his unblinking eyes, he told the interviewers at Time Magazine that Christianity had long been a part of his life,… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 30 May 2008 1:20 PM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Apathy

Out of sight, Out of mind...

It's often claimed that the government doesn't really give a damn. Sure, it might act like it does and present a specious image of caring for the public, looking out for the nation's best interests, trying to spread ideas of equality, but if you stop to look at the bigger… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 27 May 2008 12:16 PM. Permalink

Ministry for International Relations

Bush apologises for Koran target practice...

We've said it before and we'll say it again: it can't be easy being George Walker Bush. This time the life of the American President takes an onerous turn after it was revealed that a U.S. soldier in Iraq was found to be using the Koran as a tool for… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 21 May 2008 8:27 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Life on Mars

Bush gives up golf for Iraq

Famously inarticulate cowboy/President of the United States, George W. Bush, has shown the world his more sensitive side in an interview with Yahoo! and Politico.com. Focusing on the Texan's thoughts before he stands down from office next year, the interview reveals President Bush's reflections on some of the things that… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 14 May 2008 11:10 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Still hope for Labour...

It has been said that Labour 'can still win the next election'. The Guardian. The NHS has claimed that the public are in favour of the government's proposed 'polyclinic' scheme. The Guardian. New rules regarding the number of skilled migrants allowed to work in the UK are to be announced… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 6 May 2008 7:47 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

MoD shot in the wallet..

The Ministry of Defence has confirmed that it is to pay £2m to an Iraqi teenager accidentally shot by a British Soldier. BBC. The Guardian. The Times. House prices fall at the fastest rate since 1978. The Guardian. Oil prices have reached a new high of $112.48 per barrel. BBC.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 15 Apr 2008 7:51 AM. Permalink

War! What is it good for?

War will end 'one day', says Bush

With George Bush having stepped up his criticism of Iran - now explicitly linking them to Al-Qaeda - you'd be forgiven for thinking that the War On Terror will still be ongoing in five thousand years time, when galactic emperor Xrysyx rules the Earth and George Galloway is still… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 11 Apr 2008 6:31 PM. Permalink

War! What is it good for?

Official: not equipping soldiers may be bad move

It's always frustrating when you lack the necessary tools to do your job - a faulty computer giving you nothing but stress, for example, or a broken coffee machine creating lines of angry customers in your once-quiet cafe. Transport that principle from the workplace to the battlefield, though, and… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 11 Apr 2008 6:06 PM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

US failing in Iraq, claims most obvious report ever

It isn't difficult to surprise someone. Simply pop a balloon behind their head, or leap out at them from a darkened room, or tell them that you just ate a Pot Noodle and consider it one of the most delicious things you've ever tasted. Although that last one might… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 6 Apr 2008 8:14 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Morning media zoo

A round-up of the barking, the pompous and the out-of-date. - Andrew Gimson says El Gordo is turning into El Neville - Simon Hoggart can't resist making the same reference - Waste-of-space Sunder Katwala reckons he's convinced El Gordo to have an Iraq inquiry. Riiiiight. - Government missing carbon targets,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Mar 2008 8:07 AM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac

Few punches, no knockouts

Westmonster stayed up well into the night, shouting for blood like a Roman at the Colisseum, in anticipation of last night's debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. We had our popcorn ready, and we were looking for some smackdown. Next time, we'll set Sky Plus. For those who would… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 1 Feb 2008 3:10 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Road Rage

The traffic's a bitch in Baghdad

At Westmonster, we're not exactly known for keeping our cool behind the wheel — we spout our share of expletives and even engage in the occasional drag race. Hey, what can we say? The traffic in London gets us down. But in Baghdad, some have resorted to more extreme measures.… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 11 Jan 2008 10:08 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

The Gord: He giveth and he taketh away

The PM paid a surprise visit to Basra yesterday. He's giving the province back to the Iraqis. In time for Christmas!However, he seems to have stolen Christmas from pensioners, says the Daily Mail. And he might also be planning to take binge drinking away from us too. Want to know… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 10 Dec 2007 8:42 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Morning roundup: UGH edition

Westmonster is ill. Very ill. Not going into details but needless to say that as soon as she's done this belated roundup, she's hot-footing it down the quack. Remember me in your prayers. David Abrahams is still flouncing around, roaring that he'll like, TOTALLY put all his cards on… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 9:44 AM. Permalink

Department for Expanding the British Museum

Is this a coup?

Ben Brogan certainly thinks so. No sooner had the Gord left for Uganda than a selection of military gentlemen with startling sounding names like Lord Humphrey-Montmorency III start popping up on the Today Programme to declare martial law outline their concerns at Government policy in Iraq. Apparently, the fact that Defence… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 23 Nov 2007 10:42 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

Remembrance Sunday roundup

BONG! Old sins cast long shadows: the Spectator Coffeehouse on the past of recently rehabilitated Jonathan Aitken. BONG! An ICM poll sees the Conservatives up three at 43, the LibDems down three at 15, and the comrades flatlining on 35. Apparently these figures would just about give the Tories a majority… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Nov 2007 6:12 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Things We'd Like To Know

Don't ask us, we're just the security services

Former head of MI6 Sir Richard Dearlove reckons that the Government were, like, reeeally stupid to take on board information from the security services when they took the decision to go into Iraq. Sorry, is there something we've missed here?… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Nov 2007 3:18 PM. Permalink

Don't Look Ethel!

Good interventions, bad interventions

Quiet, isn't it? Now that PMQs is done with, Gord's week from hell is all over bar the shouting and the hacks have repaired to the boozer bustled off to write their analyses. Even the Tories seem to have jibbed it. It's Opposition Day and they've chosen motions on not… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Oct 2007 3:33 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Statesmanship a la mode

Great stuff from Dave yesterday in the Iraq statement. Dave berated the Gord for how he was "dealing with people's lives and the families of our brave servicemen. How dare he play politics with our armed forces? The Conservatives wouldn't do that! Vote for us to support our boys!" Stirringly… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Oct 2007 7:39 AM. Permalink

Behind the Terrace curtain

How was he for you?

Well, the Gord's managed to get through two of the three horror-events he's got planned today without suffering a major mishap. The policy he adopted at his press conference of talking expansively about his "vision" every time somebody asked a question that may have been within the same postcode as… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 8 Oct 2007 5:01 PM. Permalink

Department for Expanding the British Museum

The anti-war brigade are revolting!

Much drama at Westminster as the anti-war march has stalled at the corner of Whitehall, where they have spent the last forty minutes chanting "Gord On Brown Ter Or Rist!", alongside demands to whip the troops out now, and a combination of the two to the tune of Yellow Submarine.To… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 8 Oct 2007 3:12 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Brown's day from hell

If you think your Monday's bad, check out Brown's diary: he'll get a hard time at the Downing Street press conference this morning, suffer heckles as he makes his Iraq statement (again, but in the Chamber this time), and finish off with addressing several hundred belligerent Labour MPs in the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 8 Oct 2007 7:12 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

Exclusive: Cameron is Rasputin's love child

This time last week a YouGov poll for the Telegraph had the comrades maintaining their 11 point lead over the shiny faced boy wonder (pictured here with a cute puppy. Awwww!), whilst the Times Populus poll had him slipping five percentage points in the aftermath of the Gord's address to Conference. He… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Oct 2007 11:30 AM. Permalink

Department for Expanding the British Museum

Er, quick! Mention the war!

Well, it looks like the Boy George, with his Oxford Union Debating Society stylings, has sent the Gord off to Baghdad. Nothing like reminding the anti-war middle classes to whom Osborne was appealing yesterday that one of the most resented decisions of the previous PM (Tony something, wasn't it?) is… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 2 Oct 2007 10:30 AM. Permalink

Department for Expanding the British Museum

Shock episode of Newsnight!

News reaches Westmonster that the Fabian Society in association with Newsnight will be hosting a special debate at Labour Party Conference set to be broadcast next Tuesday on...have a guess...go on...yup: Iraq. Quelle surprise. The troops may be pulling out, but the Beeb offensive goes on.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Sep 2007 2:09 PM. Permalink

Westmonster: “Iraq”