Top 10 politicians in need of a beating...

Whilst Westmonster doesn't espouse the use of violence to achieve its goals, we can't help but think that the recent incident involving the beating of Labour MP Anne Moffat will make her think more carefully regarding the way that she votes on, or deals with, issues of crime in the future. Hopefully this will resonate throughout the political network.

Comments left around the story on The Times Online suggest that most members of the public are unsympathetic to the MP after she was attacked whilst walking one night. "Welcome to the real world!", screams some bloke from Manchester, and others go along similar lines. Many seem to wish that somebody further up the political ladder had been in Miss Moffat's shoes. It seems a little bit harsh to us, but if the masses have spoken the masses have spoken.

Obviously, though we feel quite sorry for Miss Moffat - nobody should have to suffer the pain and indignity of an attack like she did - we did get to thinking that there are one or two politicians out there that would benefit from a beating. Our top ten goes as follows:

1. Tony Blair - Not just for being an unctuous git, but for running off and leaving Gordon Brown in charge.
2. David Cameron - For being unable to do anything but complain incessantly about the same issues and look smug about it.
3. Gordon Brown - For his bad taste in music, amongst other things
4. Jack Straw - For killing chivalry.
5. William Hague - For always smiling so meekly on the front bench.
6. Lembit Öpik - For not taking it seriously.
7. Boris Johnson - Hair.
8. Margaret Thatcher - For increasing the air content of ice cream*.
9. Ken Livingstone - For complaining too much and thinking anarchy is still a viable option.
10. Cherie Blair - For the pensive publicity photos to promote that crappy book.

Please feel free to add to or comment upon this list as you feel fit (though we understand if you don't). Though we don't believe in violence we do believe in catharsis.

*If you don't know already, Margaret Thatcher was on a team of scientists that devised a way of doubling the air content of ice cream which allowed manufacturers to use less of the actual ingredients, thereby reducing costs. A perfect metaphor for her outlook upon life.

Written by Oli Anderson on 26 May 2008 3:01 PM. Permalink