LIVE!: PMQs, 14/11/07

12PM: And we're off! The Gord is flanked by Harriet and Jacqui Smith. Westmonster thinks they look quite alike, what do we think?

12.01PM: Alistair Carmichael starts us off with a question about the Israel-Palestinian conflict, which gives Gordon an opportunity to do his statesman thang as he pledges financial support for economic development. Looking good, Gord.

12.03PM: Brown congratulates everyone involved in Glasgow getting the Commonwealth Games and looks forward to a Great Sporting Decade.

12.05PM: Ah, here comes Davy. Cameron glitters to his feet and after the preliminaries he's off and straight for the jugular on the recent immigration, uh, ishoos at the Home Office. Brown is: "everything's fine in Home Officeland, everybody's good, whatcha chatting about you floppy haired eejit?"

12.06PM: Davy's having NONE OF IT! After genteely roaring that it's just another example of Government spin as Jacqui sits stony faced, he wants to know when Brown knew about it. The Gord bats back that it is Government regulations that the Tories voted against that ... fill in the rest yerselves.

12.08PM: Brown is pressed again on when he knew. Brown: "took action ... operational responsibility ..."

12.10PM: Heh, this is getting classy. Cameron: when did you know? Brown: we took action! Cameron: but when did you know? Brown: look! A bird!

12:11PM: The House sobers up after a question over posthumous medals for those serving in Afghanistan and Iraq.

12:12PM: Vince Cable - feet firmly planted to the floor - asks whether the Gov't have lobbed a cool £24m in the direction of Northern Rock. Brown refuses to comment on commercially confidential documents.

12:14PM: Vince: BOLLOCKS! Brown: well, I ain't commenting so whatcha gonna do?

12:16PM: Adrian Sanders struggles to get his voice heard over the muttering - presumably the tea lady had just arrived. Anyway, the Gord gives a response on diabetes and we're onto John Heppell who (to cries of "go ooooon John!) asks a nice 'un on the EU Treaty and post-ratification referendum. Brown appreciates the soft-ball and has a dig at the Tories' Europe policy.

12:19PM: Er, how did that question from Anne McIntosh on farming end up with an answer on economic growth and how tremendous the comrades are? 

12:20PM: Steve Pound forgets to get up and ask his question and has to be prodded by surrounding MPs. Nice one Steve!

12:22PM: John Hemming takes a pop at English social care for children as opposed to the Scottish model, and Chris Ruane bowls a gentle one on giving yoof opportunities. The Gord - coincidentally - is able reel of a litany of how tremendous his educational reform is, and even remembers to add the soundbite at the end: "education for the many, not the few."

12:24PM: Some Tory has harrumphed a question on "why the bally hell Lord Malloch-Brown is getting a jolly nice pad and what's he doing for it?" The Gord: "he's in Government. You're not. Deal with it." Tory: sad.

12:26PM: Here comes Dennis Skinner on the Year of Black Wednesday which was also the year the Derbyshire pits closed. Labour has managed to save the coalfields subsequently according to Dennis, but the Tories aren't having it judging from the hollering from the Opposition benches. Brown, getting as close as he can to a grin, agrees that the Conservatives were pretty damn crap actually.

12:29PM: David Taylor asks a tabled question on PFI in schools. Gord: "ten million new schools, 15 billion more schools refurbished ..." Taylor bobs to his feet again to ask what cost will fall on the taxpayer if the schemes go tits up. The Gord: "we owe our greatness as a nation to PFI. Oh and the Tories are crap." 

12:30PM: Ah the eternal return. We finish as we start with an Opposition question about when the PM knew about the immigration shenanigans in the Home Office. The Gord: "bugger off, it's lunch time." And that's it, folks.