Ministry for Potty Training

Brown admits that he doesn't really know what he's doing..

You've noticed that tangible air of perturbation that has been hovering like a summer rain cloud over the UK for the past few months. It got to you. On an evening you can't think straight; your head is a barrage of fervid thoughts and questions that come rocking towards you… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 30 Apr 2008 4:23 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Cheapshots

Paddick's new campaign videos rattle some cages...

Days before the Mayoral Election and Brian Paddick has being causing a bit of a stir with a series of American style 'attack ads' aimed at his opponents. These two videos, which were originally posted over at the Lib Dem Voice blog, show Paddick's campaign taking a slightly smutty turn… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 30 Apr 2008 2:57 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Dunking

Tea and biscuits with Bojo...

As the build-up to tomorrow's London Mayoral Election campaigning reaches its coda candidates are doing everything that they can in the last minute dash to the finish line. Of course, in his usual pollyannaish manner, it is Boris Johnson that has found the most novel way of motivating his team… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 30 Apr 2008 9:49 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Kate Hoey: media roundup

Controversy-a-go-go as we get closer to the London Mayoral Election: former sports minister Kate Hoey has accepted a post as 'part of Boris Johnson's team' should the bumbling Tory pip Ken to the post. Bizarrely she is claiming the move doesn't compromise her status as a Labour MP, and… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 29 Apr 2008 11:16 PM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

Bill Clinton unsurprisingly dislikes Obama

'Stand by your man,' Tammy Wynette once sang, not realising that many of her listeners may have to do exactly that. And - following Hillary's forgiveness towards those cheeky little cigar-meets-intern antics a decade back - Bill Clinton clearly owes his wife a favour or two. Consider it returned.… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 29 Apr 2008 11:02 PM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac: Thames Edition

London Elections: empty register?

Hey. Do you live in London? Are you aged between 25-34? Are you registered to vote? Chances are that - among that particular target bracket - 27% percent of you will have either shaken your head miserably or yelled 'voting? I don't need to do that! What have those… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 29 Apr 2008 10:42 PM. Permalink

Department for Waiting Lists

Now Labour MPs attack 'super-surgeries'

You wouldn't exactly call the Labour government a shining beacon of harmonious unity, yet fresh comments from York MP Hugh Bayley must nevertheless come as a surprise to the higher echelons of the party - not to mention their no-doubt overworked public relations team. Labour has recently announced plans… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 29 Apr 2008 10:29 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Phat Beats

All you other David Camerons are just imitating

David Cameron has admitted that, despite wanting to, he has been unable to avoid the 'Punch and Judy' style of debating that reigns supreme within Parliament; because a 'quieter tone' was ineffective when dealing with Gordon Brown. The admission comes as a disappointment for many Cameron followers, especially after they… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 29 Apr 2008 12:16 PM. There are 3 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Bye Bye Brown..

Latest polls forecast big losses for Labour of up for 200 council seats in England and Wales. The Guardian. A family who dialled 999 after axe brandishing masked raiders entered their house were told by police that they were 'too busy' to come and help. The Times. Interest rates in… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 29 Apr 2008 7:42 AM. Permalink

Foreign Affairs

Italy apparently fond of right-wing leaders

Quick note to any lefties out there who are a little dismayed with Boris Johnson's poll lead: imagine how your Italian counterparts must feel. Not only did the nation decide to re-elect notorious right-winger Silvio Berlusconi this month - a move which provoked much international forehead-slapping - but now… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 28 Apr 2008 11:21 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Jack Straw officially 'sorry'

Sometimes apologising can be the hardest thing to do. Especially if you're a politician - it's traditionally seen as a sign of weakness akin to painting a target on your forehead, handing a crossbow to your opponents and giving them a cheeky wink and a thumbs-up. Yet there are… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 28 Apr 2008 10:57 PM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

Huckabee: potential Vice President?

Rumours are beginning to fly that former Republican leadership candidate Mike Huckabee - he of the frankly astonishing HuckChuckFacts commercial - may well end up as running mate for possible president John McCain. Huckabee is remaining calm about the whole thing, but has stated that the position would be… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 28 Apr 2008 10:41 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Britain on 'budget blacklist'

We've all had to have that awkward conversation with the bank manager sometimes. You know the sort - he shuffles his papers, looks at you from over his spectacles and asks you if it's really necessary to extend your overdraft so that you can take a course of helicopter-flying… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 28 Apr 2008 10:21 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Fisticuffs

Brown shrugs off Blair's 'loser' comments

In a move that is many ways analogous to his nonchalant leadership skills, Gordon Brown this morning 'shrugged off' the spiteful playground claims that Tony Blair had once called him a 'liar and a loser'. Speaking at a press conference, the PM vehemently stated that he "wasn't bothered what that… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 28 Apr 2008 3:36 PM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Cheapshots

Hillary to solve world's nut cracking problems..

Ladies and Gentlemen, Westmonster is proud to introduce you to the solution to all of your nut cracking needs: the Hillary Clinton Nutcracker. Standing as the most obtuse of the Anti-Hillary merchandise available for sale in America, the Hillary Nutcracker acts as a fine example of post-feminist understanding and ideological… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 28 Apr 2008 12:17 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Fully Automatics

Bang! Bang! Bang! It's the BNP!

It can't be easy being a member of the BNP. In fact, we'd either go so far as to say that it either takes a lot of balls or an incredibly inspired dose of ignorance (obviously the latter) to even think about being so: Not only do you have to… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 28 Apr 2008 10:34 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Despite strike, oil firms report record profits..

The strike at the Grangemouth oil refinery may cost the industry an estimated £50m a day. The Guardian. The Telegraph. Oil firms such as Shell and BP report profits soaring to around £68bn. The Guardian. It was revealed that home repossessions will increase by more than a quarter this year.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 28 Apr 2008 7:43 AM. Permalink

Roundup

Brown vs. Blair vs. Levy: media roundup

So Lord Levy's autobiography A Question Of Honour - kind of like A Question Of Sport, but hopefully not as utterly soul-destroying - has begun its inevitable serialisation prior to release, and all sorts of strange tidbits are emerging from the former aide to Tony Blair. Here's a meedja… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 27 Apr 2008 11:43 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Fair Play

Official: UK election process slightly dodgy

How Britons watched the 2000 US Presidential election with amazement and incredulity. Confusion? Hanging chads? Recounts? Voters being omitted? That could never happen on this glorious island, surely? Why, Westmonster would place bets that we could remove all sorts of electoral regulations and the process would still be completely… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 27 Apr 2008 11:26 PM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

George Bush: comedian

Move aside, Hicks. Take a hike, Kinison. And you, Bruce - take that needle out of your arm and pack yer bags, Lenny-boy. There's a new comic genius in town, and he's a high-profile name guaranteed to draw in the crowds. True, the crowds might all be intent on… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 27 Apr 2008 11:04 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Bleak Outlooks

Numbers: the times they are a-changin'

It's been a busy day for political numbers: Over at The Guardian they have a report on the latest opinion poll statistics concerning the London Mayoral Election. Surprisingly for some, perhaps most of all Ken Livingstone, they show that London's favourite anarchist has managed to overtake Boris Johnson and creep… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 25 Apr 2008 6:25 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Chinese Proverbs

David Cameron and the curse of the masturbating monkeys..

In a pure moment of edification and spiritual insight, an old Chinese Master once looked upon the setting sun and said with profound awareness: Once a monkey starts masturbating it cannot stop. It was a wise and sagacious metaphor for the nature of human actions, something that has no… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 25 Apr 2008 5:52 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Munchies

Boris Johnson is down with the kids...

Boris Johnson professed his love of da herb (marijuana) yesterday when asked whether he thinks it should be made legal for medicinal use. Perhaps that explains his famously whimsical sense of humour. As part of a question and answer session held by the Telegraph, Mr. Johnson got groovy when replying… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 25 Apr 2008 1:12 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Easier on the inside..

The Prisons Union claims that life in UK jails is so comfortable that the prisoners don't ever want to leave The Guardian. The Telegraph. The Times. An oil refinery strike threatens to trigger panic-buying at petrol stations in Scotland and northern England. The Times. Security surrounding the Olympic Torch in… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 25 Apr 2008 7:55 AM. Permalink

VOX-POPPED!

Tory poll lead evokes ghastly Thatcher spirit

Everywhere you look, it's like 1987 all over again. Why, just glance over there - it's the debut album from Guns N Roses being listened to by hot new film star Pauly Shore. Phew. And what about that Terry Waite kidnapping, eh? Bet he'll be home in no time.… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 25 Apr 2008 12:28 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Climbing The Greasy Pole

MPs using your tax money to employ own relatives

Nepotism is a part of life. Westmonster has come to accept this. Sure, there may be cases in which it is utterly disgusting and inexcusable (Max Gogarty, anyone?), but the fact remains: we've all accepted the odd favour from a friend or relative. It's just the way life works.… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 25 Apr 2008 12:00 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Smiling on The Inside

Research suggests conservatives are happier than liberals

The Freakanomics blog has an interesting article today which claims that Conservatives are generally happier than Liberals. Although the research is based on samples from the American population, Westmonster couldn't help but wonder whether or not the same could be said of the English... Despite research suggesting that Conservatives… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 24 Apr 2008 3:18 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Old Friends

New Livingstone, New Danger?

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, The Guardian today reveals that Ken Livingstone has been receiving campaign advice from none other than ex-pm Tony Blair and his spin doctor friend Alastair Campbell. The move comes at a time when we were secretly hoping… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 24 Apr 2008 1:41 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Brown asks Americans for campaign tactics..

Gordon Brown asks Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama for campaign advice. The Times. About a third of classrooms in England and Wales will be closed today due to the teachers' strike. BBC. A bill which would force all peers to pay UK taxes is to be debated today. ePolitix. Chinese… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 24 Apr 2008 7:49 AM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

What next for Hillary Clinton?

We know exactly what you're thinking. You're thinking: "now that Hillary Clinton has secured victory in the Pennsylvania Democractic Primary, what does the future have in store for her campaign?". Well - either that or you're thinking "who are you? What is this site? Why am I here? I… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 24 Apr 2008 12:52 AM. Permalink

All change please

Tories sneer at Brown's climb-down

The Conservatives are having a field day - and probably a field fortnight, with a couple of field bank holidays slotted in - with the Prime Minister right now. Following the debacle of the 10p tax rate issue - which would hit 5 million plus low-paid workers - PM… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 24 Apr 2008 12:16 AM. Permalink

Blast from the past

Tony Blair: artistically knackered

If you were posing for a painting, you'd probably want to look your best. Needless to say this wouldn't involve having the inner turmoil of attempting to redefine your sullied legacy etched onto every line of your oh-so weary face. Unless you like that sort of thing. Ex-PM Tony… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 23 Apr 2008 11:55 PM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

US politicians 'meddling' with scientists

According to figures released by the Union Of Concerned Scientists - which, as a name, is surely up there with the Federation Of Annoyed Librarians - political interference in the scientific realm is rampant. Nearly 900 scientists at the Environmental Protection Agency claim that they can't get a moment's… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 23 Apr 2008 11:37 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Social Intrusion

Government asks supermarkets to spy on migrants..

In a move that sounds like the plot of a bad movie, The Telegraph has reported that the government wants councils to start spying on migrants in supermarkets. It all seems like some lo-fi Orwellian nightmare but is ostensibly based in fact. It all revolves around supermarkets such as Tesco,… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 23 Apr 2008 12:41 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Flag Flying

St. George's Cross to wow Downing Street..

In an unprecedented display of patriotism, Gordon Brown has revealed that the flag of St. George will be hanging outside number 10 today. It is Saint George's Day, after all. As part of the PM's new move on flag-flying practices, the St. George's flag is to be hung out every… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 23 Apr 2008 9:37 AM. Permalink

Ministry for The Hot and Sticky

Toilet sex scene excites Welsh Assembly..

Ministers at the Welsh National Assembly have gotten their knickers in a bit of a twist after it was revealed that a TV company used a toilet near their building to film a sex scene. Reports don't say anything regarding the graphic content of the shots but, based on the… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 23 Apr 2008 8:56 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Darling pays off..

Banks have agreed to help lenders after yesterday's talks with Alistair Darling. The Guardian. Jacob Zuma, the leader of South Africa's governing ANC, is in town for talks with Gordon Brown. BBC. Labour's 10p tax rebels have demanded that ministers must provide up to £1bn in compensation. The Guardian. The… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 23 Apr 2008 7:42 AM. Permalink

A Wee Problem

Another badly-judged government logo ...

Thanks to Lester Haines over at The Register for highlighting this little ... erm ... cock-up. Following the Swastika-lookalike debacle of the Olympics logo, you'd think that government organisations would be extra careful when it comes to designing new idents. Nothing wrong with the rebranded Office Of Government Commerce… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 23 Apr 2008 1:25 AM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

Hillary Clinton: 'I'd obliterate Iran. Possibly'

What with the anti-war movement forming a huge part of the Democratic voting base, you'd think that both leadership candidates would be keeping the gung-ho mentality to an absolute minimum. Think about it. What would that nice Bill Maher say? Seems that this internal memo must have slipped Hillary… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 23 Apr 2008 1:11 AM. Permalink

Ministry For Transport Trauma

Tony Blair dodges train fare

When one hears the words 'train fare dodger', what mental image immediately springs to mind? The skint student legging it away from the ticket inspector as fast as his backpack will allow? The wily chav, making excellent use of his Burberry cap by sliding it over his eyes and… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 23 Apr 2008 12:54 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Civil Disobedience

George Galloway: 'my rubber ball hell'

Chances are - if you happen to live in our glorious overpriced capital - that you've recently borne witness to the sight of George Galloway cruising around on his open-top campaign bus, babbling into his loudspeaker like a man possessed. Ironically George seems intent on preaching the word of… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 23 Apr 2008 12:12 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Matches in Heaven

Lembit Opik to marry Cheeky Girl..

Westmonster is excited to announce that Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik is engaged to his girlfriend, Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irima. We hope that our readers feel the same sense of awe and bewilderment as we do. The couple, who reportedly met at a Convention for Lop-sided Smilers in 2006,… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 22 Apr 2008 11:49 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Dance Moves

Boris proposes to save London through music and drama

In a poignant speech made yesterday Boris Johnson showcased his vision for a better London and told of a secret dream that he harbours regarding the transformative powers of art. It was a dream for the future. A dream to inspire. Something so culturally mind-blowing that, generations from now, our… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 22 Apr 2008 10:51 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Brown bites back..

Gordon Brown has defended himself against party rebels. The Guardian. David Miliband has praised Pakistan's 'fragile' new government. BBC. The cost of the London 2012 Olympics has risen again. The Times. E-Politix. Chinese shares have become worth only half of what they were last October. BBC.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 22 Apr 2008 7:44 AM. Permalink

Celebrity Cabinet

Prime Minister looks to Shakira for advice

If you wanted to discuss the issue of education within the Third World, who would you turn to? An academic who has spent his whole life researching the topic, maybe? Possibly a charity worker who had spent a significant amount of time working in such poverty-stricken corners of the… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 21 Apr 2008 6:30 PM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac

Hillary Clinton compares herself to Truman

After a couple of campaign commercials in which Hillary Clinton insisted that she - and she alone - was the ideal person to call in the event of a housing crisis at 3am, her team has decided to take a fresh approach on the newest advert. Previous commericals, you… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 21 Apr 2008 6:09 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Madness

Tory MP wants to deport Harrods owner

As rambling, delusional conspiracy freaks with grossly exaggerated senses of self-importance go, Harrods owner Mohamed Al Fayed is certainly one of the most high-profile specimens. Fayed has long become infamous for claiming that his son Dodi - along with People's Sloane Ranger Princess Diana - was murdered by MI6,… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 21 Apr 2008 5:50 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Incubation

Ken pledges to expand culture..

Perhaps riding on the confidence boost provided by the weekend's revelation that he was finally beating contender Boris Johson in the polls (45% against 44%), Ken Livingstone today launched into his manifesto for the upcoming election with a joie de vivre that has been seldom seen over the past few… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 21 Apr 2008 2:48 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Made Up Numbers

Gordon Brown is unofficially untalented..

Westmonster was going to try and be nice to Gordon Brown today. After the bashing he was given by the majority of the media last week, we thought it best to provide a little reprieve for the poor chap - a kind of sanctuary if you will. However, with articles… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 21 Apr 2008 1:30 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Fair Play

Personality goes a long way..

It has to be said that a lot of people are getting worried about Boris Johnson. Ken Livingstone seems to be in a constant state of disappointment and anxiety these days, the left-wing media keeps flapping its wings in panic, and even that bug up Brian Paddick's boring ass… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 21 Apr 2008 11:33 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Mps to watch their wallets..

MPs have called for tighter scrutiny of government spending. E-politix. David Miliband is to have a nice cup of tea and a chat about terrorism with the President of Pakistan. BBC. The Conservatives have proposed a £55 weekly payment for mothers to cover the cost of raising children. The Times.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 21 Apr 2008 7:44 AM. Permalink

Roundup

John Prescott revelation: media roundup

Chances are you'll have heard by now: former Deputy PM John Prescott has revealed that his time in the Blair government was overshadowed by his battle with bulimia. A remarkable admission by many accounts, and - given the self-promoting, PR-driven dirge that most politicians reel out on a daily… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 20 Apr 2008 10:50 PM. There are 3 comments so far. Permalink

Our American Cousins

America 'not facing reality', says America itself

Back in the 1950s, many imagined the future to be a space-age smorgasboard of hovering cars, instant meal pills, metal robot pants and Coca-cola running from bathroom faucets. Ask anyone that question now, howver, and the answer will be somewhat different. Probably more along the lines of 'future? What… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 20 Apr 2008 10:33 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Backbench Bitching

Stop Labour infighting, yells David Miliband

Everyone remembers the diplomatic kid at school. You know - the one who used to intervene whenever there was a playground fight, saying something like 'let's just all get along with each other', at which point all the other kids stopped scrapping with each other and turned on him… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 20 Apr 2008 10:06 PM. Permalink

Department for Waiting Lists

Tories: 'only we can save your doctors'

In this hyper-exaggerated modern age, services and functions invariably have to get bigger, brighter and slicker. Hence why customers are deserting corner shops in favour of chain supermarkets, multi-level nightclubs generally attract more people on a Saturday night than the Dog And Duck, and Heathrow Terminal 5 turned out… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 20 Apr 2008 9:59 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Last Chance Saloons

Red Ken wants another chance..

Ken Livingstone has taken an opportunity to inform readers of The Guardian why they should vote for him in the upcoming London Mayoral Election. As the first of the main candidates invited to use the paper as a forum, he writes a brief outline of his policies in comparison to… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 18 Apr 2008 10:16 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Ed Balls gets to the point..

Ed Balls has told his disgruntled Labour friends to stop complaining about Gordon. The Times. The Tories have started a new local election campaign with the recycled slogan of, "Vote Blue, Go Green". E-Politix. Gordon Brown has had to talk his ministerial aide out of quitting over tax. The Times.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 18 Apr 2008 7:45 AM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

UK and USA: officially still best mates

There's been a lot of talk in recent years about the 'special relationship' between the UK and America - almost as though we're dealing less with diplomatic relations and more with that annoying couple who sit next to you down the pub, intent on describing their 'hilarious' holiday together… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 18 Apr 2008 12:46 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Blithering Idiots

Boris Johnson: "down with the ethnics"

If mayoral candidate Boris Johnson had a theme tune, what would it be? We haven't actually got an answer, by the way. Well, we were going to list a series of popular songs that dealt with the themes of embarrassment and stupidity, but that meant all kinds of pesky… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 18 Apr 2008 12:30 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Backbench Bitching

Ruminations on boredom and Gordon..

It appears that another disgruntled Labour politician has taken Gordon Brown's absence from the country as an opportunity to slag him off. This time, Lord Desai, an Indian-born economist, has stated that the current PM's only purpose in life is to "remind people how good Tony Blair was". If Westmonster… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 17 Apr 2008 3:48 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Procrastination

US presidential hopefuls for your fingers..

As if the upcoming US Presidential Election wasn't providing enough excitement already, Westmonster is proud to announce that we have had the good fortune of discovering a riveting website that allows you to make your very own finger puppets of the three main Candidates. And for free, no less. Maybe… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 17 Apr 2008 1:06 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Mass Appeal

Bojo is the lighter at the end of the tunnel...

Smokers who are still finding life difficult after last year's smoking ban came to effect may have finally been offered a lighter at the end of the tunnel. But only if they live in London. Yesterday, Boris "The Deliverer" Johnson, Conservative hopeful for the May 1st mayoral election, came trotting… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 17 Apr 2008 11:18 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

UK welfare to go NYC

The UK welfare programme may be about to take some inspiration from NYC. The Guardian. If nobody has heard about it, the US economy seems to be having a few problems. BBC. Harriet Harman, Leader of The Commons, will not be investigated by police after failing to declare a monetary… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 17 Apr 2008 7:46 AM. Permalink

Cesspool on the (New) Jersey Shore

Springsteen on Obama: 'Born to Run'

Perhaps it's a sign of our age, but Westmonster thinks Bruce Springsteen, well, rocks. We're even setting aside our hatred of the Gunners to see him at the Emirates next month. But one reason we've always loved him, aside from his music, is that he's an original. So we were… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 16 Apr 2008 5:11 PM. Permalink

Ministry of Useless Information

James Brown is living in America..

American immigration officers may have been more than a little confused when our plucky PM landed on American soil. And not just because they're American. No, much more excitingly than that, Westmonster has reason to believe that the name written in the PM's passport does not say 'Gordon Brown', as… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 16 Apr 2008 2:13 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Brown ignored again...

The Halifax Building Society has ignored pleas from the PM and increased its rates. The Guardian. Gordon Brown is getting ready for America where he intends to give those pesky Wall Street bankers what for. BBC. An official website with details of the visit has been set-up at usvisit.pm.gov.uk. Home… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 16 Apr 2008 6:45 AM. Permalink

Foreign Affairs

French parliament bans thin people

Obesity is a major problem in the modern developed world. Right this second, countless millions of people are busy claiming that their overweight status is down to a faulty thyroid gland or their naturally 'big-boned' structure, rather than the fact that they spend all day shovelling family-size bars of… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 15 Apr 2008 11:28 PM. Permalink

Green at the Gills

Bush to talk about climate change, though probably not understand it

The American policy on climate change has been an interesting one to date - mainly involving the entire government sticking cotton wool in their ears, singing 'na-na-na, we can't hear you,' whenever a scientist tries to talk to them, and closing their eyes to picture a majestic eagle cooing… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 15 Apr 2008 11:09 PM. Permalink

Department for Ctrl-Alt-Delete

Nick Clegg: ex-Tory?

Following his 'look-at-me, I'm-a-geezer-innit' admission that he has slept with up to 30 women, Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg could be facing another, more politically relevant set of demons from his past. And we're not talking about that time he was observed switching off Question Time so he could… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 15 Apr 2008 10:52 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for higher powers

Gordon Brown vs. The Pope

Gordon Brown has always had a reputation for being a little grumpy. Recently, though, Westmonster suspects that the black cloud hovering above his head has flourished into a full-on Perfect Storm. Nothing is going right for the man. Not only are nine out of ten political insiders claiming him… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 15 Apr 2008 10:37 PM. Permalink

Ministry of Divine Intervention

David Cameron denies taming Bojo..

Conservative Leader David Cameron has had to deny claims that he has been forced to 'tame' Boris Johnson, his party's candiadate in the race to become the next Major of London. On a BBC Radio 5 broadcast this morning he stated that attempting to tame a specimen such as Johnson… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 15 Apr 2008 4:07 PM. Permalink

Ministry of Cultural Hyperbole

Brown joins cast of Livingstone's List

Lucky Ken Livingstone has upped the stakes and added no less than hip and happening Gordon Brown to his VIP celebrity guest list. As reported on Ian Dale's Diary yesterday, Mr Livingstone has released an honour roll of celebrity supporters that reads like a who's who of C-list dregs and… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 15 Apr 2008 12:00 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

MoD shot in the wallet..

The Ministry of Defence has confirmed that it is to pay £2m to an Iraqi teenager accidentally shot by a British Soldier. BBC. The Guardian. The Times. House prices fall at the fastest rate since 1978. The Guardian. Oil prices have reached a new high of $112.48 per barrel. BBC.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 15 Apr 2008 7:51 AM. Permalink

Foreign Affairs

Berlusconi victory: media roundup

So Silvio Berlusconi has swept to power in Italy once again, a decision which - thanks to his pro-US stance and general conservatism - has polarised both national and world opinion. Apart from, y'know, the vast majority of people who are more interested in watching Britains Got Talent than… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 14 Apr 2008 11:37 PM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac

Clinton and Obama now just drinking beer

Running for Democratic Party leader must be a stressful old game. Sometimes, Westmonster expects, Hillary and Barack must want nothing more that to put their feet up, crack open a cold brewski and merrily sip their concerns away. Before gulping the entire bottle whole and then reaching for six… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 14 Apr 2008 11:19 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Life on Mars

British space policy tinkered with

Space is often described as the 'final frontier' - a bleak, empty, featureless and overwhelming void of despair and nothingness. To be fair, though, most of the people who say this don't realise that you can get much the same experience by hopping on a train to Wigan. Space… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 14 Apr 2008 11:00 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Scottish Conservatives lose 150,000 pounds

We've all been in the same mildly frustrating situation - you know that you have a ten pound note on your person somewhere, you know it, and yet you can't remember which pocket it's in, and the barmaid is expecting you to pay for your drinks any second now,… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 14 Apr 2008 10:41 PM. Permalink

MINISTRY FOR DULL INVESTIGATION

Ken catches up but Bojo has more friends...

After looking at the latest batch of opinion polls, supporters of Ken Livingstone to win the London Mayoral Election are shaking in their sandals a little less than they were a few weeks ago. According to figures, discovered in a YouGov survey for the Evening Standard, Livingstone is gaining on… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 14 Apr 2008 4:52 PM. Permalink

MINISTRY FOR TRITE RETORTS

Minister states the bloomin' obvious

"Life is difficult". This was the sage-like, pop-savvy message that Communities Secretary Hazel Blears used to defend Gordon Brown after the Tories argued that the PM is responsible for the current economic crisis. In answer to her edifying yet obvious comment Westmonster would like to respond with the following: "No… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 14 Apr 2008 12:15 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Vacant Buildings

Gordon Brown is bad for your teeth...

Both The Telegraph and The Times have accounts of a furtively-released government report that shows the rapid deterioration of rural towns in England under the Labour government. According to the report, which is posted on the Department of Communities and Local Government website, many English towns are without basic amenities… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 14 Apr 2008 10:01 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Tories still don't like Gordon Brown...

The Tories have blamed the country's current economic problems on Gordon Brown (naturally). BBC. E-Politix. Alistair Darling asks banks to go easy on mortgage costs. The Guardian. The Chancellor also has plans to visit China with some of his banker friends. The Wall Street Journal. George Bush and The Pope… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 14 Apr 2008 7:32 AM. Permalink

All change please

Tory MP: Commons Speaker should quit

Such has been the controversy over MPs' expenses of late it can't be long until the next scandal emerges - when we find out that ministers have all been frantically spending public money on books like How To Shred Unwanted Receipts Properly or Fingers In The Penny Jar: A… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 13 Apr 2008 10:59 PM. Permalink

Foreign Affairs

China and Ireland - a diplomatic spat?

Recent international relations with China have been somewhat fractured to say the least. Not only have the anti-Olympic protests gathered a worldwide strangehold - from activists scaling the Golden Gate Bridge to grown men wrestling with Blue Peter presenters over a fiery torch - but now there seems to… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 13 Apr 2008 10:40 PM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac

Hilary Clinton: not interested in guns or churches

It must be frustrating when - as a politician - someone keeps questioning you about an issue you'd like to avoid. A prime example being, of course, Jeremy Paxman's head-to-head with Michael Howard on Newsnight, in which the same question was asked so many times it began to resemble… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 13 Apr 2008 10:18 PM. Permalink

Shit Hits The Fan Dept.

Gordon Brown failing more than anyone, ever

Here at Westmonster, we've said it before and we'll say it again: it really isn't turning out to be Gordon Brown's year. After a non-stop calvalcade of scandal and general incompetence, the PM has seen his government take a rapid downturn in the popularity stakes and has even had… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 13 Apr 2008 9:58 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Brown gets tough, the Dalai Lama speaks, and Doctors are pissed...

Mugabe is shaking in his army boots after Gordon Brown states he is 'appalled'. BBC. Channel 4. The Guardian. The Dalai Lama has stated that he does not advocate the Olympics boycott that people keep getting excited about. Reuters. Saudi Arabia's objections to the SAE investigation have caused some confusion.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 12 Apr 2008 8:13 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for cheap shots

Conservatives provide new opportunities in broadcasting

Any would-be broadcasters out there may wish to know of an exciting job opportunity that is being offered over at the Conservative home website. In perhaps the most exciting development within the broadcasting industry since the invention of the radio, it appears that the call-to-arms on the page is seeking… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 11 Apr 2008 7:02 PM. Permalink

Questions, Answers and Avoidance

Have a chat with the Home Secretary

Ever wanted to pick the brains of Home Secretary Jacqui Smith? Better mark the 17th of April - that's next Thursday - in your diary, then. Smith will be taking part in a live webchat through the Downing Street site, and she - probably - wants each and every… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 11 Apr 2008 6:43 PM. Permalink

War! What is it good for?

War will end 'one day', says Bush

With George Bush having stepped up his criticism of Iran - now explicitly linking them to Al-Qaeda - you'd be forgiven for thinking that the War On Terror will still be ongoing in five thousand years time, when galactic emperor Xrysyx rules the Earth and George Galloway is still… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 11 Apr 2008 6:31 PM. Permalink

War! What is it good for?

Official: not equipping soldiers may be bad move

It's always frustrating when you lack the necessary tools to do your job - a faulty computer giving you nothing but stress, for example, or a broken coffee machine creating lines of angry customers in your once-quiet cafe. Transport that principle from the workplace to the battlefield, though, and… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 11 Apr 2008 6:06 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Tories blame PM for economic disaster

Anyone keeping an eye on the financial news will be aware that - in the wake of the ever-increasing grip of the Credit Crunch - the International Monetary Fund has sheepishly admitted that they should maybe have paid heed to the warning signs a tiny bit earlier. The Conservatives,… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 11 Apr 2008 5:43 PM. Permalink

Ministry of pointless spending

World leaders plan to build 'Death Star' in Nevada desert

In the pink deserts of Nevada, something is stirring. As the dusts and sands of time sweep across the earth's majestic planes, a coyote howls beneath the pale moonlight. There is change in the air, something that our coyote friend is able to sense but can't quite understand or articulate.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 11 Apr 2008 10:17 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Brown under pressure, BBC wages war, and nobody's going to the Olympics...

Gordon Brown faces pressure to reopen the fraud investigation between BAE and Saudi Arabia. BBC. The Guardian. The Times. The Government has launched a helpline for victims of 'forced marriage'. E-politix. The BBC is using some of its stars in the battle against the threat to its licence fee subsidy.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 11 Apr 2008 7:39 AM. Permalink

VOX-POPPED!

US Election: famous Londoners have their say

Sure, London is well and truly caught in the grip of its own mayoral fever, but that doesn't mean we're turning a blind eye to events happening on the other side of the Atlantic. Apart from the next series of American Idol - we're not too bothered about that,… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 10 Apr 2008 11:14 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

International Monetary Fund: "Whoops-a-daisy"

Now that the Credit Crunch is officially asserting its presence, it's highly likely that every single one of you reading this will end the year jobless, homeless, riddled with disease and surviving solely by drinking collected acidic rainwater from a discarded can of Dr. Pepper. Which ironically will taste… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 10 Apr 2008 11:00 PM. Permalink

Ministry for higher powers

Religion Vs. Government: now it gets high-tech

Religion has always been at the forefront of embracing modern technology - from using the Black And Decker Firestorm 3000 Series to burn witches, to installing a special Jesus-monitor on the next shuttle launch just in case the Messiah comes within close proximity and possibly affects any spacewalks that… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 10 Apr 2008 10:42 PM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

Dick Cheney's naked woman controversy

Internet phenomenons are a curious thing. Be they Rick Astley career revivals or dancing walruses, as soon as something captures the public imagination it's virtually guaranteed to spread like wildfire. The subject of the latest online furore? None other than Vice President Dick Cheney. A picture of Cheney enjoying… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 10 Apr 2008 10:15 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Sensationalism

Brown's addiction to talent shows could be threat to UK..

The story of Gordon Brown's appearance on American Idol last night has produced some sensationalist headlines in today's papers. 'Brown makes guest appearance on American Idol', is how the Guardian have phrased it, and most other news sources have written along similar lines. Here at Westmonster we have the true… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 10 Apr 2008 12:52 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Thursday's top stories

The Pound reaches a record low of 80p against the Euro. The Guardian. Sky News. Mugabe assuages voters with death threats. The Guardian. Gordon Brown isn't protesting but won't be going to the Olympic opening ceremony in China. The Independent Food Prices to rise thanks to biofuel increment. E-politix. Farmer's… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 10 Apr 2008 9:06 AM. Permalink

All change please

Britain's big Olympic turnaround

The government seemed determined to ignore the Olympic Torch protests earlier this week. Let's face it - if mindsets can't be swayed by the sight of a Blue Peter presenter grappling with someone over an arbitrary cultural artefact, they probably never will be. Hang on. Maybe they will. Prime… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 9 Apr 2008 9:38 PM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

US Senate: "take your gun to work"

Workplace relations are a little different on opposite sides of the Atlantic. In Britain, for example, the most excitement contained within an average day is when someone mumbles too loudly about the shoddy quality of office biscuits. In America, meanwhile, it's highly likely that same person would end up… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 9 Apr 2008 9:16 PM. Permalink

Ministry For Transport Trauma

Gordon Brown gets free bus pass

The Prime Minister has really been in the firing line of late, but none of the criticisms levelled at him have been as surreal as this one: getting sent a free bus pass. Why did Gordon receive this gift in the mail? Because Royston pensioner Vilma Oakes didn't want… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 9 Apr 2008 9:00 PM. Permalink

Green at the Gills

Labour helping to destroy environment further

You'd think - what with all the doom-laden reports concerning the future of the environment, including Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth and its upcoming sequel We Are All Definitely, Definitely Going To Die - that being eco-friendly would be the number one priority for the government. According to those… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 9 Apr 2008 8:39 PM. Permalink

Ministry for old complaints

History to deem George W. as worst ever

It can't be easy being George Walker Bush. On one end of the political spectrum you have people that like you but secretly think that you're less intelligent than them. On the other you have people that really hate you and liken you to a either simian or a terrorist.… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 9 Apr 2008 1:30 PM. Permalink

Ministry for low production values

Mayoral campaign videos online..

Boris Johnson, Ken Livingstone and Brian Paddick have all released their campaign videos on Youtube. Westmonster had a quick gander and discovered some interesting contrasts: Boris Johnson comes across as more Boris Karloff in his video. Shot in a rather sober black and white to show us the 'serious' side… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 9 Apr 2008 11:30 AM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac

Basil Fawlty: Obama's speechwriter?

Should Barack Obama win the Democratic nomination for U.S. president, he'll need all the help he can get to beat John McCain in the fall. Apparently all too aware of this fact is John Cleese — ex-Monty Python, ex-Basil Fawlty — and he's offering to do something about it. In… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 9 Apr 2008 10:01 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Wednesday morning headlines

Gordon Brown denies accusations that he is avoiding a human rights row with China for economic reasons. BBC. Row breaks out between the BBC and the Internet ISP Tiscali over the bandwidth cost of the iPlayer online TV service. BBC. Tech.co.uk. House prices look set to become even more disparate… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 9 Apr 2008 7:34 AM. Permalink

All change please

Who's the next Labour leader?

Gordon Brown hasn't been having an easy time of late - he's had to put with up talk of an economic meltdown, persistent lagging in the opinion polls and all sorts of general indications that he might not be all that popular. And now it looks like his own… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 9 Apr 2008 12:34 AM. Permalink

Celebrity Cabinet

George Clooney to sort out Darfur crisis

What's better than a celebrity? Nothing, that's what. They're perfect godlike specimens, swanning around the globe being incredible while you go about "working hard to make an honest living" and "maintaining some sort of perspective" like the loser you are. And what's better, then, than when a celebrity enters… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 9 Apr 2008 12:16 AM. Permalink

Department for Silly Lists

Official: BNP members don't get much bedroom action

Having looked at this entertaining poll over at Iain Dale's diary - the Cleggover sex survey, in tribute to bumbling lothario Nick Clegg - Westmonster can't help but wonder: why exactly would 30 per cent of BNP members be virgins? What is it about them that fails to attract… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 8 Apr 2008 11:57 PM. Permalink

All change please

Lib Dem candidate: "I support Labour"

There are certain things you just shouldn't say. If you're an airline pilot, for instance, it's probably not for the best if you flick on the intercom and share your woe about your cataracts playing up. Likewise, if you're in the running as an electoral candidate, it could well… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 8 Apr 2008 11:27 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Shots In The Foot

School Cadets will produce nation of neat sheets..

Gordon Brown and MP chums' plan to expand the Combined Cadets Force to comprehensive schools has been subject to debate since the news was made public over the weekend. Naturally, the main concern of those opposing the notion is that teaching kids who are already perceived as being out of… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 8 Apr 2008 4:00 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Media folly: Tuesday Morning roundup

Congratulations on making it through the whole of yesterday. Today's top stories seem to be shaping-up as follows: Everybody thinks Princess Diana was unlawfully killed, including William and Harry. Read The Telegraph's spin here. Paula Radcliffe claims that the heat and humidity of China will makes things hard for Olympic… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 8 Apr 2008 7:26 AM. Permalink

Ministry For Movie Madness

George Bush movie details emerge

When Westmonster first read the ABC report claiming that Oliver Stone was working on a George Bush biopic - featuring No Country For Old Men's Josh Brolin in the leading role - we took one look at the date and assumed this wasn't to be taken seriously. April 1?… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 7 Apr 2008 11:56 PM. Permalink

VOX-POPPED!

Brown 'worse than Blair', claim random people

Where would the world of politics be without arbitrary opinion polls? Probably concentrating on things like 'policies' or 'strategies' or 'ideas on how to save us from upcoming economic meltdown'. And, seriously - who'd want that? Let's turn our gaze to a new meedja-friendly survey, then, which claims that… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 7 Apr 2008 11:23 PM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac

Condi Rice: future Vice President?

What with the persistent Obama/Clinton face-off snaring the majority of the headlines, it's easy to forget that the Democratic Party leadership contest is simply a prelude to another event - the small matter of an American general election. There's a very real chance that Republican candidate John McCain could… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 7 Apr 2008 10:50 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Media folly: Morning roundup

We're assuming that you're reading this after recently arriving at your office for the Monday morning grind. Please accept our commiserations but rest assured that, despite the planet's usual state of discord, things seem to be pretty much in order. The best of the morning's stories are as follows: Following… read more…

Written by Oli Anderson on 7 Apr 2008 7:23 AM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac: Thames Edition

Boris Johnson's emails hacked, says Boris Johnson

No-one was expecting a good clean fight, but the London mayoral election race between Livingstone and BoJo appears to be stepping up the filth stakes. The Boris Johnson camp is claiming that their leader has been subject to computer hacking, and that some unscrupulous soul has been having a… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 6 Apr 2008 8:43 PM. There are 3 comments so far. Permalink

Our American Cousins

US failing in Iraq, claims most obvious report ever

It isn't difficult to surprise someone. Simply pop a balloon behind their head, or leap out at them from a darkened room, or tell them that you just ate a Pot Noodle and consider it one of the most delicious things you've ever tasted. Although that last one might… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 6 Apr 2008 8:14 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

London elections: Tory landslide predicted

Westmonster once spent a couple of years living in Harrow, and didn't particularly see it as a thriving hub of political debate. More a collection of arbitrary chain stores and a couple of pubs it'd be best to avoid on Saturdays. Or Sundays. Or those other five days of the… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 6 Apr 2008 7:48 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

A Long Time in Politics

Nick Clegg: the fake Lib Dem leader?

It's been a bad week for Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg. He provoked sniggers, nicknames like 'Commons Casanova' and predictable outrage from the Daily Mail when he claimed in a GQ interview to have slept with around 30 women before meeting his wife (which, to be fair, sounds like… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 6 Apr 2008 7:22 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Prescott's taxpayer banquet

We've already witnessed a lot of controversy over MP's spending and allowances these last few months, and - with the introduction of a Freedom Of Information order - it looks like we're going to be seeing a lot more. Details are seeping out further, and allowing the public a… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 5 Apr 2008 7:37 PM. Permalink

A Long Time in Politics

Saturday morning round-up

In pyjamas, on the sofa, with bacon sandwich. Who says politics can't be fun? So, this morning: Tim Ireland continues his inspired campaign for stats honest from our leading political bloggers. Any usage of Spinal Tap is fine with us. No question on the biggest news this morning: the revelation… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Apr 2008 12:18 PM. Permalink

Behind the Terrace curtain

Boring in an interesting way

So yesterday was a surprise to us. We thought an esoteric post about blog stats would bore the pants off everyone, but in fact it turned out to be one of our most popular posts ever*. Go figure. So, having demonstrated that the two grandfathers of UK blogging may have… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Apr 2008 12:47 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Morning media zoo

"My comments do not accurately reflect my views" says Gerry Sutcliffe. Tax revolts are habit-forming: Guardian Phone-it-in headline of the day: "Commons to publish some expenses." Mweh. BBC (also Guardian and Independent) Data theft well and truly fudged. Guardian Ken's got enough children for a basketball team. World shrugs. Guardian… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Apr 2008 9:11 AM. Permalink

All change please

Mugabe: The Media Roundup

So world's most popular man Robert Mugabe has finally conceded defeat, and is apparently looking for ways to save his sorry backside, including attempted immunity deals and other such guarantees. Here's a bitesite scan of what various meeja outlets have to say: Laying down the cards: The Guardian What's… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 4 Apr 2008 1:09 AM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

NATO: sure, USA can keep missiles in Europe

There's controversial, and then there's controversial. And then there's bone-shaking, teeth-grinding, ultra-ultra controversial. No prizes for guessing which category NATO have fallen into. NATO officials yesterday granted the green light to a US missile defence system that would be stationed in both Poland and the Czech Republic. While heralding… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 4 Apr 2008 12:56 AM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

MP's allowances? Come take a look

No-one likes having their dirty laundry aired in public. Infact, no-one likes having their laundry aired in public full stop, be it clean or otherwise. Try telling the national press that those Dangermouse underpants were simply an 'ironic' gift from a girlfriend. Go on. We dare you. Some people,… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 4 Apr 2008 12:29 AM. Permalink

Ministry for higher powers

Blair 'faith speech' lacks divine intervention

Faith and religion have become contentious issues of late, what with heavyweights such as Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens weighing in with their opinions on the apparent uselessness of the whole ideology. None of which stopped ex-PM Tony Blair converting to Catholicism last year (how's that 'forgiving sins' angle… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 4 Apr 2008 12:11 AM. Permalink

Good Vibrations Dept.

You say visit, I say visitor

Stats! Stats! No, bear with us, this might be important.... There's been a right old bunfight over the claimed stats of Iain Dale and Guido Fawkes this morning. Leading the charge: well-informed obsessive Tim Ireland. He's jumped on a screengrab Iain Dale's put up of his Google Analytics stats (available… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Apr 2008 9:39 AM. There are 4 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Spoonfed politics: morning round-up

Mick Fealty wants the London dog to see the BoJo rabbit: Brassneck London Mayoral "on a knife-edge" - unfortunate turn of phrase from the Guardian Ken's knife-edge plan: raid the schools! This Is London Cammers likes his women to look a certain way: Telegraph El Gordo's latest mainstream election wheeze:… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Apr 2008 8:23 AM. Permalink

Shit Hits The Fan Dept.

Bertie Ahern resignation round-up

Big news doing the mainstream meeja rounds: Irish PM Bertie Ahern has stepped down after 11 years in office due to controversy surrounding his financial affairs. Here's a quick roundup of the most interesting slants on the subject: Ahern's resignation statment in full: Guardian The view from sunny California:… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 3 Apr 2008 1:16 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

House Of Lords may dismantle BBC further

Pity the poor BBC. As if last year's scandal over the Blue Peter cat wasn't bad enough, they're now facing the very real chance that they may have to share their resources with rivals. The proposal has been submitted to the House Of Lords communication committee by Culture Secretary… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 3 Apr 2008 12:52 AM. Permalink

Foreign Affairs

Tony Blair: officially disliked by Belgium

Belgium is remarkably tolerant of lots of cultural oddities - they're responsible for Tintin and The Smurfs, after all. Yet while they're evidently big fans of bequiffed reporters and undersea blue people, they're not too keen on British exports. Namely ex-PM Tony Blair. Blair has been hustling for the… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 3 Apr 2008 12:23 AM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac

Hilary Clinton's odd '3am' fixation continues

Hilary Clinton has churned out a sequel to her much-maligned '3am ringing phone' commercial. Check out the mini-Halloween horrorshow below:… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 3 Apr 2008 12:05 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

A Long Time in Politics

Tory councillor apparently on quitting marathon

Sometimes, as Cast once sang before everyone realised how boring they were, the best thing to do is 'just walk away.' Advice that Tory councillor David Meikle seems to be following rather too literally. He already has one distinction to his name - he's the sole Tory councillor in… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 2 Apr 2008 11:44 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Who needs bloggers?

Westmonster's morning media round-up Subs succumb to "wounded Harman" headlines: Guardian Is Crosby keeping BoJo away from the great unwashed? Guardian PLP mutterings over abolition of 10% tax rate: Guardian NUTters are back, and this time they're talking strikes: Guardian, Times 'Er indoors causing problems for Martin: Guardian, Telegraph, Times… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 2 Apr 2008 8:34 AM. Permalink

Foreign Affairs

Minister sacked for texting stripper 200 times

See that headline? Savour reading it as much as Westmonster savoured writing it, won't you? It's not every day you get to type out such a wonderful, tell-all bastion of simplicity. Ilkka Kanerva is the foreign minister for Finland ... or rather he was until Tuesday, when the Conservative… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 1 Apr 2008 9:50 PM. Permalink

Cesspool on the Potomac

Clinton and Obama unite against McCain

Despite the fact that the Democrat leadership battle is turning daily into the sort of tussle you'd see in a borstal exercise yard, it's nice to see that Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama can at least come together on one thing. That thing being: disliking John McCain. Clinton and… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 1 Apr 2008 9:25 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Council Tax 'remorseless', say Tories

The cost of living in Britain is become unbearable. Sure, life may be just rosy if you're a TV executive getting paid thirty million pounds per second to come up with ideas like The Little Girl With Seven Chins or Stalinist Cannibal Holiday Cruise, but what about life for… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 1 Apr 2008 9:02 PM. Permalink

Ministry For Finger Pointing

Commons Speaker getting probed for expenses

Want a further addition to the recent media furore about MPs' declared - and more importantly undeclared - expenses? Oh, go on, then. It turns out that now Michael Martin, speaker of the House Of Commons, is due to face a probe into his financial dealings. It's being carried… read more…

Written by C J Davies on 1 Apr 2008 8:40 PM. Permalink

All change please

Ken's outbreak of truthiness

Gordon Brown and Ken Livingstone have more in common than we might have thought.....… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Apr 2008 10:08 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Who needs bloggers?

Westmonster's morning round-up of the news media Immigration not as good as the hippy fairies and economists led us to believe: Guardian, Times, Independent, BBC, The Sun and The Mail (of course) Newspapers dead on their feet, but still influencing Brown on media privacy: Guardian Backbench rebellion on housing surprising… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Apr 2008 8:41 AM. Permalink

April 2008 Archives