Ministry for Crime Fighting

Superheroes fight for fathers' rights...

Comic book fans are anxious to discover if reports that Spiderman and Batman have joined forces by climbing on to the roof of home secretary Harriet Harman to fight for fathers' rights are true. If correct, it will be the second time this year that the two superheroes have made… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 9 Jul 2008 1:27 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Bets Being Off

White guys finish last...

Home secretary Harriet Harman has announced controversial new plans that require companies to favour ethnic minorities and women when it comes to taking on new employees. The new Equalities Bill will also seek to stop pensioners being witheld NHS treatment because of their age and allow mothers to breastfeed their… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 26 Jun 2008 12:17 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Profligates

Expense details to be revealed tomorrow (sort of)...

According Harriet Harman, the 14 dirty MPs that tried to keep their expense details secret will get their comeuppance sometime tomorrow. Unfortunately, it appears that some of the juicier details of how the public funds were spent will remain undisclosed. Although Harman has stated that the addresses of the MPs… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 22 May 2008 3:05 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

UK welfare to go NYC

The UK welfare programme may be about to take some inspiration from NYC. The Guardian. If nobody has heard about it, the US economy seems to be having a few problems. BBC. Harriet Harman, Leader of The Commons, will not be investigated by police after failing to declare a monetary… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 17 Apr 2008 7:46 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Spoonfed politics: morning round-up

Mick Fealty wants the London dog to see the BoJo rabbit: Brassneck London Mayoral "on a knife-edge" - unfortunate turn of phrase from the Guardian Ken's knife-edge plan: raid the schools! This Is London Cammers likes his women to look a certain way: Telegraph El Gordo's latest mainstream election wheeze:… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Apr 2008 8:23 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Who needs bloggers?

Westmonster's morning media round-up Subs succumb to "wounded Harman" headlines: Guardian Is Crosby keeping BoJo away from the great unwashed? Guardian PLP mutterings over abolition of 10% tax rate: Guardian NUTters are back, and this time they're talking strikes: Guardian, Times 'Er indoors causing problems for Martin: Guardian, Telegraph, Times… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 2 Apr 2008 8:34 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 5/12/07

So, what did we think? Again, Westmonster feels that Cameron was competent enough, but banging on about the chairmanship of a Committee stopped short of winning the They Talk About Nothing Else On The Streets of Rotherham Award. Possibly he was wary of dragging the Donorgate thing out any longer… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 11:40 AM. Permalink

Our Friends North of the Border

Torches and pitchforks at the ready

In case you've been living under a rock (or reading London Lite) for the past couple of days, you won't have failed to notice that there's a baying mob outside the front door of ol' Wendy Alexander. Will she go? Maybe. The Tories want her out certainly as it's quite… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 3:27 PM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Boy David: "la la la la! I can't hear you!"

"There will be nothing to stop us this time," muttered Darth Ashcroft as he ordered his minions (aka Davy Cameron and chums) to put in for a topical debate on party funding today. The Gord's down on his luck, the media's saturated with Opposition politicians being sanctimonious all over us,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 10:11 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

It's Bean a Long Week

Another Saturday, another roundup, but we're getting a bit fed up of beginning these with "another grim week for the Gord," so until otherwise stated, just take that one as read, folks. Monday dawned with another attempt on the part of the comrades to "relaunch," this time though a speech… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Dec 2007 12:55 PM. There are 6 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Oh Gord, we're in trouble now

The Dodgy Donor Row is getting unseemly, and somewhat complicated so let's try and do this in some sort of chronological/logical order: Peter Hain's checked his wallet and - who'da thunk it? - nestled between a receipt for Mama Amalfi and one for some extra potent bronzing lotion was one that said,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 30 Nov 2007 8:59 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Brief roundup (Westmonster running late)

BONG! Harriet Harman's still standing after her run-in with Theresa May in Business Questions. Harriet insists she "acted in good faith" and that she would not be, uh, blown down by Ms May. Nurse! The blood pressure tablets. BONG! Another day, another crisis: this time it's Leeds Court. Where tomorrow,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 29 Nov 2007 5:45 PM. Permalink

Ministry For Finger Pointing

Girls Gone Wild!

Such was the excitement at the scheduled smackdown between Harriet Harman and Theresa May at the Business statement, that here at Westmonster Towers the Colleague consented to turn over from Jeremy Kyle to watch it. The hand of history was briefly on our shoulders. Frivolous frippery first: Theresa May has… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 29 Nov 2007 12:56 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Madness

A messy Business (statement)

The language our friends in the meedja like to use to create the mood is always a joy. People never express "mild irritation" or "indifference," it's always "FURY!" and likewise, nobody is ever "questioned," they are "grilled." The Gord may well want to grill Harriet Harman (preferably slowly, over a… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 29 Nov 2007 11:00 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

The pitfalls of a democratic system

BONG! The Spectator CoffeeHouse and the new Telegraph blog, Three Line Whip, agree that the Gord can't sack Harman even if he wanted to as she was democratically elected by the membership, and it would be up to them to decide whether to remove her. As deputy leader, the Labour… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 5:27 PM. There are 4 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 28/11/07

Iain Dale reckons that Cameron slam-dunked it, but here at Westmonster we're not so sure. Yeah, okay so Davy managed a few jibes about Brown's trustworthiness but really, any child with an above room temperature IQ could have managed that today. Maybe he's worried about some hitherto undiscovered logs in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 11:41 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

David Abrahams has murdered sleep ...

Sorry this is late; Westmonster's got a problem in her ... Actually, no. You don't want to know. Harriet Harman clings on to power after it is revealed that she accepted £5,000 through an intermediary of David Abrahams. But for how long? Last night, and using no lesser mortal divinity… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 10:12 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Taking bets on who'll do the Business Statement

BONG! Okay, so seriously - what tomorrow: a plague of locusts perhaps? Warts and boils? The Gord's troubles are truly Biblical, and the latest one is slowly but definitely settling around the actions of Harriet Harman (wife of the Labour Party Treasurer) who stands accused of breaching electoral law by… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 27 Nov 2007 6:02 PM. Permalink

Ministry For Feral Media

The Press Conference Massacre

Well, the Gord came roaring out of the sidings, running over the body of former General Secretary Peter Watt (RIP) in the process. Heh: greater love hath no man man than this, that a man lay down his career for his superiors and take the negative briefing from "senior Labour sources"… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 27 Nov 2007 1:44 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

CBI speeches: the battle continues

In (another) attempt to Recapture The Political Initiative, the Gord is using his speech to the CBI to set out his long-term agenda on climate change, economic stability, and ... oh come on, you know the words to this one - sing along! Davy Cameron's predicted to hit back in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 26 Nov 2007 10:25 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 21/11/07

Well, it wasn't the unmitigated disaster for the Gord that it could have been: Brown highlighted a review that Would Solve Everyone's Problems, Cameron (who was a little off-form) hammered his questions out all in one go and raised the viability of ID cards in the wake of the fiasco,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Nov 2007 11:04 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 14/11/07

The first PMQs of the 2007/08 session saw the Gord do what he does best: dig in his heels and refuse to budge. Oh, Davy danced around, aiming punches over when he knew about the Jacqui Smith Immigrant Shame, but he resolutely refused to answer. We were also treated to the sight… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Nov 2007 11:41 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Gawd Bless Yer Ma'am

LIVE! Queen's Speech, 6/11/07

Well done Her Majesty! Didn't she read the list of legislation beautifully? Amongst everything else there will be legislation on the EU Reform Treaty, a Bill to keep da yoof in education, various stuff on climate change, reforms of the criminal justice system, a new Homes and Communities Agency is… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Nov 2007 11:58 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

A wee problem

BONG! And the big news that's moistening up the Telegraph team is the announcement that Davy wants to declare Scotland part of the Axis of Evil. We're shaky on the details but we're guessing that it's a firm policy proposal to deal with these Scottish people who are taking our money,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Oct 2007 5:35 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Signing sanity away

BONG! In the wake of the Gord signing up to the EU Treaty, opinion on the blogosphere is divided. Grimmer up North is irritated that the promise of a referendum was a manifesto promise as opposed to an actual commitment, whilst Mike Ion reckons not. BONG! The Norfolk Blogger on the ITV phone-in scandal. We… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Oct 2007 6:20 PM. Permalink

Ministry for the Salted Rim

Lunching well with Harriet. Or Tessa? Whatever.

Westmonster takes for granted that the press lunch with Harriet "I Am A Woman" Harman was a good one, and that el vino did flow. A descent of the alcoholic mist would certainly explain why one of the write-ups of the issues discussed at this banquet contained a picture of… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Oct 2007 3:53 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE! PMQs for 17/10/07

Westmonster provides live coverage of Prime Minister's Questions every Wednesday at Midday, when the House is in session. Below is the coverage of Prime Minister's Questions for 17 November 2007. 11:57 AM: Here we go again folks, and the Ministers responsible for the Department for Handing Out Lots of Money… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Oct 2007 11:57 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Administrative Affairs

Slaughter of the Innocents

Week two of the autumn term, and already it feels like we've been back forever. All the excitement of a full sitting week is detailed below. Oral PQs Monday - Home Office Tuesday - Scotland; Communities and Local Government Wednesday - International Development; Prime Minister Thursday - Treasury Important stuff… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Oct 2007 10:06 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

...and the Tories are back in town!

The story so far: A good week in the polls for Labour after their Conference ratcheted up speculation on a snap election, to the point that everyone just assumed it was going to happen. Gorgeous, brooding Gordon Brown - ably assisted by his brilliant coterie of young advisors - was… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Oct 2007 10:14 AM. Permalink

Behind the Terrace curtain

CSI: Westminster

Who is the mysterious MP who thinks that bag-carriers should know their place? On yesterday's edition of Today in Parliament, a male voice can clearly be heard disparaging staffers who are exercised about Queuegate, following a statement of solidarity from Brother Harriet in Leaders' Questions. Listen to TIP here; the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 12 Oct 2007 2:52 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Madness

Harriet drops a bollock. So to speak.

Oooh, he's not going to like this much! On last night's Question Time Harriet Harman announced that she disapproved of the way Prime Ministers "simply choose and swish up to Buckingham Palace and get the Queen to decide on a general election." Nice timing, Harriet. One can only assume that… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 12 Oct 2007 2:29 PM. Permalink

Don't Look Ethel!

A national institution

Want to know what hell looks like? A sneak preview can be seen tonight on BBC1 at 10.35pm when the Beeb's favourite bumbler chairs Question Time featuring Harriet Harman, Caroline Spelman, Simon Hughes, and former Sun editor Kelvin Mackenzie. Stabbing yourself repeatedly in the eye whilst members of the audience… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Oct 2007 12:51 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Administrative Affairs

Back 2 Skool

Whilst the kids have been back at their various educational institutions for a month, our Members of Parliament will return from their summer holidays tomorrow. Yes. The middle of October. This week's business can be seen in full here. Oral PQs Monday - Work and Pensions; Leader of the House… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Oct 2007 10:25 AM. Permalink

News From The Big Tent

LIVE: Gordon Speaks

Westmonster provided live coverage of Gordon Brown's speech to the Labour Party Conference. The transcript appears below: 2:14 PM: A minute to go by Westmonster's reckoning until Gord makes his triumphant entrance into the Conference Hall. Everybody is clustered around TV screens, waiting, and trying not to be bored by… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 24 Sep 2007 2:00 PM. Permalink

News From The Big Tent

Question and Answer Insania

The assembled masses who had battled with the hangover to attend the Question and Answer session with Hazel Blears, Harriet "I Am A Woman" Harman, and James Purnell were treated to a debacle that would have had David Dimbleby wincing. For starters, whether Keith Vaz, who was chairing the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 24 Sep 2007 1:01 PM. Permalink

Westmonster: “Harriet Harman”