Ministry for Moules Frites
Ironic punishment division
Sometimes it's hard being leader of the Opposition, eh?
There you are, doing well in the polls, feted by your party for your taunting of brooding Brown, your hair looks great, and you decide to go for the money shot and give the Gord a damn good thrashing over not holding a referendum on the EU Treaty.
The Daily Mail, Express, and Sun are right behind you and Nikkala (21, from Kent) is reportedly, er, orgasmic. Throwing down demands for something you don't really want (see: The General Election That Wasn't) when you know you're not going to get it is such a clever sport as it makes you look sooooo courageous whilst your opponent looks like a bit of an arse. What could possibly go wrong?
Apart from, of course, waking up the slumbering Europsceptics within your own party who are now demanding a retrospective referendum should you win the next election, which you really don't want because that would piss off France and Germany, with whom you are attempting to build bridges, and lead to a wholescale renegotiation of Britain's relationship with Europe. Then you're reduced to giving press conferences at which you are saying the equivalent of:
- I never had sexual relations with that woman;
- Even if the polls had predicted we win by 100 seats, I still wouldn't have held an election.
under the fish-like gaze of sceptical hacks.
Is that the sound of schadenfreude from the Brown bunker, or merely of bottles being rattled in the general direction of the Boy Dave?
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