The Funding Scrolls

When the levee breaks

So, Ben Brogan reckons Ben Wallace's decision to release a comprehensive breakdown of his expenses is a tipping point: Is this the moment the dam bursts? Congratulations to Ben Wallace, the Conservative MP for Lancaster and Wyre, who has today released a comprehensive breakdown of his expenses, including details and… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Feb 2008 7:29 PM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

You Should Not Have Come Back, Gord

Confirmation that the Forces of Darkness (whose earthly manifestation is Tory peer and donor Lord Ashcroft) are behind the Government's recent woes comes from no lesser sage than Ben Brogan: Stepping out of the fray for a moment, I can't help but be impressed by the scale of the operation being run… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 2:45 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

David Abrahams has murdered sleep ...

Sorry this is late; Westmonster's got a problem in her ... Actually, no. You don't want to know. Harriet Harman clings on to power after it is revealed that she accepted £5,000 through an intermediary of David Abrahams. But for how long? Last night, and using no lesser mortal divinity… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 28 Nov 2007 10:12 AM. Permalink

Department for Expanding the British Museum

Is this a coup?

Ben Brogan certainly thinks so. No sooner had the Gord left for Uganda than a selection of military gentlemen with startling sounding names like Lord Humphrey-Montmorency III start popping up on the Today Programme to declare martial law outline their concerns at Government policy in Iraq. Apparently, the fact that Defence… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 23 Nov 2007 10:42 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

Icebergs and revolutions

BONG! Are the Eyebrows heading for a Northern Rock-shaped iceberg? Alistair Darling defended his role in the bank's ongoing ishoos, as "suitors" (as they are rather quaintly called) line up to shaft vigorously make their arguments for the fair lady's hand. BONG! Still, as Guido reported yesterday, it's not bad… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Nov 2007 5:38 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Events, dear boy, events: they CAN be an arse

BONG! An article in the Financial Times - originally flagged up by Ben Brogan - has been flying around the blogosphere. To say it won't make comfortable reading in the Brown Bunker is putting it mildly. BONG! It's not been a good day to be the Gord. Just when you… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Nov 2007 5:50 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Blood and birds

BONG! Home Secretary Jacqui Smith appears to have done a Houdini with her statement to the House regarding the latest immigration scandal the Tories are getting Outraged and Saddened about. Daniel Finkelstein notes that the scale of the Gord's knowledge on this one might yet become an issue. BONG! If… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Nov 2007 5:50 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Kings Dangling and Lords A-Leaping

The Spectator on how Lord Malloch-Brown is spending taxpayers' money on those chunky chocolate chip cookies that are about two quid for five, rather than the Tesco's own-brand rich tea. For shame! The Times reports a double-whammy perpetrated on Jacqui Smith yesterday: mauled by Basher Davis in the Justice… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 8 Nov 2007 8:45 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

Brenda plays Westminster

BONG! Roundup on the Queen's Speech first, kids: the Telegraph has a transcript, Peter Kenyon wonders what will happen to party finance reform, Nick Robinson reckons that the Gord was warned to be on his best behaviour and play nicely with little Davy Cameron but Davy reciprocates by whipping out the sling-shot nevertheless, the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Nov 2007 5:26 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Pomp and Circumstance

Good morning, folks. As you are aware - great excitement - today is the day when a game old bird in lots of twinklers delivers a speech written for her by someone else whilst some bloke with a big rod (arf!) bangs on the door of the Commons. Ah, modernity, eh?… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Nov 2007 8:40 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Engage brain THEN open mouth. Not t'other way.

BONG! Ben Brogan on the Nigel Hastilow resignation. Tip for Tories: claiming that Enoch Powell had a couple of good ideas is not the way to make friends and influence people. Here endeth the lesson. BONG! The Provisional BBC takes Davy's policy on birching the Scots to its logical conclusion.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Nov 2007 5:49 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Moules Frites

Another day in Europeland

The Tories' crowing over the Morning of the Election that Wasn't was marred slightly by a poster seemingly committing the Tories to a retrospective referendum on the EU Treaty The story so far: Davy gave a "cast iron" guarantee to The People that he would offer them this and then swiftly… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 2 Nov 2007 9:45 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Happy Halloween!

If this doesn't scare you nothing will: final proof that Rudy Giuliani does actually eat babies. Fact. The LibDems' poll ratings are improving - they are up four on 18% according to an ICM poll for the Guardian. Bad news for the comrades, though: down one on 35, whilst the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 31 Oct 2007 7:58 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

And they're off!

BONG! Chris Huhne has made an early break for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats. Don't worry kids, only another two months of this excitement to go! BONG! Health Secretary Alan Johnson with good news for fatties everywhere: apparently it's not our fault! Yeah! Let's all spend our days eating… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Oct 2007 5:26 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

High drama and whipping in Westminster

BONG! Much drama on the European Scrutiny Committee, according to Ben Brogan. BONG! Ministry of Truth takes apart the altruism of Lord Ashcroft. BONG! Whilst we at Westmonster applaud the enterprising approach of Liberal Democrat Voice in getting people signed up to the party in order that they can vote… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 16 Oct 2007 5:34 PM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Behind the Terrace curtain

The cunning of the Blairite Axis of Evil?

Much comment - in the absence of anything else going on before 2.30pm - on the recent Blairite "challenge" to the Gord, which seems to have been led by Lord Falconer, ably brought up in the rear by Stephen Byers, Charles Clarke, and repeat political Lazarus Alan Milburn. Milburn, for those… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 15 Oct 2007 12:22 PM. There are 5 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Statesmanship a la mode

Great stuff from Dave yesterday in the Iraq statement. Dave berated the Gord for how he was "dealing with people's lives and the families of our brave servicemen. How dare he play politics with our armed forces? The Conservatives wouldn't do that! Vote for us to support our boys!" Stirringly… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Oct 2007 7:39 AM. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

Exclusive: Cameron is Rasputin's love child

This time last week a YouGov poll for the Telegraph had the comrades maintaining their 11 point lead over the shiny faced boy wonder (pictured here with a cute puppy. Awwww!), whilst the Times Populus poll had him slipping five percentage points in the aftermath of the Gord's address to Conference. He… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Oct 2007 11:30 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Chickens, post boxes, and the UKIP conference

BONG! Ben Brogan has nailed his trousers to the mast and come out against there being an election called this autumn, and Dizzy concurs. BONG! Some hi-LAR-ious graphics over at ConservativeHome which involve chickens (present) and guts (lack thereof).… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Oct 2007 5:51 PM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Unscripted Dave: the morning after

Are we bovvered that Cameron managed to avoid political suicide in Blackpool yesterday? Oh no, not us, not at all. Couldn't care less actually. Ahem. Right, so Peter Riddell reckons that he did well, but stopped just short of a slam-dunk, the Independent thinks the boy did good, Ros Taylor… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Oct 2007 7:47 AM. Permalink

Westmonster: “Ben Brogan”