LIVE! PMQs for 10/10/07

11:59 A couple of minutes to go until Welsh Questions winds up, and Westmonster would like it noted that it appears to be House of Commons Loud Tie Day, with both Peter Hain and Jack Straw wearing eye-watering confections. Looking good, gents.

12:00 Here we go. Harriet wrestles aside the person sitting next to Brown.

12:02 A gag about bottle banks in Bromley is met with a response about the Comprehensive Spending Review. It's the way he tells 'em!

12:03 Here comes Dave, quiff a' quivering about the Gord's trustworthiness.

12:04 "He's the first PM in history to flunk an election because he thought he'd win it!" He's been working on that for some time. The boy Dave seems to be quoting at length from Brown's book on Courage.

12:05 Brown seems to be labouring under the delusion that the ladies and gents in the meedja are interested in public sector provision rather than whether or not there is going to be a Brown-Cameron smackdown. Westmonster begs to differ.

12:06 Debate on how many non-domiciles are resident in the UK. When is the phrase "their sums don't add up!" going to be used?

12:07 Here comes a scripted question from Dave including the word "bottle." Oliver Letwin is laughing so much his head is resembling an over-ripe tomato on the point of explosion

12:08 "The provisions of the EU Treaty are substantively different from those of the EU Constitution." Hmmm. What will the Sun's Nikkala make of that, eh?12:09 Please Gord! Please don't read the full report on how and why the Treaty's different from the constitution!

12:10 Blimey, Gord's getting MAAAAD! Any second now he'll turn green, tear his shirt off, and beat Cameron repeatedly over the head with the mace.

12:11 Here comes everybody's favourite cockerney, Martin Salter, who wants to see how many of those on the Tory benches are benefitting from the Boy George's tax plans.

12:12 Ming: "Savaged by a dead sheep" is the phrase that immediately springs to mind. Makes you realise how strong Cameron has been so far today.12:12 Here comes Ming!

12:13 Ming on council tax. Gordon on the LibDems black hole - one that Ming's scheduled to fall down as soon as Nick Clegg gets his shit on, Westmonster suspects.

12:14 Newly deselected Bob Wareing on why Liverpool should be getting more money for its year of culture. Sales of The Coral's new album apparently not holding up, then.

12:15 Westmonster's former MP Nick Gibb on local hospitals, the closing thereof, a question that's guaranteed him an excellent write up in the Bognor Regis Observer.

12:16 The sound's gone funny. Westmonster thinks that Jack "Chuck Norris" Straw's tie is interfering with the sound. We assume that the Gord is talking about loadsa money for the NHS.

12:17 Back to the non-doms with Nick Palmer. Brown noticeably chilling out now. Alistair Darling and Harriet Harman who are flanking him on either side looked a little worried there for a moment. Non-doms should pay their share...et cetera. Some good stuff on where the Tories got their sums from: Accountancy Age and The Observer, apparently.

12:19 We're into "interesting debates" today, aren't we? Dr Alan Whitehead on encouraging people back to work by the reformation of incapacity benefit.

12:20 Speak up Dr Paisley! We can't hear you! But interesting to hear Paisley ask questions about the minutiae of regional finance, and not about Catholics burning in brimstone.

12:21 "Would the Prime Minister agree that the minimum wage is great. Almost as great as you!" Linda Gilroy, thank you.

12:22 Minimum wage for teenagers? Why, when Westmonster was that age she had to march through four miles of snow for a flogging and a tuppence, and damn glad she was to get it too.

12:23 Damien Green on the situation in Burma combined with a crafty one about the Gord's "moral compass." Classy.

12:24 Former Home Secretary David Blunkett on unhelpful statements from insurers. Brown responds that Labour has invested muchly in the NHS! Jes' kiddin'.

12:25 Westmonster doesn't want to cast aspersions, but Graham Brady must have gone to a private school, right?

12:26 Lynne Jones on how da kidz are drinking muchly of The Booze with tragic consequences. The industry needs to stop targetting children, and Brown agrees.

12:27 Lynne Featherstone's constituency is suffering from postcode lotteries in education - schools in Inner London get a lot more, she claims.

12:28 Darfur is raised by Tom Clarke. Brown pronounces it "Darfewer" which is odd, but gives a firm answer on the humanitarian situation.

12:29 Michael Spicer was a little, er, incoherent. Flood defence provision question allowing Brown to roll out a huge list of numbers and how the head of the Environment Agency has stated that Britain is now the driest place in Europe: FACT.

12:30 Dr Phyllis Starkey with a VERY tough question. VERY tough. The Gord - champion that he is - has an answer ready. Note: this is sarcasm.

And that's it. An interesting half-hour. Dave demonstrated he is able to do "pissed off" as well as "pissed" and sounded genuinely passionate about calling the PM a chicken, while the Gord got all "HULK MAAAAD!" on Parliament's ass, and nobody could hear Ming Campbell for the sound of knives being sharpened behind him. In short, it was nasty.

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 10 Oct 2007 11:38 AM. Permalink