US failing in Iraq, claims most obvious report ever

It isn't difficult to surprise someone. Simply pop a balloon behind their head, or leap out at them from a darkened room, or tell them that you just ate a Pot Noodle and consider it one of the most delicious things you've ever tasted. Although that last one might get you sectioned. Trust us.

Anyway. With all that in mind, it's important to remember the flipside: how not to surprise someone. There are many ways you could go about this, but allow Westmonster to suggest a particularly effective one - it's called "telling people that the American presence in Iraq is kinda messed up". Want to see a demonstration? Look no further than the new report from the U.S Institute Of Peace.

Anyone still harbouring bizarre hopes that America can simply stroll out of Iraq and walk away whistling - that's you, Mr. Galloway - had better look away now. According to the report, the US is no closer than it was a year ago to being able to withdraw from the country, and if it did decide to simply run away would thrust the region into even greater chaos and outbreaks of full-on genocide. Facts which tend not to fit nicely on a Stop The War Coalition placard, it has to be said.

The report continues to state the obvious over a number of seperate points, hitting readers with bombshells like: "the U.S. should redouble efforts to build regional political alliances." In other words, engaging with people progessively and politically might just be a better move than firing missiles at them.

There is cause for optimism, though. Despite the none-too revelatory content of the report, George Bush has announced that it will form a significant part of his strategy over the coming year. As opposed to the really, really brilliant one he had already outlined. Of course.

Written by C J Davies on 6 Apr 2008 8:14 PM. Permalink