It's always frustrating when you lack the necessary tools to do your job - a faulty computer giving you nothing but stress, for example, or a broken coffee machine creating lines of angry customers in your once-quiet cafe. Transport that principle from the workplace to the battlefield, though, and… read more…

We're assuming that you're reading this after recently arriving at your office for the Monday morning grind. Please accept our commiserations but rest assured that, despite the planet's usual state of discord, things seem to be pretty much in order. The best of the morning's stories are as follows: Following… read more…

BONG! Soldiers are turning to coke because of stress. Insert marching powder gag here. BONG! 160 MPs call for a rethink on police pay, and ask for three speeding tickets and a fine for indecent exposure to be taken into consideration. BONG! Victims of violent crime are waiting longer for… read more…

Dear Sir, I am writing regarding your article entitled "we were just cuddling, says sergeant in 'lesbian clinch.'" Whilst naturally not wanting to prejudice the findings of the tribunal, I think it is your public duty that no stone, however sordid, is left unturned in your reporting of this matter. I've said it… read more…