Boris Johnson to comb his hair

Boris Johnson: Mayor of London, dabbler, raconteur, and sophisticated dresser. Westmonster isn't the first to point out the importance of the Mayoral Hairdo, but perhaps we're the first to prognosticate its rapidly becoming status as a national treasure.

In our preferred vision for the future, thousands will flock to London each year for a glimpse at the famous mop as it cycles proudly around the capital, becoming more important than even the Crown Jewels or Madame Tussaud's. We imagine a world of peace and unity brought about through the coiffure's transcendence of international boundaries as it spreads its message of hope and the virtues of being carefree. Thousands will loosen up in its presence and many more will learn to relax.

But, alas, it seems that this dream is not to be. Sources have informed us this morning that Mr. Johnson has decided to sharpen up his image and to join the legions of well-groomed Londoners who actually comb their hair. There is even word on the street that he may begin to straighten his tie sometime in the near future.

Although we don't wish to sound as though we are concerned with such superficial issues as hairstyles and self-management, pictures published today showing Mr Johnson on his way to the office and sporting a well-groomed do have left us feeling a little cheated. We're sure that the legions of people who voted for the foppish version of Bojo will also feel the same way.

The old Bojo haircut was, to us at least, a sign that the social conventions regarding hairstyles were becoming more modernistic. No more would long haired gentleman have to face shouts of 'puffter' as they walked down the street. No longer would they fail job interviews or be sneered at in the chip shop..

We can only hope that Boris sees the errors of his ways before too long and realises that, now that he's the Mayor, every move that he makes has myriad further implications.

If you're reading this Bojo, we beg you not to comb tomorrow...