Department for Tax and Spend
International Monetary Fund: "Whoops-a-daisy"
Now that the Credit Crunch is officially asserting its presence, it's highly likely that every single one of you reading this will end the year jobless, homeless, riddled with disease and surviving solely by drinking collected acidic rainwater from a discarded can of Dr. Pepper. Which ironically will taste ten times better than the original contents.
As with all major disasters, though, the Credit Crunch needs a figurehead. Someone to blame. Some poor sap to point a communal finger at and shout "he's the one who forced me to take that second job cleaning the toilets at KFC just to make ends meet". Step forward, then, the International Monetary Fund, who have lowered their gaze, shuffled their feet and mumbled an admission that they might not have taken the crisis seriously enough.
IMF managing director Dominique Strauss-Kahn seems anxious not to wallow in responsibility, however, stating that: "we're not going to blame for the past. The question is how can we have for the future, an institution which is likely to give to different governments early warning and warning which will be listened to."
A little arrogant, sure, but his sermon nevertheless contains one uplifting note: he mentions the possibility of an actual future for the economy, which clearly shows that Strauss-Kahn knows something the rest of the world doesn't. Either that or he's been frantically listening to those You Are A Winner motivational hypnosis tapes, interpersed with cries to his staff of "what do we do now? What?"
No, no. Calm down. Best to stay relaxed. Nice and understated, that's the way - like describing the upcoming American situation as a "mild recession". Almost like it's a routine operation. With the organs being sold to pay for food and fuel afterwards.
del.icio.us
digg
Facebook
Newsvine
reddit