Trouble up t'Home Office

Poor Jacqui Smith's getting a bit of a drubbing in the papers this morning over the latest immigration scandal to hit the Home Office. The Telegraph takes her to task for failing to station pitchfork-wielding mobs on the white cliffs of Dover, the Independent takes a broad look at recent Ministerial woe, Daniel Finkelstein thinks it's time to start panicking, and Ann Treneman in the Times covers the cover-up of the mighty Jacqui bazongas. Edifying.
Bird-flu a-go-go as it emerges that turkeys will do anything to get out of their Christmas commitments.
Alex Salmond predicts ~~the end of the world~~ Scottish Independence for 1993, no wait, uh - 2011. No, no, we mean 2017. That's the one.
Lib Dem Euro MP reads too much science fiction.

Guido wants to know who the Browns have for dinner. Hmm. Slow roasted former Blairites perhaps? Oh, you mean as guests.
Miliband the Younger breaks his recent - almost Trappist - vow of silence to say something about how the Iraq war was written in the stars or similar.
American yoof declares war on Hillary Clinton. The weapon? Can you guess? Cannyoo? Yup it's ... Facebook!
Dave Osler is confused as to the point of citizens' juries.
The Ministry of Truth examines Cameron's rape speech.
Francis Elliot has a look at the three candidates for the London mayoralty. Sigh. Can't they all lose?
And the Guardian reports that Lord Ashcroft is to be questioned about his tax status.