Passionate Gordon may become insolvent...

We're sure that many amongst you have looked upon photographs of Gordon Brown with an incontrollable and salacious zest, and, to be honest, we can't say that we blame you. Quite simply, there's something about the man that could stoke the fires of even Anne anne Widdecombe's hoary loins. But why is this? Where do the PM's strange powers come from?

Well, until this morning, we gave more than a little credence to the theory that his lascivious hold on the minds of the public came from that fading purple tie that he always seems to be wearing. "Purple is the colour of passion", he was quoted as saying back in 1996, which perhaps demonstrates how he managed to rise to the top with such little resistance: through an erotic cocktail of willy tickling and mind control.

Revelations made this morning, however, suggest that his diurnal decision to wear the same tie has less to do with the powers of persuasion and more to do with penury...

That's right, according to reports made today, Gordon Brown could be about to go bankrupt, so much so that he can't afford those bargain basement Bee Gees CDs, let alone a new tie. It all boils down to the Labour Party having been given a five week deadline to find £7.45m to pay off loans to banks and wealthy donors recruited by Lord Levy, Tony Blair's former chief fundraiser. If they don't then they'll become bankrupt and party leaders will be held personally responsible for the debts.

These figures are just an estimate and don't account for interest. When that's taken into account it is suggested that the debts will actually add to a total of around £24m. Poor old, Gordon, indeed. It seems a little unfair that he could be left to clear up the mess that Tony Blair left behind. We know that's been the theme of his time in office so far, but this instance seems a little extreme.

With or without that purple tie, though, it seems that the true secret of his success is his ability to take this kind of news on his double-chins without even flinching...

But if the Prime Minister does go bankrupt, where will it leave the rest of us?

Written by Oli Anderson on 29 May 2008 9:05 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink