Crewe MP may possibly be sexy

'Phwooar,' the average Daily Star reader thinks 30 times a minute. 'Birds, eh? They're brilliant, ain't they? They're well sexy, especially when they put on bikinis and show off their tits! I bloody love women, me. Tell you what - one of these days I may even get round to talking to one.'

Okay, okay - you've caught Westmonster in a particularly snobbish mood. Maybe that's wrong of us. After all, The Star has suddenly started to take an interest in current affairs. Coincidentally, this has happened at roundabout the same time Gemma Garrett - the current Miss Great Britain - has decided to stand for parliament.

In a move that may well prove Westmonster's theory about the great British public (that, given a choice between a serious politician and a Coronation Street actor, they'd vote for the soap star simply because they done seen him on that glowing telly-box every evening), the 'blonde beauty' is all set to expose herself as a candidate in the upcoming Crewe and Nantwich by-election.

Why is Gemma the ideal person for the job? Well, because she has previously done modelling shoots for Budweiser, and ... erm ... probably loads and loads of other important stuff, we're sure. Infact, let's hear exactly what Ms. Garrett has to say for herself:

“I may not know a lot about politics yet but I do know about people. Everyone would prefer that Britain looks and feels beautiful instead of dwelling on the ugly and negative side of life and politics ... I hope to prove I’ve also got the brains by impressing the voters in Crewe and Nantwich."

Given that the only tourist attractions in the area are a shopping centre and 'Museum Of Primitive Methodism', it probably won't take much to impress the voters of Crewe and Nantwich, Gemmy-babes. Although - even if there are some sceptics left - surely they'll take heed when Gemma announces that: