David Cameron denies taming Bojo..

Conservative Leader David Cameron has had to deny claims that he has been forced to 'tame' Boris Johnson, his party's candiadate in the race to become the next Major of London. On a BBC Radio 5 broadcast this morning he stated that attempting to tame a specimen such as Johnson would be futile. "He's his own man, no-one tells him what to say or what to think," said Mr. Cameron. And he said it with sincerity.

It was as this profound statement brought the city to a stupefied mass of bodies that Westmonster realised Bojo was about to take his rightful place before us all. There he is, we thought, standing before us at the dawn of a new age as the last great Briton. In the raging waters of complacency and conformism and cctv cameras that we mere mortals are left grasping for breath in, Boris stands as solid and as strong as a rock. He is an immovable force. An elegant intransigence. We must bow before him in awe and abidance and admiration.

Cameron's spin doctors had done a good job...

But then, as the day went on, we reflected upon the speech that Cameron had made and the golden aura that we envisaged around old Bojo began to linger as did the morning. "Hang on", we thought, "couldn't it be dangerous to attribute such qualities of obstinance to somebody renowned for their tom-foolery?". What if Boris became Mayor and decided to do something 'funny', like replace all of the police sirens in London with a 'guffaw' noise, or start giving parking tickets to people in wheelchairs. It was too horrendous to even imagine.

Then we remembered that Cameron had tried to address our concerns of such issues. He had said that Boris had become serious and normal and respectable. "But he has to say that!", we remembered. It was his job.

We went back to our work and tried to pretend it wasn't happening..

Written by Oli Anderson on 15 Apr 2008 4:07 PM. Permalink