Minister sacked for texting stripper 200 times

See that headline? Savour reading it as much as Westmonster savoured writing it, won't you? It's not every day you get to type out such a wonderful, tell-all bastion of simplicity.

Ilkka Kanerva is the foreign minister for Finland ... or rather he was until Tuesday, when the Conservative National Coalition party told him to clear his desk and not expect a glowing reference. Kanerva was somewhat surprised by the dismissal, insisting he had "done nothing wrong". After all, who hasn't sent a couple of hundred inappropriate messages to the leader of an erotic dance outfit?

The lucky lady on the receiving end of Kanerva's SMS affection was Johanna Tukiainen, the 29-year-old performer in charge of the Scandinavian Dolls Erotic Dance Troupe. Kanerva initially tried to deflect things by claiming that the messages had been business-related, and that he was simply trying to organise Tukianinen's appearance at his upcoming birthday party. 200 times.

"How it would be to touch you with fingers in a night club?" panted one of the messages, while another charmingly enquired "would you like to do it in an exotic place? Where could it be?"

Party leader Jyrki Katainen was remarkably graceful about his fallen minister, stating that: "this has been the toughest decision as the leader of the party. Ilkka is my friend and he has done his job as foreign minister brilliantly."

Reports that Katainen then added "oh, and he also organised this, like, totally kick-ass wet T-shirt contest at the Christmas party" remain wholly unsubstantiated. Or infact completely made up. By us. Just now.

Written by C J Davies on 1 Apr 2008 9:50 PM. Permalink