Lib Dem apologises to Speaker

Liberal Democrat leadership hopeful Chris Huhne apologised to Michael Martin today for getting over-excited in a Newsnight interview and claiming that the Speaker fell asleep during the Boy David's speech the other day.

"I'd like to apologise to the Speaker for this unseemly behaviour, but it's been a bugger of a week. I've dropped a bit of a bollock this morning with the Sir Chris Clarke quote, and wee Nicky Clegg is being a nasty little show off down the tea-room over his First Place rosette that he won in the David Cameron Look-Alike Competition.

"Still, all publicity's good publicity, eh? Now where did I put that number for Paxo?"