Brown's addiction to talent shows could be threat to UK..

The story of Gordon Brown's appearance on American Idol last night has produced some sensationalist headlines in today's papers. 'Brown makes guest appearance on American Idol', is how the Guardian have phrased it, and most other news sources have written along similar lines. Here at Westmonster we have the true story regarding the events.

By the way everybody's keeps blathering about it, it's almost as if our honourable leader (Brown) had actually gotten up and sang his rendition of Abba's 'Money, Money, Money (10p Tax Cut Remix)'. But, alas, all that the people of America were treated to was a pre-recorded video of the famously-dreary Prime Minister asking for assistance in the collection of mosquito nets. Not for personal reasons, mind you:

As it happens, Britain is leading the civilised world in the provision of the mosquito nets which prevent the spread of Malaria, a disease that kills somebody in Africa every 30 seconds, mainly women and children.

Very nice. Congratulations to us all. Good job. More importantly though, the news of The PM's appearance has brought to light the shocking revelation that Brown is "a fan of talent shows"*, something that you would never expect to look at him.

Here at Westmonster we had always imagined Brown to be the kind of guy to spend his free time down in the local pub, boring the bartender with causerie about his political achievements. We'd thought of him as the kind of fellow to spend his weekends taking lonesome rambles along rivers or through ravines; deep in solitary thought and plagued by the concerns of his declining popularity. Occasionally we'd imagined that he might have a nice game of bridge with the neighbours, or take part in a wine and cheese night down at the local supermarket. But never had we considered the possibility that Brown spend his time watching talent shows. It just doesn't seem right for some reason. The incongruity hurts our brains.

Does the news breed cause for concern? Can we guarantee in times of emergency such as famine or war that Brown will still be there for us? How do we know that he won't be too busy waiting for the voting lines to open so that he can vote for Sue from Grimbsy or Kevin from Milton Keynes, or whoever he's interested in? When he does place a vote, does he use the Downing street telephones? Should us tax payers pay for it if he does? It doesn't seem right.

We can only pray that, now The PM has lived the dream of appearing on one of his favourite shows, the madness will end. If it doesn't who knows where it could lead us? Maybe Simon Cowell will be judging the next election?

The video of Brown's appearance on American Idol is available for viewing at The BBC

*Quoted from the Guardian article

Written by Oli Anderson on 10 Apr 2008 12:52 PM. Permalink