Tennis with Tony? That'll be ten grand, please

Tennis - officially the best sport in which overpaid public schoolboys yell 'aarrgh' all the time as though they're undergoing gastric surgery rather than just hitting a ball with a racket - has always been bereft of political presence. Until now.

That's right: ex-PM Tony Blair has decided to display his sporting calibre to the world, primarily as a valuable way of raising money for the debt-ridden Labour Party, but also in the vain hope that he'll eradicate the memory of that embarassing footage from about ten years back when he attempted to play football keepie-uppies. Possibly.

Who's going to be Tony's opponent? Why, it could be you - provided that you have a minimum of £10,000 to spare, and are happy to see that money go towards Gordon Brown and his followers. As opposed to the next government.

The tennis match, you see, is part of a much-feted charity auction that Labour are using to try to scrabble together some pennies. And Blair's psuedo-Wimbledon antics aren't the only thing on offer. There's also the frankly astonishing offer of being included as a character in Alastair Campbell's upcoming novel.

Campbell himself babbled thus:

"The Tories are raising a lot of money and Labour has to show that we still have the fight and the capacity to compete and win in argument and campaigning."

Okay, Ally-boy. We've had a whip-round throughout the office and produced the princely sum of £3.50. We'll be in your book, with two conditions: a) it's set on a high street full of charity muggers, and b) we're running towards said street with a baseball bat and a gleam in our eyes.

Written by C J Davies on 9 Jul 2008 1:49 AM. Permalink