Department for Expanding the British Museum

What would Dave do?

Reading through the Hansard transcript of last night's EU Treaty debate on TheyWorkForYou, a few things become clear. Firstly, the boy Miliband did a good job, on paper, of laying out what the Treaty is for and why it's different to the constitution. He even admitted (after nudging by Ken… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Jan 2008 9:23 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

A Hain in Gord's arse

The story that won't go away continues to embarrass the government, as Cameron warns Peter Hain he has some 'splaining to do. El Gordo offers his full support to Hain, except, well, not. But wait! Boy George has some 'splaining to do too. Westmonster is flummoxed — who knew… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 14 Jan 2008 9:20 AM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Jingo-bells

East Midlands Conservative MEP Chris Heaton-Harris has a message for you this Christmas season, and it's sure to keep you warm and cozy as you sit in front of the hearth, dreaming of British Jobs for British People. Heaton-Harris has posted this brilliantly clever, witty, well-put-together animation on his website,… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 17 Dec 2007 11:08 AM. Permalink

A Long Time in Politics

Cowardly, like a fox

Westmonster has been following all the hub-bub about the Gord's EU Treaty non-signing with a pile of salt on hand, what with all the hyperbole and bombast out there in the ether, just a grain isn't near enough to do the trick. At the risk of sounding like cheerleaders for… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 14 Dec 2007 10:00 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

56 is the new 42?

La, la, la, 42, 42, 42. Oh, wait. Look at this number tucked away down there at the bottom of the article! So the home affairs committee is still considering 56 eh? Very sneaky. Otherwise, Gordon's had a bit of a bashing from the press this morning. Again. The Telegraph… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 14 Dec 2007 8:13 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Unhappy cops, detention flops

The sound coming from our brave police force? It's an unhappy one. Their "trust, morale and goodwill" are all going downhill. The strike ballot's happening today. Labour ministers think Jacqui Smith's a right meanie. There's also the possibility that local council leaders could gain the power to sack police commanders.… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 12 Dec 2007 9:32 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Moules Frites

Last-minute flit to Lisbon

What on earth is happening with the EU Reform Treaty? We were told that the Gord wouldn't be attending the signing ceremony in Lisbon on Thursday because of a prior engagement with the Commons Liaison Committee, which shows either a: an admirable attachment to the forms of British government or… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 12:40 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 21/11/07

Well, it wasn't the unmitigated disaster for the Gord that it could have been: Brown highlighted a review that Would Solve Everyone's Problems, Cameron (who was a little off-form) hammered his questions out all in one go and raised the viability of ID cards in the wake of the fiasco,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Nov 2007 11:04 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 14/11/07

The first PMQs of the 2007/08 session saw the Gord do what he does best: dig in his heels and refuse to budge. Oh, Davy danced around, aiming punches over when he knew about the Jacqui Smith Immigrant Shame, but he resolutely refused to answer. We were also treated to the sight… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Nov 2007 11:41 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Moules Frites

Confused? You will be.

This morning Willy Hague will be mostly demanding a retrospective referendum on the EU Treaty. Given that previously he'd indicated that he wasn't too keen because even though a couple of months ago Cameron offered a "cast iron guarantee" that there would be a referendum he then appeared to change… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Nov 2007 10:25 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Sometimes it's hard to be a Cameron

Guess what? Cameron is the first person EVAH to notice that rape is a bit of a problem for women, and as the only one who's spotted this hitherto, Westmonster is pleased to confer on him the title of "First Lady." As to those glory-stealing women who've tried to jump on his bandwagon… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Nov 2007 8:01 AM. Permalink

Gawd Bless Yer Ma'am

LIVE! Queen's Speech, 6/11/07

Well done Her Majesty! Didn't she read the list of legislation beautifully? Amongst everything else there will be legislation on the EU Reform Treaty, a Bill to keep da yoof in education, various stuff on climate change, reforms of the criminal justice system, a new Homes and Communities Agency is… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Nov 2007 11:58 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Things We'd Like To Know

Cards on the table

Although the Queen will be delivering her speech in a slightly posher accent than the bloke who wrote it, many have been pointing out that the contents will probably sound remarkably similar. In July the Gord gave his pre-Queen's Speech to the assembled Chamber in which he outlined many of his… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Nov 2007 10:01 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

Of Kings and knaves

Parliament went into prorogation on Tuesday, but that didn't mean it wasn't a week packed full of uproar beginning on Monday with the visit of King Abdullah and concluding when the verdict of the de Menezes shooting came in on Thursday and the backlash against Ian Blair started in earnest.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Nov 2007 12:25 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Moules Frites

Another day in Europeland

The Tories' crowing over the Morning of the Election that Wasn't was marred slightly by a poster seemingly committing the Tories to a retrospective referendum on the EU Treaty The story so far: Davy gave a "cast iron" guarantee to The People that he would offer them this and then swiftly… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 2 Nov 2007 9:45 AM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

The election that wasn't (part the XIV)

According to the Tories, today could have been the day that they went back to their constituencies and prepared for Government. Heh. Regardless of the fact that bad as the polling was for Labour, Satan would have been making snowballs in hell before the Conservatives could have returned an overall majority,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Nov 2007 11:30 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

Things can only get better (they can't get much worse)

The Gord's woes were many at the beginning of the week, and by the end they were legion. A particularly irritating leit motif for Brown was the fact that Anthony Seldon's new book on Blair hit the shelves over the weekend, so the PM's parade was further rained upon by various reminiscences of… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 27 Oct 2007 12:47 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 24/10/07

This week at PMQs we were treated to the sight of the Gord under fire over the report into the Scottish election fiasco, Cameron changed his strategy and split up his questions leading to an outbreak of stuttering from the PM around twenty minutes in, Michael Martin fought an ultimately pointless battle to… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 24 Oct 2007 11:43 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Moules Frites

Ironic punishment division

Sometimes it's hard being leader of the Opposition, eh? There you are, doing well in the polls, feted by your party for your taunting of brooding Brown, your hair looks great, and you decide to go for the money shot and give the Gord a damn good thrashing over not holding a… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 23 Oct 2007 4:02 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Don't mention the constitution!

BONG! The best efforts of Dave to rattle the Gord during his statement on the EU Treaty were, in the final analysis, sadly lacking. Brown delivered his statement, dug his heels in, and would not be moved. Presumably excessive practice of the speech was required beforehand in case any Freudian… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Oct 2007 5:52 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Moules Frites

Europe: does anyone actually care?

In spite of the best efforts of some bloke on the Tory benches - who spent the duration of the Europe statement yelling "aaahhhh!" as if he'd just discovered the secret location of Lord Lucan - there's been some speculation as to whether anyone is really that bothered about the EU… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Oct 2007 4:50 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Moules Frites

Treaty threatens Tory lovefest

Whilst it looked like it was going to cause problems for a beleagured Gord and his depressed comrades in the wake of the non-election, Cameron and his party have merrily brought up the issue of a referendum on the EU Treaty with monotonous regularity. However, just as Brown's reluctance to… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Oct 2007 10:34 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Feud like it's 2004!

Much excitement in the blogosphere this morning at the news that the Tonemeister and the Gord didn't like each other that much. More interesting is this report in the Guardian that Brown stoked the tension surrounding the cash-for-honours inquiry, and told Blair that he "hadn't heard the last of… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Oct 2007 9:05 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Signing sanity away

BONG! In the wake of the Gord signing up to the EU Treaty, opinion on the blogosphere is divided. Grimmer up North is irritated that the promise of a referendum was a manifesto promise as opposed to an actual commitment, whilst Mike Ion reckons not. BONG! The Norfolk Blogger on the ITV phone-in scandal. We… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Oct 2007 6:20 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Wee Nicky to take The Plunge

Clegg is set to announce his candidacy at 11.30am, as the Guardian reports that the non-appearance of Steve Webb at the starting blocks has boosted little Nicky's campaign. Quite how the Liberal Democrats will be able to keep up this level of excitement for the next two months, Westmonster really has no… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Oct 2007 9:10 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Facing the music

Alistair Darling is all set to groom his eyebrows into their most reassuring as news comes in from The Times that the economy's buggered. The EU Treaty will be signed today in Lisbon. Brown, in a cunning attempt to divert attention away from the EU Treaty (see: referendum, lack… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Oct 2007 8:25 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE! PMQs for 17/10/07

Westmonster provides live coverage of Prime Minister's Questions every Wednesday at Midday, when the House is in session. Below is the coverage of Prime Minister's Questions for 17 November 2007. 11:57 AM: Here we go again folks, and the Ministers responsible for the Department for Handing Out Lots of Money… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Oct 2007 11:57 AM. Permalink

Department of Kite Flying

Something's come along and it's burst Ming's bubble

In spite of protestations from Ed Davy, it looks like Ming's time is up. The Telegraph are reporting that he's been asked to go quietly into that good night or face a leadership challenge within weeks. The Independent, meanwhile, claim it's not as bad as all that; he's been given… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Oct 2007 10:54 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

...and the Tories are back in town!

The story so far: A good week in the polls for Labour after their Conference ratcheted up speculation on a snap election, to the point that everyone just assumed it was going to happen. Gorgeous, brooding Gordon Brown - ably assisted by his brilliant coterie of young advisors - was… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Oct 2007 10:14 AM. Permalink

Department for Expanding the British Museum

Unexpected consequences

According to the Beeb, the Number Ten petition asking for a referendum on the EU Treaty now has 8,586 signatures, up from 26 when Brown mentioned it in PMQs on Wednesday. The inevitable Facebook groups have shown a late surge as well. Any betting Cameron won't mention this at next… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 12 Oct 2007 9:44 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Bearing Up Well

Westmonster thinks that it is fair to say that the lobby were unimpressed with Gord's performance at PMQs yesterday, with bears (baiting thereof) being the metaphor of choice. The Times has Brown as a grizzly, the Independent chooses a brown bear, Simon Hoggart in the Guardian merely goes for… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Oct 2007 8:05 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE! PMQs for 10/10/07

11:59 A couple of minutes to go until Welsh Questions winds up, and Westmonster would like it noted that it appears to be House of Commons Loud Tie Day, with both Peter Hain and Jack Straw wearing eye-watering confections. Looking good, gents. 12:00 Here we go. Harriet wrestles aside the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Oct 2007 11:38 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Statesmanship a la mode

Great stuff from Dave yesterday in the Iraq statement. Dave berated the Gord for how he was "dealing with people's lives and the families of our brave servicemen. How dare he play politics with our armed forces? The Conservatives wouldn't do that! Vote for us to support our boys!" Stirringly… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Oct 2007 7:39 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Another Manic Monday

Overheard in the Imperial bar, Blackpool, was a woman with the poshest voice ever declaring, "I live in the poorest part of London. There are single mothers EVERYWHERE." On a related note is this article by Decca Aitkenhead on George Osborne (hat tip Skuds), which contradicts the view that… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Oct 2007 8:21 AM. Permalink

News From The Big Tent

LIVE: Gordon Speaks

Westmonster provided live coverage of Gordon Brown's speech to the Labour Party Conference. The transcript appears below: 2:14 PM: A minute to go by Westmonster's reckoning until Gord makes his triumphant entrance into the Conference Hall. Everybody is clustered around TV screens, waiting, and trying not to be bored by… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 24 Sep 2007 2:00 PM. Permalink

Westmonster: “EU Treaty”