Police given personal handheld computers

Paperwork can be so stressful sometimes. Imagine that you were Satan himself, Prince of Darkness and Great Overlord of the Underworld, and you were trying to frantically remember who was lined up for your 3 o' clock torture appointment. Shuffling through the reams of documents on your desk, you get so annoyed that you can't take it anymore and decide to take out your vengeance on the human race by making Russell Brand that little bit more famous.

Who else despises paperwork? Mr. Policeman, that's who. And now - thanks to a technological revolution on behalf of the government - the bobby on the beat won't have to bother with all that. He'll have his very own portable computer to keep track of things instead.

Assuming that the machines don't collaborate and take over the species Skynet-style - or your average copper doesn't waste all day typing 20 GOTO 10 "CHIEF INSPECTOR COLLINS IS A WANKER" PRINT and sniggering - the scheme looks all set to speed things up by:

" ... cutting paperwork so that officers can log crimes on the spot, stay on the beat and not waste time returning to the station to fill out forms."

Home Office Minister Tony McNulty sounds particularly jubilant about the new idea:

"We are investing in new technology to make crime-fighting more effective and to save officers' time. This £50 million capital fund will deliver 10,000 mobile data devices to forces. It is just one element of a range of improvements we are delivering to cut unnecessary bureaucracy, exploit new technologies and enable police officers to spend more time on front-line policing."

Sounds good, doesn't it? Now the police can keep the name of every shoplifter stored on a convenient CD-Rom, save the address of every tax-dodger to their hard drive, and keep a record of anyone who's going to be swayed by this into voting Labour in 2010 scribbled on a post-it note in their pocket.

Written by C J Davies on 26 May 2008 8:18 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink