LIVE!: PMQs, 21/11/07

11.57PM: Hain's winding up and the Gord has just slipped into position. Where's Harriet?

12PM: And we're off. Ann McKechin requests Question 1, and after the preliminaries we're underway. McKechin heads straight for the major issue and asks about the Lost Disk Fiasco. Brown "profoundly regrets" what has happened and outlines the work that everybody's doing to check that we're all not all going to lose our wonga (or "remaining overdraft" in this correspondent's case) to the endeavours of benefit thieves. Oh and he set up a "review." Yup folks, another one.

12.03PM: Cameron's up on his feet and doing his disappointed-bit-not-surprised routine about the HMRC problems. Is it a systemic failure, he asks? Gord: "s'ok. We've got A Review!" Apparently it is a procedural fuck-up ... there's some bag-carrier in HMRC somewhere that's sh*tting himself.

12.06PM: Ooh, but Davy ain't having any of it and after a litany of failures demands to know why after ten years the Government still can't manage to operate the intricacies of the postal services without ballsing it up. Brown reads from the manual saying what should have happened.

12.07PM: Cameron bounces back that these "one offs" are hardly, well, "one off" to which Basher Davis and Boy George Osborne roar "ooooaaah!" and in doing so resemble a bizarre sort of Parliamentary backing chorus. 

12.09PM: The Gord walks into a massive cowpat by trying to partially lay the blame for the Lost Disk on the Tories apparent desire to cut funding to the HMRC. Cameron is all: "you ain't pinning this one on us, boyo." Brown hangs on to the importance of his review. Davy shimmers up again and knees him in the Parliamentary balls by asking how on earth ID cards can possibly now still be considered as a serious policy?

12:12PM: Brown is all "national identity registers am the best. There's no problem!" Cameron: "unless its administrators want to use the post at any stage, eh?" Gord ain't having any of it and goes into the list of How Great Labour Is to roars of support from the comrades and less polite sentiments from the other side.

12:14PM: Patricia Hewitt bowls a soft one about how great the EU Treaty is because it allows us all to concentrate on climate change or something. Brown gratefully agrees, but isn't it a dodgy time to start raising other contentious issues?

12:15PM: Vince pings up to roar "not fit for purpose!" with regard to the Treasury and emphasise how much public money is being hammered into Northern Rock. Gord: "am I bovvered?"

12:17PM: Richard Burden allows Brown to clarify his educational policy with regard to  (nice of him), and John Randall (Con) asks whether any of the Cabinet have offered to resign in the last week. Gord says no, and "nor should they."

12:19PM: John Redwood asks why there are so many terrorists in Britain today to a very girly "woooooooooooo!" from the Opposition benches, and Paul Farrelly wants to know how Brown plans to ensure that Children Are Our Future. Brown: "because Labour is GREAT!"

12:20PM: Missed that one - sorry. Some Tory comparing Alistair Darling to Baldrick we think. Ladies, ladies, please.

12:24PM: A Tory bounds up to accuse Brown of "smiling" during the HMRC discussion. The Gord: "you are wrong. I never smile. Let me read you this report ..." The House struggles with narcolepsy until Ben Chapman rises to ask whether the consultation on the Post Office is a REAL consultation and not a foregone conclusion. Brown: "yes."

12:26PM: Andrew Robothan asks a question on  the manifesto commitment to a referendum on the EU Treaty. Brown asks whether Cameron's going to stick to his commitment to hold a retrospective one, eh, eh? Robathan: sad.

12:29PM: Blimey! Heathcote-Amory says "wind-turbines are shite. We want more nuclear power!" The Gord - actually cheeful now - points out that this isn't exactly what green, fluffy, shiny haired Cameron would endorse as a policy suggestion and roars that the Opposition is "all talk and no action!"

12:30PM: And that's it.