Sometimes it's hard to be a Cameron

Guess what? Cameron is the first person EVAH to notice that rape is a bit of a problem for women, and as the only one who's spotted this hitherto, Westmonster is pleased to confer on him the title of "First Lady." As to those glory-stealing women who've tried to jump on his bandwagon (chuh, some people, eh?) by claiming that they've been banging on about this issue for years only to be rewarded with jeers and heckles about being "feminazis" or "man haters" rather than fawning accolade for stating the bleeding obvious - well. We're not buying it for a minute.
Here it is folks, the headline you've all been waiting for: "Kids 'risk' to climate."
Coming soon to a Conservative Party press briefing near you: The Curse of the Police Targets: Milkbottles or Murderers?

The Gord addresses the Lord Mayor's Banquet and gets all hard-headed on everybody's ass over foreign policy. Be still our beating hearts!
"Why do the British love binge drinking?" asks the Telegraph. Well, because Britain's bloody freezing, the pub's nice and warm, and it saves us the hassle of having sex as opposed to just talking about it (in the pub, see above). Westmonster thought everybody knew this.
The Scottish Affairs Committee starts its investigation into the elections fiasco.
David Aaronovitch has a look at Conservative Party policy on Europe and has the distinct impression of tumbleweed rolling down a deserted street.
A Peer invokes Parliamentary privilege to finger the men he believes were behind a murder in South Armagh last month.
And in the Serengeti of the House of Commons, a pack of hyenas scent the blood of a young wounded gazelle, and close in for the kill.