Blair: 'well done, Boris'

He's not actually come out and said that, of course. Much like the remarkably civil exchanges during the election result speeches, Blair is helping to paint a blandly utopian political picture in which everyone puts their differences aside and works towards the common good, all holding hands and dancing around like some MGM Technicolour musical.

Hence while most sane Londoners were thinking 'Boris Johnson? Jesus Christ - what's the quickest possible way I can build a life in another city?', Blair has calmly announced:

"I look forward to developing an effective working relationship between the Met and the new Mayor. Tackling crime and delivering a responsive and quality policing service is a priority for Londoners and this was reflected in the high rofile given to these issues during the election campaign."

One can only hope he's being polite when he says he hopes to 'work with' the Mayor, and not the legions of Tory cronies who'll be handling all the important stuff while Boris shambles around making cringeworthy TV appearances, all the while proving it is now officially celebrity - not policy - that dictates the mindset of much of this nation.

Don't agree with us? Read this again in four years time - when we're under the leadership of Mayor Russell Brand - and then we'll talk.