Pamphlet for squatters riles homeowners...

Squatters throughout the UK are holding each other's unwashed hands and dancing in an untamed ecstasy after it was revealed that a number of local councils have begun to steer them towards a pamphlet that teaches the basics of lock-picking and other useful skills for invading property. Naturally, self-respecting and stuffy homeowner types have begun to shake in fear and disgust after hearing the news, especially those living in the certain parts of London, Durham, and Doncaster where councils are accused of promoting the literature.

The 'handbook', which is available on the Advisory Service For Squatters website, is a bargain at only £2 and provides readers with any information that they may need to know about legal loopholes for taking over properties, along with quick lessons in skills such breaking and entering responsibly. Other diamonds include the best excuses to use if you get caught ("I was cleaning the drains"), and how to encourage homeowners to leave you alone if they try to evict you - by telling them that they may go to prison for six months.

The Telegraph, which reported on the story earlier this morning, seems genuinely disgusted that the pamphlet is in existence. However, although the paper has sensationalised the issue by labelling the handbook as a 'council leaflet', the truth of the matter is just that a few local council websites have link to the Advisory Service For Squatters. As squatting is technically legal in the UK then councils are justified in promoting the practice as a viable alternative for homeless people.

Eric Pickles, the Conservative local government spokesman, shook things up a little with: “Homeowners will be horrified that town halls are giving squatters the green light to break into law-abiding citizens’ homes.”

Gordon Brown has refused to comment on the issue, stating that he is too busy cleaning the drains.

Written by Oli Anderson on 2 Jun 2008 12:18 PM. Permalink