Crime rates are expected to soar as the economy deteriorates. The Guardian. Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling have decided that England should borrow its way out of the economic crisis. The Times. Al Gore has challenged Americans to give up fossil fuels within the next ten years. BBC. Plans for… read more…

Iran has test-fired its longest range missile - capable of hitting Israel - as a warning to the U.S. BBC. The Vatican isn't too happy with the Church of England's decision to allow women to be bishops. The Times. A new report has determined that errors within the benefits system… read more…

David Cameron has declared that he'd like to toughen up the UK's laws on knife crime. During an interview for the Sun, the Conservative leader stated that he believes anybody who is caught carrying a knife without lawful reason should automatically be jailed. Labour are also reported to be calling… read more…

Hospital staff have had to start wearing stab-proof vests in order to stand a chance of surviving the knife-riddled English night. The Guardian. Labour suffered another bout of confusion over the weekend, this time due to the Scottish by-election. ePolitix. Young people seem to becoming more Conservative in than they… read more…

The Tories won the Henley by-election, with Labour in fifth place. BBC. The Guardian. Nelson Mandela's birthday concert is taking place today in Hyde park. BBC. The State is to start taking action against five-year-olds that with criminal tendencies (thank you Jacqui Smith). The Times. Jack Straw has controversially admitted… read more…

In our age of product personalisation, social network self-promotion , and extreme fashion fastidiousness, it seems that the brainiacs in charge of the Labour Party's crime fighting division have finally managed to attune themselves with the collective conciousness of the UK's young offenders. Announced this morning, the Government's new plans… read more…

Westmonster was stabbed thirty-seven times on the way to the shops the other day. Luckily we'd invested in a blade-proof vest only hours previously, otherwise that dash to the corner shop to stock up our supplies of Irn Bru and Salt And Vinegar Space Raiders could have ended in… read more…

A new poll conducted by the BBC has suggested that up to 70% of UK residents consider themselves to be 'happy' with the police. Conducted by Radio 5 Live, the research discovered that the majority of people thought the police were doing a good job, and that 60% felt that… read more…

It's been another busy week for the Chosen One, A.K.A. Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, all-round nice guy, and neophyte vanquisher of crime™: Yesterday he was hanging around the Elephant and Castle with Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, in an attempt put an end to knife fights in the capital, and… read more…

Some good news for the Gord! Air rage is down! According to this release on the Government News Network: The figures for the year 2006-07 show that * the total number of reported incidents of disruptive passenger behaviour rose from 1359 to 2219, of which 2161 were classified as significant… read more…