Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Brown's imperial treasury eyed by Osborne...

George Osborne, the Conservative shadow chancellor, has announced plans to shrink Gordon Brown's imperial treasury. The Telegraph. UN officials have been given rare access to North Korea's countryside so that they can assess the severity of the country's food shortage. BBC. Refugee Week kicked off yesterday, though most people seem… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 17 Jun 2008 8:09 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

MoD shot in the wallet..

The Ministry of Defence has confirmed that it is to pay £2m to an Iraqi teenager accidentally shot by a British Soldier. BBC. The Guardian. The Times. House prices fall at the fastest rate since 1978. The Guardian. Oil prices have reached a new high of $112.48 per barrel. BBC.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 15 Apr 2008 7:51 AM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Tories blame PM for economic disaster

Anyone keeping an eye on the financial news will be aware that - in the wake of the ever-increasing grip of the Credit Crunch - the International Monetary Fund has sheepishly admitted that they should maybe have paid heed to the warning signs a tiny bit earlier. The Conservatives,… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 11 Apr 2008 5:43 PM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

George Osborne = Hypnotoad

Our undying thanks to Bloggerheads for this latest outbreak of "what the Internet was invented for":… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Mar 2008 4:06 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Has Lansley knackered Osborne?

The Tories are still in a mess over Andrew Lansley's unagreed hospital pass on spending yesterday, with George Osborne talking cuts in other places, explicitly, for the first time: In a speech yesterday the Shadow Chancellor confirmed that health increases would be funded by cuts elsewhere but said that the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 29 Feb 2008 8:15 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Heffer: Tories 'stupid party'

Simon Heffer's sure in a huff. In today's Telegraph, Heffer points the finger squarely at David Cameron and George Osborne for failing to bury Labour in light of Northern Rock, and months of "sleaze, failure, and prevarication" from the government: "Being an opposition is not just about pointing the finger.… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 20 Feb 2008 9:47 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Pissing In The Wind

Tories cynical on Rock

Memo to Dave, George, and friends: when you've made considerable hay out of tarring the government with the brush of transparent political cynicism, it's a good idea to steer clear yourselves of transparently cynical political grandstanding. Oops! Too late. Tempted though Alistair Darling may have been to rise to the… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 18 Feb 2008 1:05 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Life on Mars

Sailors fighting in the dance hall

My name is Westmonster. I had an accident, and I woke up in 1973. Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home. In this week's… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 18 Feb 2008 9:29 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Now, that's entertainment

Anne McElvoy in the Speccie today argues that we are about to be governed by, wait for it, The Jam Generation: What do David Cameron, David Miliband, Nick Clegg, Yvette Cooper, Michael Gove and (just about) George Osborne have in common? They are part of the Jam Generation: a powerful… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 15 Feb 2008 8:30 AM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Set up a committee

George Osborne's heard the drums on tax, and by God he's doing something about it. Not like Gordon Brown. Oh no. No way would Gordon Brown set up a committee to park an intractable problem. Only the modern, can-do Conservatives can be that direct! And as if that wasn't enough,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 15 Feb 2008 8:17 AM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Cameron readying the knife?

Andrew Pierce and Toby Helm are obviously helping out with Tory mood music this morning, with a story that Cammers and Boy George are preparing a rethink on spending: David Cameron is prepared to drop his pledge to match Labour's spending increases after the next election to pave the way… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Feb 2008 8:46 AM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

To cut or not to cut

Our obsession with Tory spending plans continues to grow. Latest evidence: a fascinating Daniel Finkelstein comment piece riffing on Fraser Nelson's Coffee House post which argues that George Osborne should simply drop his pledge to match Labour spending plans: Cameron is doing nothing original in aping Brown’s spending plans. This… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Feb 2008 12:56 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

ConHome offers George bad advice

ConservativeHome, as part of its Agenda 2008 programme, has called on the Shadow Chancellor not to renew the opposition's pledge to match the government's spending proposals through 2010/2011. They write: Last September George Osborne signed up to Labour's spending plans until 2010/11. That decision is unpopular amongst Tory members. Our… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 14 Jan 2008 2:50 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

A Hain in Gord's arse

The story that won't go away continues to embarrass the government, as Cameron warns Peter Hain he has some 'splaining to do. El Gordo offers his full support to Hain, except, well, not. But wait! Boy George has some 'splaining to do too. Westmonster is flummoxed — who knew… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 14 Jan 2008 9:20 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Loving Thine Enemy

Osborne hearts Blunkett

Westmonster has recently noted the narrowing of the policy gap between Labour and the Tories — it's all starting to seem like the contents of the two bags are largely the same, just that one's red and the other blue. Today, the lovefest continues with Shadow Chancellor George Osborne's David-Blunkett-fawn-a-thon… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 10 Jan 2008 10:54 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

A BNP divided

The BNP appears to be riven asunder and they think that'll be the reason no one votes for them. Um no. It's the racism thing, kids. What does the wise party spokesman, Simon Derby, have to say? He denies the BNP is irrevocably split - claiming it is simply going… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 20 Dec 2007 8:24 AM. Permalink

Ministry For Finger Pointing

Girls Gone Wild!

Such was the excitement at the scheduled smackdown between Harriet Harman and Theresa May at the Business statement, that here at Westmonster Towers the Colleague consented to turn over from Jeremy Kyle to watch it. The hand of history was briefly on our shoulders. Frivolous frippery first: Theresa May has… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 29 Nov 2007 12:56 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News From The Big Tent

Osborne squeaks out the Moody Blues

Osborne has told Labour Party fundraiser that he better go now, go now, go now, over the latter's alleged knowledge of Abrahams funding practices. From Nick Robinson: Well well well. A second senior Labour Party official knew about the secret donations by David Abrahams. Jon Mendelson - who was appointed… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 10:44 AM. Permalink

Our Friends North of the Border

He's gonna do politics HIS way!

Fraser Nelson's got an interesting interview with Alex Salmond (Scotland's answer to Judge John Deed - he's a maverick, doncha know) in this week's Spectator. Inter alia, it's revealed that Alex quite wants the Tories to win the next election as there's more chance of the SNP winning a referendum on independence… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Nov 2007 5:10 PM. Permalink

Department for Silly Lists

Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Cameron?

We've had quick squiz over what is loosely referred to here at Westmonster as our "reporting" over the past week, and have been shocked at the high volume of Government-in-the-brown-stuff style stories. Lest it be doubted - we believe that this administration is just the sort of very-British crack-squad that this country needs to… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Nov 2007 4:57 PM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 21/11/07

Well, it wasn't the unmitigated disaster for the Gord that it could have been: Brown highlighted a review that Would Solve Everyone's Problems, Cameron (who was a little off-form) hammered his questions out all in one go and raised the viability of ID cards in the wake of the fiasco,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Nov 2007 11:04 AM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

On the (Northern) Rocks

Nick Robinson on Alistair Darling's Northern Rock-related predicament: "His job is on the line". So said the Tory shadow chancellor, George Osborne, with menace today. Whilst struggling to imagine quite how Boy George does "menace," the stakes (poll-wise) for the comrades are high, according to Mike Smithson.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Nov 2007 3:12 PM. Permalink

Gawd Bless Yer Ma'am

LIVE! Queen's Speech, 6/11/07

Well done Her Majesty! Didn't she read the list of legislation beautifully? Amongst everything else there will be legislation on the EU Reform Treaty, a Bill to keep da yoof in education, various stuff on climate change, reforms of the criminal justice system, a new Homes and Communities Agency is… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Nov 2007 11:58 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

The stench of hyperbole

The debate's underway in the blogosphere over the Gould report into Scottish elections released yesterday. Iain Dale: "Douglas Alexander has Blood On His Hands and should resign!" Kezia Dugdale, however, has not only read the report but appears to be a bit of an expert in these matters agrees that… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 24 Oct 2007 7:43 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

...and the Tories are back in town!

The story so far: A good week in the polls for Labour after their Conference ratcheted up speculation on a snap election, to the point that everyone just assumed it was going to happen. Gorgeous, brooding Gordon Brown - ably assisted by his brilliant coterie of young advisors - was… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Oct 2007 10:14 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Bearing Up Well

Westmonster thinks that it is fair to say that the lobby were unimpressed with Gord's performance at PMQs yesterday, with bears (baiting thereof) being the metaphor of choice. The Times has Brown as a grizzly, the Independent chooses a brown bear, Simon Hoggart in the Guardian merely goes for… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Oct 2007 8:05 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE! PMQs for 10/10/07

11:59 A couple of minutes to go until Welsh Questions winds up, and Westmonster would like it noted that it appears to be House of Commons Loud Tie Day, with both Peter Hain and Jack Straw wearing eye-watering confections. Looking good, gents. 12:00 Here we go. Harriet wrestles aside the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Oct 2007 11:38 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Half-time in the House: everything to play for

Don't listen to the Government's advice; it'll give you cancer, warns the Independent. In spite of the angry, nasal squealing inflicted on the Chamber by the Boy George yesterday, Peter Riddell reckons that the Eyebrow has played a blinder in knackering the Tories' advantage. Tory blogosphere: hang your head… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Oct 2007 7:29 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Projection and objection in the House

BONG! Guido reports that former New Labour darling, Oona King, is to join the Big Tent. Even more psychologically fascinating than this decision is a comment left on Guido's post which starts "why don't you f*ck off and stick your greasy tongue back up Gay Gordon's rancid arsehole instead of posting shite… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Oct 2007 6:00 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Oooh! Back of the net!

Good news for the comrades at last in the pre-budget report! The Eyebrow's just announced that he's going to raise the threshold for inheritance tax to £600,000, in order to balance fair taxation with health and education spending, and he combined it with a nice bitchslap directed at the Tories over their… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Oct 2007 3:59 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Darling, are you channelling?

Well, after a shaky start and some periodic barracking - the Tories have clearly been told to roar and heckle loudly - Alistair seems to be holding it together. Must be the eyebrows. Surprisingly, Darling has announced that he plans to "close loopholes" on non-domiciles, and introduce a 2p cut in corporation… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Oct 2007 3:41 PM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

Exclusive: Cameron is Rasputin's love child

This time last week a YouGov poll for the Telegraph had the comrades maintaining their 11 point lead over the shiny faced boy wonder (pictured here with a cute puppy. Awwww!), whilst the Times Populus poll had him slipping five percentage points in the aftermath of the Gord's address to Conference. He… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Oct 2007 11:30 AM. Permalink

Ministry for the Margin of Error

He will, or won't, by Sunday

Allow Westmonster to set the scene. Polls are showing a big bounce. Newly smoke-free and sterile bunkers are crowding with "key decision makers." Commentators are out of breath. The Papers are out of breath. And this morning Today is leading on Dave mocking Gord over the suggestion that he'll wimp… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Oct 2007 8:42 AM. Permalink

Live From The Carlton Club

LIVE! Cameron speaks

Westmonster provided live coverage of David Cameron's speech to the Conservative Party Conference in Blackpool. The transcript appears below. Westmonster would especially like to note that she called the Jimmy Cliff song more than 3 minutes before it came over the loudspeakers, and wasn't just reporting it had already happened.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Oct 2007 1:48 PM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

Shape making and flagellation

BONG! Shadow Treasury spokesperson Philip Hammond has queried whether the public are ready to trust the Tories on the economy and public services. We at Westmonster, however, trust that he'll probably be drinking alone tonight. BONG! The Gord is more popular than Cameron amongst women, according to the Fawcett Society.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 2 Oct 2007 5:19 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Karma Chameleon

Westmonster has long been of the opinion that the talk of an early poll was a cunning plan by the comrades, and one she referred to - somewhat inelegantly - as "the premature ejaculation strategy." The theory behind this was that if Brown spent the summer being enigmatic about the possibility… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Oct 2007 12:34 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Another Manic Monday

Overheard in the Imperial bar, Blackpool, was a woman with the poshest voice ever declaring, "I live in the poorest part of London. There are single mothers EVERYWHERE." On a related note is this article by Decca Aitkenhead on George Osborne (hat tip Skuds), which contradicts the view that… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Oct 2007 8:21 AM. Permalink

Behind the Terrace curtain

Dave's Conference gamble

What to do if you are a leader wanting to make sure your party toes the line at Conference? Gord had the right idea: go in early, fast, and hard. Everybody knows that the leader's speech is what all the journos are staying around for - Westmonster couldn't move… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Sep 2007 12:04 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Blondes, thugs and dark corners in the big tent

Gorgeous pouting blonde, Boris Johnson wins Tory nomination for the mayoralty. Even given that all political careers end in failure, it looks like Bojo's might conclude sooner than expected. George Osbourne backtracks. Jack Straw outlines plans to introduce the Loitering Youths And Suspicious Young Hoodies (Summary Execution by Have-A-Go… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 27 Sep 2007 10:43 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Et tu, George?

BONG! Was it only a matter of time before young Jedi George Osbourne got the jitters about the Cameroon agenda and made moves towards the dark side of the Force? Fraser Nelson's Spectator article tomorrow will be well worth a read. In the meantime there's more on the Ben Brogan… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 26 Sep 2007 6:40 PM. Permalink

Westmonster: “George Osborne”