Scottish Conservatives lose 150,000 pounds

We've all been in the same mildly frustrating situation - you know that you have a ten pound note on your person somewhere, you know it, and yet you can't remember which pocket it's in, and the barmaid is expecting you to pay for your drinks any second now, and everyone will surely laugh and point at you, sneering 'just look at that penniless loser.' In short: misplacing money can be embarrassing.

Which means that the Scottish Conservatives must be feeling especially red-faced today, having managed to lose a staggering £150,000 of party membership subscriptions over the last year. An investigation has been started, and it looks like there's some mischief afoot ...

As the missing funds have sparked a big financial crisis within the party - reports say that they're even phoning up donors and asking them to help out, otherwise it's curtains - the members are pretty damn anxious to find out who is responsible for this mayhem. And they may be close to finding their man.

The theory right now is that an unscrupulous party worker has been helping himself to sizeable chunks of organisation funds - or 'filtering cash', as certain polite elements seem to be putting it. Obviously a bit miffed that such a dubious character has infiltrated their ranks - insert own joke here - the Conservatives have issued a statement saying:

"The whole thing has been a major embarrassment. It has shown the accounting system was not too robust - which is why no-one noticed until it was too late."

It remains unclear as to whether they've checked down the back of the sofa.

Written by C J Davies on 14 Apr 2008 10:41 PM. Permalink