Westmonster Deathmatches
Nick Clegg vs. iPhone
Westmonster now presents the first in what we hope will be a regular series we're calling "Westmonster Deathmatches." Today's deathmatch pits just-crowned LibDem leader Nick Clegg against Apple's iPhone. The results may shock and amaze you.
 Nick Clegg |  iPhone |
| Age | 40 | 6 months |
| Childhood memory | A home filled with books | 8GB |
| Mentor | Ming Campbell | Steve Jobs |
| Operating Philosophy | Classical Liberal | Mobile OS X |
| Preferred Network | Sky News | O2 |
| Sexy Feature | Hair | Multitouch™ Interface |
| Youthful Indiscretion | Arson conviction in Germany | No support for 3G |
| Vanquished Foe | Chris Huhne | Nokia N95 |
| Backstab Victim | Charles Kennedy | Motorola ROKR |
| Languages | Dutch, English, German, Russian, Spanish | English, French, German, Italian, Spanish |
VERDICT: iPhone comes close, and no question Steve Jobs makes a stronger mentor than Sir Ming, but its lack of support for 3G and Russian weakens its case. In the end, The Hair puts wee Nicky over the top — for now. But he'd better watch his back, lest iPhone's rumoured late-2008 model boast a slick bouffante.
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