Pigs have feelings too...

We should rue the pigs for, of all the animals, it is they whose name is most often taken in vain. Perhaps there is a portly woman walking down the street, for example, with her greasy fingers lovingly wrapped around a Cornish pasty. Or an overbearing male chauvinist pinching the bottoms of barmaids without their prior permission. Maybe in a commuter village somewhere wheezes a rotund vicar as he attempts to plough his way through a litany. All of these types will draw comparison to the Sus scrofa, our friendly domestic swine, a beast that has done nothing more harmful than roll around in its own shit, squeal, and wiggle its ears from time to time. But if Anne Widdecombe can get away with it, why can't we leave the other grunters to their own devices?

If Westmonster were a pig (fingers crossed) we would be quite sore regarding our treatment by the rest of society, the never ending barrage of vituperative and unwarranted enmity that's being thrown at our snouts. Perhaps one day we'll get used to it, but nothing could have prepared us for today, the day on which it was revealed that David Cameron has compared us to that most detestable and shameless of creatures: the Prime Minister.

That's right, in a shocking display of frank yet perspicacious observation, Conservative Leader David Cameron went on the record today as saying that Gordon Brown was being 'pig-headed' regarding the building of a third runway at Heathrow airport, and that he was just pursuing the idea to prove a political point.

Though it may not be as dramatic as you were perhaps expecting, Cameron's comments do have some truth to them if referring to Brown in the sense of 'obstinate and stupid'. We don't really need another runway at Heathrow. We've already got two that we seem to have difficulty managing, so why intensify our troubles with another? Why even think about it?

Brown's insistence on extending the airport is part of his plans to provide the illusion of opulence and grandeur to overseas business visitors, who will hopefully assume that the rest of the UK is as wonderful as the airport is. Technically, politicians shouldn't really spend as much time as they do harping on about airports and the fact that they do helps to demonstrate that politics these days has more to do with style rather than it does substance.

Cameron stated that when the Conservatives come to power again he'll do all that he can to stop money being plied into development of Heathrow, especially after the 'fiasco' that was Terminal 5. It all sounds good and well, but please Mr. Cameron, say what you like about Brown, but isn't it about time we gave the pigs a chance?

Written by Oli Anderson on 17 Jun 2008 10:41 AM. Permalink