While You Were Sleeping

Immigration for grown-ups

The Government doesn't know. The Daily Mail doesn't know. The Local Government Association doesn't know. Even London's taxi drivers don't know. So what exactly is going on with immigration in Britain? Well, the Barrow Cadbury Trust have had a stab at investigating. The report contains the memorable phrase "Britain's diversity… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 24 Dec 2007 11:39 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Administrative Affairs

Westmonster's Weekly Pop Chart

What you were reading on Westmonster this week: 1. A Sad Day: Westmonster mourns the death of Newsnight and the continuing world domination of Simon Cowell 2. Nick Clegg v. the iPhone. Deathmatch! And it's Clegg by a hair! 3. All bets are off. Terrible news in the polls for… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 22 Dec 2007 10:54 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

Schengen, Shaun and shenanigans

BONG! From today, you can drive from Lisbon to Tallinn without a passport. Which is extraordinary, given that 60 years ago you'd have needed a tank and a dose of megalomania. We're still reeling from the fact there's now a Polish food aisle in Dog Kennel Hill Sainsbury's. Given they… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 21 Dec 2007 4:52 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Not Holding One's Breath

Commish: "A bit of a limpet"

In an interview with the Today programme, Met Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair called himself "a bit of a limpet." Um… OK, whatever. Oh, he's talking about not resigning. Glad he took that seriously. Blair goes on to say: In terms of my commission, I think it is quite likely… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 21 Dec 2007 10:45 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Chucky's back!

When Cleggers sorts out a shadow cabinet, he doesn't mess about. Everyone's favourite ex-LibDem leader is right in the mix, as President of the European Movement. Westmonster has no idea what the "European Movement" is, but suspects it might have to do with wine. Because anti-prostitution laws have been such… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 21 Dec 2007 9:23 AM. Permalink

Our American Cousins

Fake news out of re-runs

Had enough of NewsKnight? Westmonster is ecstatic to report that, just in time for the presidential primary elections to kick off, U.S. television network Comedy Central has announced the return of fake-news funny men Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to the airwaves, from 7th January. Both stars' programmes had been… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 21 Dec 2007 8:58 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Cleggers Prays Not

Is it us, or does Christmas come earlier every year? News has fallen off a cliff in the last 48 hours since the terrific excitement of Cleggers' election. And yes, we are including the announcement of the Cleggers "front bench team" (actually front-bench-and-a-bit-off-to-the-side team). BONG! He might not believe in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Dec 2007 5:20 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Department for Diffrunt People

The BNP love story

Sometimes, a story warms your heart so much, you just have to burst out laughing. So principal ballerina Simone Clarke with the English National Ballet, is set to marry the party's London mayoral candidate (good luck with that one, BNPers, the Tories have got BORIS), Richard Barnbrook. Clarke was outed… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 20 Dec 2007 10:15 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the Lunatic Asylum

Jeffrey Archer Watch: Art

Jeffrey's been to the palace to see some Renaissance art: Desmond Shawe-Taylor Surveyor of the Queen's Pictures, pointed out in his introduction that after the beheading of Charles I, the wicked Cromwell sold off his massive collection, and clever Louis of France got his hands on it. We would otherwise… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 20 Dec 2007 9:47 AM. Permalink

Ministry for telling us it's all okay

Broon: "Everything's fine!"

The economy's fine, everything's fine, nothing to worry about! All current problems will be "forgotten quickly"! If you say so, leader. PS: Even he doesn't want the PM to give out peerages anymore! Thanks to The Chap for the superb pic.… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 20 Dec 2007 9:09 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

A BNP divided

The BNP appears to be riven asunder and they think that'll be the reason no one votes for them. Um no. It's the racism thing, kids. What does the wise party spokesman, Simon Derby, have to say? He denies the BNP is irrevocably split - claiming it is simply going… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 20 Dec 2007 8:24 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

A sad day

Westmonster is sad to report, officially, the Death of Political Journalism on the BBC. This follows last night's edition of the BBC's flagship political news programme, Newsnight, which chose to cover the LibDem leadership election with a useless analogy to the X Factor and which was then followed by a… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Dec 2007 9:46 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Department for Diffrunt People

Visa bond wins no fans

Who was ever going to like this proposed policy? The international press is, unsurprisingly, not amused. In the British press, the detractors are lining up to have their say. Keith Vaz makes the point that a wedding could cost a family £20k in guest visas. The Joint Council for the… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 19 Dec 2007 9:30 AM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Welching on Clegg

Intriguing stuff over at politicalbetting.com, where Mike Smithson is calling out one of his commenters over welching on a bet. The commenter, called The Observer (maybe he's a Silver Surfer fan but The Watcher was already taken), claims to be a "senior member" of the LibDems and offered a bet… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 19 Dec 2007 9:27 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

"All parties do make mistakes"

Cammers' local party was naughty and took £7,400 in illegal gifts. When they realised their naughtiness, they returned the money. Of course, Cammers is all innocent and that, but he said that "Labour's mistakes are of a different order." The funds were forfeited because the benefactors were not on the… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 19 Dec 2007 9:00 AM. Permalink

All change please

Missing Vince Cable

The Telegraph is nostalgic for the Cable and his acting-leadership-ways already. Here's what they - speaking for us all - love about him, in order: Making coup jokes as he hands over the Mr LibDem crown Ballroom dancing with Alesha, once of Mis-Teeq Making Gord quake (but not in a… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 19 Dec 2007 8:57 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

The decorators have been in

BONG! The LibDems have a shiny new leader: all hail CleggHuhneMan! And more importantly these days, they have a shiny new homepage, featuring new leader without a tie. Gasp! Casual inclusiveness! BONG! Government proposes to cut tourist visas to three months from six for non-EU visitors, to prevent people "overstaying… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Dec 2007 5:56 PM. Permalink

Department for Ctrl-Alt-Delete

IT: harder than you think

We were going to write a long, thoughtful post on government IT, bringing in our own experiences from the land of private technology and web media, and it was going to be really good. But then bloody Dizzy Thinks wrote it instead. His point is this: until government IT is… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Dec 2007 3:46 PM. Permalink

News from the Lunatic Asylum

Jeffrey Archer Watch: Primogeniture

More from Jeffrey Archer land with his latest post, which seeks to exploit the birth of a royal child by reminding us of Jeffrey's own illustrious legislative past: The archaic law that suggests that every woman should be pushed aside in favour of a man when it comes to ascending… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Dec 2007 3:36 PM. Permalink

Westmonster Deathmatches

Nick Clegg vs. iPhone

Westmonster now presents the first in what we hope will be a regular series we're calling "Westmonster Deathmatches." Today's deathmatch pits just-crowned LibDem leader Nick Clegg against Apple's iPhone. The results may shock and amaze you. Nick CleggiPhone… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 18 Dec 2007 2:54 PM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

CleggHuhneMan beats HuhneCleggMan

It wasn't just us who were confused by the apparent similarities between the two LibDem leadership candidates: the LibDems themselves could barely make up their mind. The Cultural Stereotyping Dept. has been warned but, really: LibDems who can't make up their minds? What next? Labour and dodgy property deals? Racist… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 18 Dec 2007 2:40 PM. Permalink

Our Friends Chosen Randomly from the Unemployed

One from the top and five from the bottom

Boulton & Co. over at Sky News have finally answered the question Westmonster didn't know we were dying to ask: Who would be in your dream cabinet? They received 2,226 responses from the vaunted "Sky News Panel" to their multiple-choice survey, and it yielded some horribly exciting results.… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 18 Dec 2007 12:15 PM. Permalink

News from the Lunatic Asylum

The Broxtowe Ultimatum

In a story that boasts all the palace intrigue and tragi-comic underpinnings that befit the implosion of Britain's leading racist, fascist paramilitary group nationalist political party, The Guardian reports that 50 senior BNP figures have resigned from the party following Broxtowe BNP councillor Sadie Graham's claim that her home was being… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 18 Dec 2007 11:09 AM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Woohoo! We've got pensions!

Some good news is always nice at Christmas, and the government's found its issue to be beneficent on. They're pouring a huge amount of cash in to compensate the 130,000 workers who had lost theirs when their companies went bust. This being politics however, the story in the papers isn't… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 18 Dec 2007 9:32 AM. Permalink

I'll have some Northern Rock please

A slice of Northern Rock

So there's this secret plan (not so secret anymore, Guardian!) to give a bit of Northern Rock to each of the high street banks. Some interesting points arise from this article: Fish-eye lenses make for weird photosSurely the Gord can break his own fiscal rules? It's only a small matter… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 18 Dec 2007 8:43 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Vince Cable, it's over so soon

Today's the day the LibDems announce their leader! Acting leader Vince Cable (of "I'm off to watch Strictly Come Dancing" fame) will be making the announcement this afternoon. "Cameron-lite" (shudder) Clegg is slightly ahead, according to polls and bookies, and he's already got some reshuffling plans. This article in particular… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 18 Dec 2007 7:59 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

We've sent the discs to Kosovo

BONG! Darling's reassured us about data loss, saying none of the 25 trillion entries has fallen into the wrong hands. He didn't make clear how he could know that. Did he nick it himself? BONG! Britain is sending "80 policemen and judicial officials" to Kosovo. Is that the 21st century… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Dec 2007 6:12 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Pulp Friction Dept.

Handbags drawn

Westmonster's trying to ween itself off coverage of the UK's notoriously thin-skinned political bloggers, but when two of the biggest start laying into each other it's always too good to ignore. RecessMonkey's Alex Hilton started things off with this screed on Comment Is Free, arguing that no-one will ever convince… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 17 Dec 2007 11:32 AM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Jingo-bells

East Midlands Conservative MEP Chris Heaton-Harris has a message for you this Christmas season, and it's sure to keep you warm and cozy as you sit in front of the hearth, dreaming of British Jobs for British People. Heaton-Harris has posted this brilliantly clever, witty, well-put-together animation on his website,… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 17 Dec 2007 11:08 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Paying Saatchi & Saatchi

Publish anything! Except this!

Isn't "Inquiry into Propriety and Peerages" a much nicer name than "cash-for-honours"? Well done the Indy. Also, isn't Lord Levy a scoundrel? He's been trying to stop the publication of a major piece of evidence in the old "here's my donation and here's your title" scandal (Westmonster tries, and fails,… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 17 Dec 2007 10:37 AM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

The secrets of quangos

Well, mainly there's just one secret, and it's their spending. Just 10% of the 900 UK quangos reveal the details of their senior execs' spending. The list of the naughty ones includes the BBC and the Health and Safety Exec. What could they possibly have to hide?… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 17 Dec 2007 10:00 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Mail: Lady voters heart Davy

"Women voters have ended their ten-year love affair with Labour and are switching to the Tories." The Daily Mail, as ever, has the inside track on what's going through the ladies' minds. Apparently, it's this: "What does approval rating mean?" Because the article explains it. Also, children think Cammers is… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 17 Dec 2007 8:35 AM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

All bets are off

The YouGov poll in today's Sunday Times is one of those "all your bases are belong to us" moments for the Tories, indicating as it does that Dave has reached his target of 45% share (which would translate into a whopping 90+ seat majority), 13 points ahead of Labour. As… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 16 Dec 2007 11:10 AM. There are 3 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Basra, BoJo and Bilderberg (possibly)

Basra's been returned to the Iraqis, although British didn't keep the receipt so all it got was a credit note. Nick Clegg's already planning his team, while Chris Huhne is busy stamping out web fires by picking on bloggers. Tories try the "Brown is Scrooge" tack again, this time claiming… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 16 Dec 2007 11:00 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

World saved!

They've agreed a climate deal in Bali, but apparently only because America wants us to like them. Not really a solid basis for world salvation, is it? Chris Paul's been sent some rather nasty stuff about Chris Huhne, and he's printed it in full. This on the day when some… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 15 Dec 2007 11:16 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

It's the real thing

BONG! Soldiers are turning to coke because of stress. Insert marching powder gag here. BONG! 160 MPs call for a rethink on police pay, and ask for three speeding tickets and a fine for indecent exposure to be taken into consideration. BONG! Victims of violent crime are waiting longer for… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Dec 2007 5:40 PM. Permalink

News From The Big Tent

What does Ed do in the morning?

Are there two Ed Balls (Ballses)? Because there have been major set-piece interviews with the man this week, and they seem to rather contradict each other. First up, there's the Ed Balls whom Rachel Sylvester met, the supercharged wheeler-dealer at the heart of every government initiative:… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Dec 2007 5:05 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Livingstone v. Gilligan: deathmatch!

Bob Piper's given a slap across the wrist to Iain Dale, following Dale's hurrah for a story by Andrew Gilligan, no less, claiming that Lee Jasper holds some kind of Vulcan death-grip on the London Development Agency and all its doings. Piper's slamming Dale because he believes Ken Livingstone's response… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Dec 2007 3:23 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

The issues that matter

World drying up..... politicians don't care..... British sovereignty being signed away..... police threatening strike action..... the world's identity thieves just waiting to pounce on 25 million poor benefit claimants.... Nadine Dorries..... There's certainly a bulging pre-Christmas basket of woe for any self-respecting third party seeking a narrative to delve into.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 14 Dec 2007 3:00 PM. Permalink

Ministry For Assigning Blame

Theresa May appraises Brown

Well, it's harsh, to say the least. It seems safe to say that this is one six-month review that won't end in a pay rise. 9. Absolute disaster. "It would be an absolute f*cking disaster if Gordon Brown was Prime Minister" (government minister, reported to be John Hutton). Well I… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 14 Dec 2007 10:36 AM. There are 3 comments so far. Permalink

A Long Time in Politics

Cowardly, like a fox

Westmonster has been following all the hub-bub about the Gord's EU Treaty non-signing with a pile of salt on hand, what with all the hyperbole and bombast out there in the ether, just a grain isn't near enough to do the trick. At the risk of sounding like cheerleaders for… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 14 Dec 2007 10:00 AM. Permalink

Ooh just one drink then

'Tis the season to feel guilty

So, we're drinking a third more than the Office for National Stats had thought. They've come to this conclusion through changing the goalposts. Predictably, the drinks industry is not best pleased. How to calculate the extent of your drinking problem? Here's a simple guide:… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 14 Dec 2007 9:24 AM. Permalink

Ministry For Assigning Blame

Can't touch this

"It was just resting in my account!" The Government goes a bit Father Ted with David Abrahams' money. All £663,975 of it. It's totally going to be paid back. Eventually.… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 14 Dec 2007 8:47 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

56 is the new 42?

La, la, la, 42, 42, 42. Oh, wait. Look at this number tucked away down there at the bottom of the article! So the home affairs committee is still considering 56 eh? Very sneaky. Otherwise, Gordon's had a bit of a bashing from the press this morning. Again. The Telegraph… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 14 Dec 2007 8:13 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

No-one knows what goes on....

BONG! No-one knows what goes on behind closed doors, as Charlie Rich sang. Except we do, don't we? Gordon Brown signed a "historic" European treaty behind closed doors today, didn't he? BONG! Yvette Cooper's sick of him indoors getting all the attention. So she's come out with her own social… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Dec 2007 5:15 PM. Permalink

News from the Lunatic Asylum

Jeffrey Archer Watch: Theatre

Jeffrey's been to the theatre this week, and had this to say: Pantomime villains can often over-play the role, but he gave a beautifully understated performance of a thoroughly evil and unpleasant man. A sudden bout of self-appraisal, perhaps? Alas no: a reference to Ralph Nickleby, the bad guy in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Dec 2007 4:40 PM. Permalink

Department for Diffrunt People

Home affairs, they say no

OK, this is getting rather tedious and predictable. People are queuing up to say they don't want an extension to detention-without-charge. Lords Goldsmith and Falconer, the Director of Public Prosecutions, the Tories, the LibDems, the Labour backbenchers, Amanda Holden (probably). Now, another nail in the coffin, this time from the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Dec 2007 4:29 PM. Permalink

Department for Wonkery

Bloomberg ReviewWatch (TM)

Robert Hutton, a London reporter from Bloomberg, has taken a valuable public service in hand: tracking the number of policy reviews in the Brown government. He's been given a hat-tip by venerable lobby-dude Michael White. Hutton reckons there have now been 31 policy reviews announced since June 27, including four… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Dec 2007 1:40 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Local Policies for Local People

Historically! Important!

This was announced yesterday on the Government News Network: An historic new written agreement which will radically transform the relationship between central and local government and which sets out unprecedented new freedoms for local areas and communities has been signed by Communities Secretary Hazel Blears and LGA Chairman Sir Simon… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 13 Dec 2007 1:24 PM. Permalink

Ministry For Finger Pointing

Mummy, what's social mobility?

Okay. Sit down. Find something comforting to clutch onto. You might be shocked by this: Brightest poor children do worse than wealthy but dim classmates (!) Pick that jaw up off the floor, it's true. The Sutton Trust and the LSE have been thinking long and hard about this one.… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 13 Dec 2007 10:45 AM. Permalink

Serious Organised Crime and all that

Is Brown in for a stint of porridge?

Comedian and prolific protestor Mark Thomas has added his tuppence to Comment is Free's Liberty and the State series. There's a good opening paragraph: Rarely do first lines have the potential to cost thousands of pounds (outside of libel), and rarely do I get to write words quite like those… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 13 Dec 2007 10:07 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Not Holding One's Breath

The police no-con Smith

So the Police Federation had a ballot to change the law. When they got together, talk naturally turned to Jacqui Smith and her penny-pinching ways. As the federation chairman put it: She should not underestimate the sense of betrayal and the sense of disgust that our colleagues have. This isn't… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 13 Dec 2007 9:25 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

You've been trumped!

When your name's Donald Trump, Scotland bows down to you. Still, political furore may well ensue. Ooh, the grilling of Broon commences. Click here for the Guardian's live updates! Lord Falconer: No on 42! Is no one on Jacqui Smith's side? Labour vs Conservative: How can we make the lives… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 13 Dec 2007 8:52 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Home Nations prejudice corner

BONG! "No negotiating with Taliban" says Brown, who's also busy not negotiating with policemen and Mediterranean types who are hawking around a treaty-thingy. BONG! The police may strike. Yorkshire miners currently offering their services to government as replacement cover if needed. BONG! The public has spoken. The £50 million Big… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 12 Dec 2007 4:34 PM. Permalink

Westmonster Media Club

Live! PMQs 12/12/2007

OK, here we go. It's getting close to Christmas, Brown's got to make a flit to Lisbon later today, and we can expect questions about that, about policy pay, about The Meaning of Life (aka, 42) and about the Children's Plan (assuming anyone's had time to read it yet). Usual… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 12 Dec 2007 11:51 AM. Permalink

Ministry for telling us it's all okay

Baroness Warsi, no snark for you

Conservative peer - and one half of the teddy teacher defence duo - Baroness Warsi spoke at the Guardian race equality conference today, on the difference between being of the Muslim faith and being a Muslim who buys into a culture of extremism. Full text here. The media are loving… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 12 Dec 2007 11:40 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Blaming Everything On Immigration

More babies: Bad for Britain?

SocietyGuardian reports today that fertility rates in Britain have rebounded, up in 2006 to 1.84 from an all-time low of 1.63 in 2001. On information included in the report that 21% of UK births in 2006 were to women born outside the UK (read: possible immigrants), shadow home secretary David… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 12 Dec 2007 11:21 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Department for Waiting Lists

All data bets are off

The latest Discgate blunder is in! St Leonard's Hospital in Hackney has lost the personal details of 160 000 children. At least this one was encrypted. There are, however, fears that "the information could be enough for criminals to create fake identities." Two words: Canoe Man. He's done it before!… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 12 Dec 2007 10:46 AM. Permalink

Department of Doublespeak

Jack Straw plays "what if?"

Mr Justice himself has been typing away for Comment is Free, on the thorny issue of civil liberties. He points out a few happy developments, such as the extension of the Human Rights Act to "public authorities" (his quotation marks, his lack of real explanation); the gift of the Freedom… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 12 Dec 2007 10:45 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Unhappy cops, detention flops

The sound coming from our brave police force? It's an unhappy one. Their "trust, morale and goodwill" are all going downhill. The strike ballot's happening today. Labour ministers think Jacqui Smith's a right meanie. There's also the possibility that local council leaders could gain the power to sack police commanders.… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 12 Dec 2007 9:32 AM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

What's happening in Maidstone?

LibDem activist Paul Walter's been digging around inside ConservativeHome's comment threads and found something interesting: some comments that pose some questions over Iain Dale's presumed smooth accession to Ann Widdecombe's seat, Maidstone and the Weald. The relevant thread is here. Extract: Ann Widdecombe's favourite did not get through the sift… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 8:55 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Balls Up, Smith Down

BONG! Ed Balls releases his Children's Plan: foreign languages! adventure playgrounds! personal tutors! And some stuff about how video games are bad for you (boo!). BONG! Gordon IS going to Lisbon, but only for the private-sardine-dinner-and-EU-Treaty-signing-without-cameras. BONG! The public don't want it, the Commons don't want it, the terrorists don't… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 5:53 PM. Permalink

Department for David Beckham Studies

Contract for acceptable behaviour (unsigned)

Ed Balls' Children Plan, announced today, is a wide-ranging document with lots of good stuff in it (we're assured by people who know about these things). But if Gordon Brown is more Mr Bean than Stalin, it's clear that Balls is quite keen to adopt his own Soviet stylings. Just… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 4:44 PM. Permalink

Department for Diffrunt People

Boris' timely intervention

ConservativeHome is reporting that Boris Johnson has initiated an early day motion against the BNP in London. We can't find any reference to it anywhere else, but according to the ConservativeHome story it contains the following: We call upon all politicians from all parties to denounce the BNP in London… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 4:27 PM. Permalink

Westmonster Media Club

Alternative Iain Dale top 10

We've just noticed that Tory blogger Iain Dale has his last.fm radio widget on his blog. Now, Mr Dale likes his lists, so here's Dale's Pick of the Pops (according to the first 10 tracks played on his player): Bonnie Tyler: Lost In France The Feeling: Blue Piccadilly Alphaville: Fantastic… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 3:47 PM. Permalink

A Long Time in Politics

All rise for the Beast!

A week ago, a bunch of MPS submitted this Early Day Motion in recognition of the Beast of Bolsover himself, the mighty Dennis Skinner: That this House puts on record that the hon. Member for Bolsover has voted in an estimated 11,000 divisions since June 1970; notes that although other… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 2:11 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Moules Frites

Last-minute flit to Lisbon

What on earth is happening with the EU Reform Treaty? We were told that the Gord wouldn't be attending the signing ceremony in Lisbon on Thursday because of a prior engagement with the Commons Liaison Committee, which shows either a: an admirable attachment to the forms of British government or… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 12:40 PM. Permalink

Blast from the past

The Blairs: What Not To Wear

An amazing article from the delightful Liz Jones in the Daily Mail, on how the Blairs fail to scrub up well now they're no longer in Downing Street. Worth it for this sentence alone: "How can these people run the country when they can't even run a comb through their… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 11 Dec 2007 11:45 AM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Fleet-of-foot Vince

Vince Cable is really enjoying his hour in the sun, apparently skipping a LibDem federal executive meeting to attend the filming of the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special. Apparently he told Simon Hughes, the chair of the Executive, that the LibDem cause would be better served by his face appearing… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 11:16 AM. Permalink

Department for David Beckham Studies

The Balls Bandwagon

Rachel Silvester is doing her bit in the Telegraph today to keep the idea in people's minds that Ed Balls is a future Labour leader: Increasingly, the chatter in the Commons tea rooms is turning to the leadership contest that will unfold when Mr Brown eventually stands down. According to… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 11 Dec 2007 10:51 AM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Things We'd Like To Know

Smith to defend the number 42

Jacqui Smith is appearing before the Home Affairs Select Committee today, and it looks like she has two über-fun topics to chat about:So, why 42? It's something Westmonster and many others have wondered, not least the copyright holders of The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy, as well as the chief… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 11 Dec 2007 10:00 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Not Holding One's Breath

Save Northern Rock!

It's being bullied! By The Eyebrows! Says Chris Huhne. His fellow LibDemmer, Vince Cable, says that the bank is "bleeding to death," suggesting that he's taking this anthropomorphism thing a bit far, or else has been listening to far too much Leona Lewis. Even Cammers has got involved; unsurprisingly, he's… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 11 Dec 2007 9:54 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

The "vision" thing

The BBC: The government (well, Ed Balls) is unveiling its 10-year "vision" for children. Those quotation marks look ominous. Schools are going to have refurbished playgrounds and the like, to "increase play opportunities for children" (Westmonster's non-ominous quotation marks). Sounds very business-like, "play opportunities." Meanwhile, over in The Guardian,… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 11 Dec 2007 8:33 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Local Policies for Local People

Britain for the British!

New e-petition! Petition to: stop wasting tax payers money.: Everyday we here of yet another case of tax payers money being used inappropriately. Today it was announced that 1.6 billion has been paid in family allowance for chidren who do not live in this country and no checks are done… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Dec 2007 8:04 PM. Permalink

Points, In Order

DaveHeart (TM)

BONG! If someone hasn't thought of that headline already, we're copyrighting it. Anyway, Dave put his Unionist T-shirt on in Edinburgh today, before nipping out to buy some Scottish wool and shortbread. We think our picture is more descriptive of the Tory-Scotland interface than another one of bloody Mel Gibson,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Dec 2007 5:56 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Olympics endurance sport

To adapt a phrase, three things are certain: death, taxes and negative coverage of the 2012 Olympic games right the way up until six weeks before, when suddenly it'll turn all jingoistic and "ain't Britain great" (assuming, of course, that Britain still exists in 2012). As any fule kno, there… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Dec 2007 4:44 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Not Holding One's Breath

Is that your Final Ballot?

Watch out, Chris Tarrant, there's a new game show coming to a local election near you. That's right, Communities Secretary Hazel Blears is about to be presented with a set of recommendations from the independent Councillors Commission, which includes a proposal that voters in local government elections be entered into… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 10 Dec 2007 2:03 PM. Permalink

MPs: Working Hard... For YOU!

Please Gord, can we have some more?

Reviews of "what MPs are worth" are always going to be dangerous. Public sector pay is being clamped down upon, with a less-than-2% pay rise falling a tad short of some MPs' hoped-for 68%. It seems that 1 MP is equal to 1 GP or even 1 council chief. Fascinating… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 10 Dec 2007 10:35 AM. Permalink

Discs? What discs?

Discgate saga trundles on

Sigh. As far back as 2004, Chancellor Gord was ignoring the security risks of the government's computer network. So says a leaked report now being clutched lovingly by the Conservatives.… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 10 Dec 2007 10:03 AM. Permalink

Go on the Lib Dems!

Cleggers faffs, identifies "politics of fear"

The Telegraph interviews Nick Clegg over an almond croissant. Melissa Kite notes his love of the word "faff," calls him "a small but determined whirlwind" - unlike his predecessors! - and describes his possible effect on Davy Cammers:Mr Cameron may not be shaking in his boots quite yet - but… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 10 Dec 2007 9:22 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

The Gord: He giveth and he taketh away

The PM paid a surprise visit to Basra yesterday. He's giving the province back to the Iraqis. In time for Christmas!However, he seems to have stolen Christmas from pensioners, says the Daily Mail. And he might also be planning to take binge drinking away from us too. Want to know… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 10 Dec 2007 8:42 AM. Permalink

Department for David Beckham Studies

When Balls Becomes Dumb

Looking forward to Ed Balls' Children's Plan this week? Well, he's given us a sneak peek by recommending some role models for Britain's young people: “I think the Spice Girls have been good role models,” Balls said. “They inspire girls to believe they can stand up for themselves and do… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Dec 2007 3:24 PM. Permalink

Department for Ctrl-Alt-Delete

Government IT (first in a series)

The Times is reporting that our brave boys are not being paid because of, yes, IT failures: Problems are so widespread that members of the Special Boat Service recently complained about the pay delays to Lord Boyce, the former chief of defence staff, when he visited them on the front… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Dec 2007 12:04 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Department for Kite Flying

Mail tries Teddygate for size

Simon Walters in the Mail is claiming that Blair Stalking Horse (TM) David Miliband tried to stop Muslim peers rescuing the teddy bear teacher from a Sudanese jail. Gist of the story is that the Foreign Office didn't want to rock the boat and argued she was getting out in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 9 Dec 2007 11:45 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Help help. Here come the Blairites

Ben Brogan at the Mail reckons Blairites have given Brown five months to stop the rot. Not a single identifiable source, mind. Opening line of the Telegraph's interview with Chris Huhne: "The next Liberal Democrat leader could become the most powerful politician in the country." Get ready for European-style politics,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 8 Dec 2007 11:11 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for telling us it's all okay

Alan Johnson: There is no anti-Brown plot. Promise!

Alan Johnson denies plot to oust Brown, says The Guardian. Two prime ministers in one year is plenty. Why would anyone want to oust Broon? Well, the article comes up with a few reasons: Recent difficulties over ailing bank Northern RockLoss of child benefit computer discs Unlawful donations to Labour… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 7 Dec 2007 4:21 PM. Permalink

Department for Diffrunt People

Is it because she is black?

Clare Short: "Yes."Fear not though Lady A - that lovely David Miliband will defend you!… read more…

Written by Westmonster on 7 Dec 2007 4:09 PM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

BJ quote of the day

So someone's been to BoJo's Christmas party, at the Star Wars exhibition in County Hall: Boris said that he was proud to be running for Mayor of the greatest city in the world, then looking at the various spacecraft and aliens of the exhibition added "probably the greatest city in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Dec 2007 4:02 PM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Ministry for Local Policies for Local People

Lost in translation

News comes via The Guardian of the Government's new approach to getting immigrants to integrate: Tell councils and agencies to stop translating official forms and documents, and they'll magically learn English. Hooray! Problem solved!… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 7 Dec 2007 3:41 PM. Permalink

Ministry For Feral Media

Here comes Fleet Street

Nick Robinson has an interesting point to make about the accession of James Murdoch to the News Corp. media high command in Europe - it might not play out well for Brown. Murdoch senior has been, by all accounts, a fan of Gordon Brown for some time, admiring his work… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Dec 2007 2:13 PM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

The new "bastards"

Step forward Bob Spink, Ultra-Rebel. According to some new research by Philip Cowley and Mark Stuart from the University of Nottingham, Bob is the leading rebel among Conservative MPs under David Cameron. Since the 2005 election, Bob has rebelled from the party line on a bolshie 22 occasions, more than… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Dec 2007 1:53 PM. Permalink

News from the Lunatic Asylum

Elf you!

'Tis the season to be jolly, perhaps. But Westmonster thinks someone over at Tory Radio may have spiked Editor Jonathan Sheppard's fa-la-la-la-la with a bit too much la-la-la-la. Well I've finally got my Christmas cards posted, and to those of you who like virtual cards, I thought I'd give you… read more…

Written by Andrew Levy on 7 Dec 2007 1:03 PM. Permalink

News From The Big Tent

Contorted Plant Award

From this week's PMQs, this week's Contorted Plant award goes to Jeff Ennis, PPS to Ed Miliband and a man who really should know better: The chief executive of Yorkshire Forward recently informed me that Barnsley's economy has recovered to the levels that it enjoyed prior to the previous Government's… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Dec 2007 9:21 AM. Permalink

Ministry for Things We'd Like To Know

Galloway's shady sheikhs

We missed this yesterday, but Chris Paul didn't: George Galloway's Respect Bunfight, sorry, Coalition, has got its very own loans scandal, according to this story in the East London Advertiser. Galloway is using it for his own ends as part of the continuing internal catfight at Respect, arguing that he… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Dec 2007 9:07 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

The Broon mirage?

The vultures continue to circle over the Gord, and this time they're carrying economic statistics!. Gulp. Northern Rock hasn't gone away: a second bidder has pulled out of the process. David Abrahams plays the "is it 'cos I is black?" card and threatens dark happenings if he keeps getting kneed… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 7 Dec 2007 8:32 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Arthur Dent, Stonehenge and Schindler

BONG! Government seeks to extend detention-without-trial to 42 days. Media (including Westmonster) gorge on Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy references. BONG! Tunnel beneath Stonehenge scrapped. The Gord seeks replacement hiding place. BONG! In you-couldn't-make-it-up news, Liam Neeson says it was listening to Iain Paisley which inspired him to act. What… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Dec 2007 8:14 PM. Permalink

Department for Diffrunt People

Pile it high, sell it cheap

See that Terry Leahy, boss of Tesco, over there? He's a drug-pushing, youth-destroying, society-debauching Mafia boss, he is: The Selby MP John Grogan, a longstanding advocate of the pub trade, said: "It is with regret I say this, but I do really want to charge Terence Leahy, the boss of… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Dec 2007 5:30 PM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Black could get messy for Boris

The Beeb is reporting that a quartet of Labour MPs have tabled questions in the Commons about Boris Johnson's somewhat ill-advised character reference for his old boss, Lord Black. Our Boris is among a number of references being presented in New York (others include William Hague and, er, Elton John).… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Dec 2007 1:39 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the Lunatic Asylum

Jeffrey Archer Watch: Cricket

Fletch Archer informs us that he "rose early" to catch the cricket yesterday, and was witness to Muralitharan's world-record-breaking 709th wicket. Fletch then considers the controversial bowling action of said Muralitharan, before concluding: As a layman I feel it only fair to point out that he only bowls at 50… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Dec 2007 1:26 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Department for the Tyburn Jig

The spirit of Douglas Adams enters the Big Tent

Jacqui Smith has announced that the pre-charge detention period for terrorism suspects is to be raised to 78, no, 56 ... er, doesn't sound quite right, no wait - 42 days. Definitely 42 is the number the Home Office is going for. Sound. Fraser Nelson asks the question: why the… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Dec 2007 1:06 PM. Permalink

Ministry for the Margin of Error

Statistical tailspin

Some good news for the Gord! Air rage is down! According to this release on the Government News Network: The figures for the year 2006-07 show that * the total number of reported incidents of disruptive passenger behaviour rose from 1359 to 2219, of which 2161 were classified as significant… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Dec 2007 12:50 PM. There are 2 comments so far. Permalink

Don't Look Ethel!

Channelling David Icke on CiF

If there's probably one place where you shouldn't mention crackpot Jewish conspiracy theories (even to fisk them) it's Comment is Free, where the commentators can go from the subject of cabbage farming in outer Patagonia to the malign influence of "Israel" on world affairs in one move. With this in… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Dec 2007 10:19 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Wee Dougie says "NO!" to Question Time. Apparently.

The talk on the blogs is all about Douglas Alexander apparently "bottling" Question Time tonight for "family reasons," to the amusement of Iain Dale and Guido Fawkes. Personally, Westmonster thinks they're too harsh on Mr Alexander; if she had to stay sober on a Thursday night in order to address… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Dec 2007 9:31 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

It was Facebook what won it

Boulton & Co. reports on a possible climbdown on the part of the Government on the extension of 28-day detention. This is because the Home Office realised that Satan would be going to work in a snow plough before that one was nodded through on the quiet by Parliament the Gord heads… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 6 Dec 2007 8:25 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Jailhouse Rock

BONG! Three new "super-size" gaols to be built. Either because we're all getting fatter or the Government plans on banging more people up. One of the two. BONG! The consensus appears to be that the Gord just about pulled ahead of the Boy Cameron in PMQs. Really? Westmonster thought Davy… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 5:42 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Madness

Schadenfreude. If only you could enjoy it, eh?

What happens when you scream that your opponent is really sleazy, and he rejoins with the argument that, no, YOU'RE really sleazy? It appears that the voters conclude you're both correct.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 4:53 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Madness

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

So, fomer NSPCC chair Sir Christopher Kelly has become the new chair of the Committee for Standards in Public Life (or "sleaze buster" if you're into the tabloidisation of the minor political appointments). How disappointing.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 3:43 PM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

When there's something strange in the neighbourhood ...

... who ya gonna call? Caped Crusader, scourge of dodgy donors, and campaigner for truth and justice [draws breath] Chris Huhne has turned his forensic eye to the Conservative books, having spent the previous week analysing the Labour ones. From his official site:… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 1:10 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Paper Waving

LIVE!: PMQs, 5/12/07

So, what did we think? Again, Westmonster feels that Cameron was competent enough, but banging on about the chairmanship of a Committee stopped short of winning the They Talk About Nothing Else On The Streets of Rotherham Award. Possibly he was wary of dragging the Donorgate thing out any longer… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 11:40 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

The Breakdown of Society (TM)

The Conservatives can call off the search, for thanks to the Daily Mail and Fay Wheldon (who used to be good value before she started believing her own pronouncements) we have found the Root Of All Evil in British society. Oh yes, Fay has seen the sign of the Beast… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 11:32 AM. Permalink

Our Friends North of the Border

The Curse of Glasgow Cathcart

News reaches us via the Spectator CoffeeHouse and Liberal Democrat Voice that the media may have an opportunity to scalp a politician over the "dodgy donations" fiasco afterall. Charlie Gordon MSP is in further trouble over the now notorious Paul Green donation for £1.67p: the Daily Record reports that Green… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 9:58 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Airing dirty laundry in public

Perhaps one of the less bright ideas of the Conservatives was the debate yesterday on party funding as it gave the hitherto ignored questions ("they're just trying to smear us, you know," CCHQ had previously claimed, flouncily, when the words "Lord" and "Ashcroft" were put to them in any sort… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 5 Dec 2007 8:51 AM. Permalink

Points, In Order

Edifying scenes and the smearing smear

BONG! The party funding debate is rumbling on in the House of Commons as we speak, and what follows is the summary thus far. Conservatives: Labour's corrupt and funded by smelly working class people ... uh ... unions, we meant the unions. Labour: at least we're not funded by Darth Ashcroft and… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 7:15 PM. Permalink

Our Friends North of the Border

Torches and pitchforks at the ready

In case you've been living under a rock (or reading London Lite) for the past couple of days, you won't have failed to notice that there's a baying mob outside the front door of ol' Wendy Alexander. Will she go? Maybe. The Tories want her out certainly as it's quite… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 3:27 PM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

Tinfoil hattery at the CoffeeHouse

[Disclaimer: we are actually big fans of the CoffeeHouse. But this was just hilarious] Amazing scenes on last night's News At Ten, which had all of us here at the Spectator spluttering into our sherries in indignation.… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 3:20 PM. Permalink

Don't Look Ethel!

Have Your Say is Revolting!

We all knew that the end of days would begin thus: by the arrival of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, or "Have Your Say" commentators as they are sometimes known. And they're all getting a little over-excited. From the trenches of the BBC moderation department, revolution is brewing, and… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 12:33 PM. Permalink

Department for Tax and Spend

Yes Please, Minister

Iain Dale is outraged at the news that Paul Gray (brief backstory: in charge of HMRC when Datagate hit the headlines the other week, promptly resigned. With us? Good) is to be given a cushy job in the Cabinet Office which pays two hundred thousand beans a year. For ourselves,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 10:27 AM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Boy David: "la la la la! I can't hear you!"

"There will be nothing to stop us this time," muttered Darth Ashcroft as he ordered his minions (aka Davy Cameron and chums) to put in for a topical debate on party funding today. The Gord's down on his luck, the media's saturated with Opposition politicians being sanctimonious all over us,… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 10:11 AM. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Hypocrisy and Hyperbole

Chris Huhne's posturing over Donorgate looks even more hollow (after we pointed out yesterday that Chrissy's honour-bound to bankrupt the LibDems if he ever becomes leader of them) as it is revealed - again - that the Durham business park had nothing to do with getting the approval of the comrades… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 4 Dec 2007 9:20 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

Points, In Order

Back To Black

BONG! Cripes! It looks like Bojo's got his priorities in a wangle again and has been taking time out from his campaign for the mayoralty to write to a judge explaining what a jolly good chap a certain convicted criminal is (via Luke Akehurst). BONG! Take cover folks, the Westmonster… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 5:38 PM. Permalink

News from the Carlton Club

Cameron: "Let Them Eat Cake"

Fraser Nelson's take on the Cameron press conference is well worth a read. Speaking for ourselves, we are heartened to learn that Davy actually took the time to order piping hot Earl Grey and freshly baked all-butter thins for the ravenous hacks. Afterall, the way to a man's heart is through… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 4:27 PM. Permalink

Don't Look Ethel!

The Great Norkage Divide

There's an interesting discussion going on chez Finkelstein over whether Theresa May and Jacqui Smith are displaying too much cleavage in the Chamber. Westmonster feels that the sentiments behind this "debate" are best summed up by the commentator known as Jan: I don't agree with Daniel Finkelstein.Cleavage of any sort… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 2:20 PM. Permalink

Ministry for Things We'd Like To Know

Obsession (a new fragrance for Labour)

QUESTION: When is investigation and comment regarding donations to political parties that may be breaking the rules deemed to be an "unhealthy obession" and "attempted smear"? ANSWER: When the questions that are being asked relate to those who bankroll the Conservatives rather than the Labour Party. Like, duh!… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 2:01 PM. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

Will Huhne put his £2.4m where his mouth is?

There are some people who (Westmonster strongly suspects) don't actually listen to what their mouths are saying, but sort of let them flap up and down on their own. Such a person is Chris Huhne who seems to have gotten so preoccupied with seeing his face on the telly that's… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 11:55 AM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

News from the United Federation of Muesli Knitters

A message from Vince Cable

What me? Oh no, no, no. I'm just a backroom boy: I put a bit of stick about, I make 'em jump. There's plenty of young chaps - ambitious chaps, too - around who aspire to the leadership of our party. Best leave the serious campaigning to them. Of course, you might think… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 11:23 AM. Permalink

Meedja on the Insanity Pills

"Some of my best friends are members of LFI"

It is the law that whenever more than one Jew is present in any given media story, articles hinting darkly at an "Israeli" (as the euphemism goes) conspiracy must naturally follow. Although it took a few days for the usual suspects to confirm that David Abrahams and Jon Mendelsohn were… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 10:46 AM. There are 3 comments so far. Permalink

While You Were Sleeping

Morning roundup: UGH edition

Westmonster is ill. Very ill. Not going into details but needless to say that as soon as she's done this belated roundup, she's hot-footing it down the quack. Remember me in your prayers. David Abrahams is still flouncing around, roaring that he'll like, TOTALLY put all his cards on… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 3 Dec 2007 9:44 AM. Permalink

Department for Kite Flying

Failure to deliver

Okay, so what have we missed with this Mail on Sunday article entitled "Exclusive: Labour to launch inquiry into SECOND donor scandal"? We've read it through twice and as far as we can see it should actually be headed with "Nothing to see here, folks. Man who's entitled to legally… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 2 Dec 2007 12:53 PM. There are 1 comments so far. Permalink

That Was The Week That Was

It's Bean a Long Week

Another Saturday, another roundup, but we're getting a bit fed up of beginning these with "another grim week for the Gord," so until otherwise stated, just take that one as read, folks. Monday dawned with another attempt on the part of the comrades to "relaunch," this time though a speech… read more…

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 1 Dec 2007 12:55 PM. There are 6 comments so far. Permalink

December 2007 Archives