Ministry for Whip Cracking

New immigration points system unleashed...

The government has announced new guidelines for a points-based immigration system, which it claims will make things fairer for British citizens as they seek employment. It is also claimed that the move will ensure that only those with skills needed in Britain are entitled to work in the UK by… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 6 May 2008 1:28 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Still hope for Labour...

It has been said that Labour 'can still win the next election'. The Guardian. The NHS has claimed that the public are in favour of the government's proposed 'polyclinic' scheme. The Guardian. New rules regarding the number of skilled migrants allowed to work in the UK are to be announced… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 6 May 2008 7:47 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Gordon Brown feels your pain...

Gordon Brown feels your pain. The Guardian. New York's mayor, Michael Bloomberg, is to visit Boris Johnson on Friday to give him some mayoral advice. The Guardian. Tony Blair has paid £4m for the former home of the actor Sir John Gielgud. The Guardian. The government has plans to open… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 5 May 2008 7:55 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Social Intrusion

Government asks supermarkets to spy on migrants..

In a move that sounds like the plot of a bad movie, The Telegraph has reported that the government wants councils to start spying on migrants in supermarkets. It all seems like some lo-fi Orwellian nightmare but is ostensibly based in fact. It all revolves around supermarkets such as Tesco,… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 23 Apr 2008 12:41 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

UK welfare to go NYC

The UK welfare programme may be about to take some inspiration from NYC. The Guardian. If nobody has heard about it, the US economy seems to be having a few problems. BBC. Harriet Harman, Leader of The Commons, will not be investigated by police after failing to declare a monetary… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 17 Apr 2008 7:46 AM. Permalink

Department for Diffrunt People

The ghost of Enoch

Newsnight is doing a major series on the "white working class", which is presumably going to say some interesting stuff about the decline of manufacturing and the generational skills gap. Presumably. Not that you'd know it from the BBC's website, which just seems determined to point out that white working… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Mar 2008 9:10 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Dave and the "i" word

You knew it was coming. And here it is. The Tory ad campaign that features immigration controls at its heart: Let's hope it goes better than last time they tried this...… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Feb 2008 8:40 AM. Permalink

Department for Diffrunt People

The millionth Polish builder cometh

Got some bad numbers? No problem. Bury them in some good ones! Liam Byrne (whom Austin Mitchell yesterday accused of shafting our Anzac wartime allies) plays a blinder with the release of some 2007 immigration numbers today. There are 20 paragraphs in the Home Office release. The first 15 are… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 26 Feb 2008 2:47 PM. Permalink

Department for Diffrunt People

Turner turns

Immigration = unalloyed economic good, right? Wrong, says Adair Turner: In a paper entitled Do We Need More Immigrants And Babies?, he rejects arguments that without immigrants Britain would face a shortage of workers as mostly "economically illiterate". A stable population is more favourable to well-being, he says. Of course,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Feb 2008 9:22 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Immigration for grown-ups

The Government doesn't know. The Daily Mail doesn't know. The Local Government Association doesn't know. Even London's taxi drivers don't know. So what exactly is going on with immigration in Britain? Well, the Barrow Cadbury Trust have had a stab at investigating. The report contains the memorable phrase "Britain's diversity… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 24 Dec 2007 11:39 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

The decorators have been in

BONG! The LibDems have a shiny new leader: all hail CleggHuhneMan! And more importantly these days, they have a shiny new homepage, featuring new leader without a tie. Gasp! Casual inclusiveness! BONG! Government proposes to cut tourist visas to three months from six for non-EU visitors, to prevent people "overstaying… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Dec 2007 5:56 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

We've sent the discs to Kosovo

BONG! Darling's reassured us about data loss, saying none of the 25 trillion entries has fallen into the wrong hands. He didn't make clear how he could know that. Did he nick it himself? BONG! Britain is sending "80 policemen and judicial officials" to Kosovo. Is that the 21st century… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Dec 2007 6:12 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Mail: Lady voters heart Davy

"Women voters have ended their ten-year love affair with Labour and are switching to the Tories." The Daily Mail, as ever, has the inside track on what's going through the ladies' minds. Apparently, it's this: "What does approval rating mean?" Because the article explains it. Also, children think Cammers is… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 17 Dec 2007 8:35 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Blaming Everything On Immigration

More babies: Bad for Britain?

SocietyGuardian reports today that fertility rates in Britain have rebounded, up in 2006 to 1.84 from an all-time low of 1.63 in 2001. On information included in the report that 21% of UK births in 2006 were to women born outside the UK (read: possible immigrants), shadow home secretary David… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 12 Dec 2007 11:21 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Local Policies for Local People

Lost in translation

News comes via The Guardian of the Government's new approach to getting immigrants to integrate: Tell councils and agencies to stop translating official forms and documents, and they'll magically learn English. Hooray! Problem solved!… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 7 Dec 2007 3:41 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

The Broon mirage?

The vultures continue to circle over the Gord, and this time they're carrying economic statistics!. Gulp. Northern Rock hasn't gone away: a second bidder has pulled out of the process. David Abrahams plays the "is it 'cos I is black?" card and threatens dark happenings if he keeps getting kneed… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Dec 2007 8:32 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Black Wednesday

Predictably, the Affair of the Missing Disks is the top story this morning, although the Today Programme seems to be getting unusually excited about a prehistoric crab. Humphrys must be having one of his hot flushes again. Ann Treneman reports on the Parliamentary response to the data-loss news, the Telegraph… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Nov 2007 8:07 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

In which bollocks were - comprehensively - dropped

Is being leader of the Opposition easy, we were asking last night in the pub? Yeah, we all know that being an MP is bloody hard work if you do it properly, and the higher you get, the more demands there are on you. So how has Davy Cameron made… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Nov 2007 10:02 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 14/11/07

The first PMQs of the 2007/08 session saw the Gord do what he does best: dig in his heels and refuse to budge. Oh, Davy danced around, aiming punches over when he knew about the Jacqui Smith Immigrant Shame, but he resolutely refused to answer. We were also treated to the sight… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Nov 2007 11:41 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry of Love

The Gord calls time on chaos

The Gord is set to deflect attention from the woes of Jacqui and assorted immigration traumas by getting all tough on terror. Yup, straight after PMQs he's going to announce the conclusions of two major security reviews which - one presumes - will have the rather welcome side-effect of putting the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Nov 2007 10:25 AM. Permalink

Department for the Tyburn Jig

Here we go again!

The mystery of the missing immigrants is inadvertently solved by the Home Office. Jacqui Smith's billed to appear before the House at 3.30pm today to make a statement.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Nov 2007 10:53 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Deep Throats in the Treasury (hur hur!)

Fair Deal Phil reports on how a senior Tory has admitted that they have a mole in the Treasury. Say it ain't so! The wonderful, impartial civil servants (who are only out to pursue the common good, against the wishes of those eeeevil politicians) that the likes of Tom Bower… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Nov 2007 8:40 AM. Permalink

Department of Advance Early Warning

Queen's Speech Live @ 11.30. Or thereabouts.

It's all happening in here, people. Is it going to be a speech that recaptures the initiative for the PM, or a widely-trailed damp squib? How much will it be affected by the immigration shenanigans of recent weeks and what impact will this debate have on Brown's housing policies? Will the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Nov 2007 10:11 AM. Permalink

Department of Kite Flying

The Gord: real fame at last!

Gooood afternoon folks, it's time for the weekly round-up of the Sunday papers and let's start with some excellent news. Yup, negotiations are underway for the Gord is to appear in his very own episode of the Simpsons, and the Independent on Sunday has got its mitts on a leaked a… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Nov 2007 12:26 PM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

Of Kings and knaves

Parliament went into prorogation on Tuesday, but that didn't mean it wasn't a week packed full of uproar beginning on Monday with the visit of King Abdullah and concluding when the verdict of the de Menezes shooting came in on Thursday and the backlash against Ian Blair started in earnest.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Nov 2007 12:25 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Back to the Future: Blair to go?

BONG! The Metropolitan Police have been found guilty over the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes in July 2005. As appalling as the entire tragedy was, Westmonster nevertheless felt a twinge of nostalgia at a subject line in an email from Gallery News: "I won't resign, says Blair." Oh, and more than… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Nov 2007 6:08 PM. Permalink

Ministry For Assigning Blame

Trouble in Slough

Those whom the Gord doesn't like very much die young. Either that or get the immigration brief. One of the two. Poor ol' Hazel Blears has been on the wrong end of a skewering today from Humphrys over the cost of immigration to local councils, related to the fact that in Slough… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Nov 2007 4:24 PM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Immigration: who ya gonna call?

David Cameron's plan to turn Britain into a slightly larger version of Royston Vasey continues apace with the news that he proposes to cap immigration, and station angry locals on the white cliffs of Dover to dissuade any of dem forrun people from besmirching England's green and pleasant land with… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 29 Oct 2007 3:10 PM. Permalink

Westmonster: “Immigration”