Alex Salmond: The Garbage Man Can't?

Because political discourse can never have too many Simpsons analogies, allow Westmonster to draw her readers' attentions to this episode where Homer decides to run for the position of Sanitation Commissioner. He wins a landslide, under the slogan "Can't Someone Else Do It?" and a manifesto commitment that his garbage men will do everything for his constituents, including waxing their cars and "airing out your stinkables."

The local paper reports that Homer puts his victory down to "crazy promises." And so, seamlessly, we move onto the predicament that First Minister Alex Salmond finds himself in nearly six months after his own raft of crazy promises saw the SNP become the largest party in Scottish politics.

Almost unnoticed (well, by the London-centric media, anyway) in the Eyebrow's comprehensive spending review announcement the other week was the news that Scottish settlement was a little on the tight side. Just as Homer managed to spend his entire budget in a month - "they let me sign cheques with a STAMP, Marge! With a STAMP!" - Salmond is about to have an Old Mother Hubbard problem of his own.

The fact is that there is not enough money for the SNP to deliver on their spending commitments, which include free higher education, a £2,000 grant for first time home buyers, a freeze on council tax, removing business rates for small firms, and free oral sex on the NHS. Okay, we made the last one up, but you see what we're getting at here.

The question of how these "crazy promises" are to be funded given the meagre CSR settlement is yet to be resolved. This week it was calculated that Edinburgh alone would require an extra £23m if Salmond was to fulfill this promise, but the funding available to all councils who agree to the freeze only totals £70m. Combined with this is the slight problem caused by a below-average rise in council tax of 1.5%, introduced by the former Labour administration in advance of the Scottish elections. Council services are already underfunded, the new rates will squeeze them further, and the SNP hasn't got any money.

Salmond addressed the SNP annual conference with a selection from Alex's Greatest Hits: The Opposition Years - it's all Westminster's fault... independence... I don't care what those economic advisors say, I'm going to do fiscal irresponsibility my way... and so on.

Fair enough. But pointing at Westminster and claiming it's all their fault is a policy that can only work so long for whilst you're in office as opposed to opposition; he's going to have to start making cuts and, you know, governing as opposed to investing all his time and effort in populist grandstanding. As soon as the councils precipitate the crisis by overspending on their budgets, expect fireworks from a public who were won over by the slogan: Can't Someone Else Pay for It?

Written by Lloyd Shepherd on 27 Oct 2007 12:50 PM. Permalink